


Foe of Utopia

by PanSexual_AntiHero



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood and Violence, Bottling It TF up, Depression, Dubcon Kissing, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Some Comfort, I am a sinner, Ill say lmao, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Let's just give you some tags, Mild Sexual Content, My god I do sick things to my protag, Older Man/Younger Woman, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence, So much torture, Torture, be prepared, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 81,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15088763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanSexual_AntiHero/pseuds/PanSexual_AntiHero
Summary: Elizabeth Pierce was a deputy in Hope County, she wanted to save everyone from the Peggies. But Life has a funny way of saying fuck you to your plans.. You will follow as she is lead to Eden's Gate.. With her new family.It will be a scary, and confusing time for her as she battles with what she believes, and how she feels..





	1. Salvation of the Snake

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, read the tags if you haven't yet.  
> Enjoy if you have!

I have tried my damnedest to save Hope County. I have put blood, sweat, and tears into taking down these Peggies, and pissing off the Seed family. Enough to get drowned, nearly forced to get a giant tattoo across my chest to be cut off of me -- Luckily that didn't happen. I was drugged out of my mind and convinced to jump off a 125 foot statue only to miraculously _live_ \-- which was in all likelihood a fucked up drug trip along, that would surely cause me severe brain damage for years to come. I have been tortured, brainwashed, and force fed ground, human meat. I have made friends, and I have been forced to fight on when they were taken away or killed. I have just about had it running all over to save as many people as I can; only for them to get slaughtered anyways.

Yet, I never stop fighting. I could never give up on these people. I care about too many in Hope County to give up, or let myself get taken down. I was taking out a Cult Outpost with the air support of my best friend, Nick Rye. My pretty little heterochromia eyed cougar; Peaches, by my side, lurking in the shadows. I tried my best to take these places down stealthily, Nick usually served as the distraction with destruction. I was rounding my way around a wall as I remained crouched, Peaches ready to pounce as she followed my lead. We we're in a place they called Eden's Convent, in Faith's region. I could feel the affects of the Bliss tingling over my body as we hugged the Church wall. I looked up, and slowly climbed through the window. I made my way in, and crouched down to hide behind a pillar as Peaches hopped in after me. I looked to see one of the Angels at the front of the Church, on the little platform where the pastors usually are. I shot him down with my silenced pistol and went to creep ahead when I hear Peaches let out a low growl followed by the click of a gun pointed at my head. "Drop it." He let out, and I dropped the pistol, put my hands up slowly, and carefully removed my AR from around my shoulder. The man kicked them away from me, and I looked to Peaches as she was ready to pounce. "Call the cat off, or she won't be making it outta here alive." I kept my hands in the air, and turned to her. "Easy, girl.." I let out, but she didn't back down. "Peaches. Down." I let out sternly and she laid down submissively. "Good. Now stand up." I slowly moved to stand, turning to him and he glared. "It's you. You're the wanted Sinner." I looked up at him and blew a strand of hair out of my face. I glanced behind him and noticed a back room which in all likelihood had been where he'd come from while I was focused on the Angel."Dep, I ain't doin' so good. The damn Peggies took out my wing, I'm just a bit out of the way from you." The man looked at my hip and snatched the device, throwing it to roll under a pew. "You gonna kill me or what?" I let out, and he looked a bit conflicted, "The Father wishes for your salvation." "I'm not going without a fight, and trust me -- I'll be the one to walk away from this fight." I spoke lowly, I could hear the low sound of Nick speaking on my walkie. Nick was far enough away to be safe, and Peaches could take this guy out no problem, and get the hell outta here, ain't a doubt in my mind. I looked to him, he'd never lowered his weapon, he and I both knew it was him or me. But he had the advantage, he could fire a shot before I could even get my guns back. Was this the end of it?

"Get the Hell back!" Nick's voice shouted, and I snapped my gaze to him. The Peggie grabbed my shoulder, and forced me in front of him to keep Nick from firing. He was holding up an AR, and ready to kick ass. "Nick, leave." I let out as he stepped into the church slowly. "Not a goddamn chance am I gonna leave you here." He let out and I gave a frustrated sigh. I looked behind Nick and shouted, "Nick! Watch out!" Before he could turn completely he was whacked upside the back of his head, and sent tumbling onto the ground. The Peggie behind him stepped over him as he groaned in pain, rolling onto his side. His gun was kicked away, and I could hear Peaches growling lowly as this all went down. Fucking Hell. "Let him go!" I growled as I stepped forward, but the guy grabbed me, and yanked me back. A frustrated shriek pushed past my teeth as I kept my balance. "Look, you can have me, but let him go." I spoke, and the men looked to me as the walked in; one of them forced Nick onto his feet, and led him to us. "The Father wants me, not him. If you brought me to him, you'd be doing a damn good job at following what God wants.. So, take me." They exchanged looks, "You all stay here until you are in the hands of the Father." The man behind me spoke, and I sighed. "As long as you don't hurt either of them, you got a damn deal." Nick looked to me, his sunglasses were missing, which allowed me to see his eyes were riddled with confusion. I could almost hear him asking what my angle was in all this. The sound of a radio screeching on came from behind me, "Father.. We've got the Deputy with us, she said she was willing to convert. We'd like you to meet us at Eden's Convent to take her to be cleansed." He spoke, and let off the button, Joseph's response was immediate. "Thank you, My Child. I will be there shortly." He responded, and there was silence."Both of you sit until the Father gets here. You don't try and leave until she's gone." He said pointedly.

We were zip-tied by the wrists and sat on a pew while the men stood guard around the church as we waited. "Ellie." Nick whispered as he scooted towards me. "Nick." I responded casually, petting Peaches with my bound hands as she rested her head on my knee. Nick let out a quick, frustrated sigh as he tried to get me to look at him. "What the hell are you thinkin'?" He asked angrily, "I'm thinking you have a wife, and a new born at home." He scooted closer again, "What about you, huh?" "What about me." I let out, and he glared, "The hell's that supposed to mean. You can't just let them whisk you away, Dep." Nick let out in a faint growl, and I sighed. "Whatever happened to the fear of God in you thinking about leaving that little girl fatherless." I spoke, looking to him, "I ain't gonna let you die." "And I'm not gonna leave Bethie without a dad. Now deal with it. When I leave, you. fucking. run." I loved Nick and his family more than anyone here; Their baby girl was my goddaughter, named after me and everything. Before Nick could argue, the sound of a helicopter came over head. I looked towards the church doors, Nick kept his eyes on me, and I turned to meet them. I stared at him for a moment while Joseph was escorted in. I sighed and looked down before I stood. I turned and looked to Joseph. He was actually wearing a shirt, a clean white button up neatly tucked into his jeans held up by his Cult belt. The shirt did have the first three buttons open, but hey, he was wearing it.

Joseph approached, arms out stretched towards me. Oh lord, he was gonna start preaching, wasn't he? "Let's just get this straight, Joseph." I let out as I rounded my way passed the pews to him. Nick stood shortly after to follow slowly. "You take me, and you let my friends go." Joseph looked to me, and nodded silently. "And what has made you change your mind, My Child?" I flexed my jaw slightly before I glanced to Nick, "Your people pointing a gun at my best friend." I spoke, and Nick gave me a sad, yet angry look. I looked down as he did so, and I turned back to Joseph. "He has a family, and I don't want your people touching a hair on those girls heads." I began, stepping forward slowly, "If I find out otherwise?" I stopped in front of Joseph, only inches from him, looking up to meet his eyes hidden behind those sunglasses of him that made his eyes appear green, "If I hear they were hurt, I'll slit your throat in your sleep." I promised, and he remained unfazed, but the Peggies were getting close, of course not liking it too much when their Father's life was threatened."Understood?" I asked, and he gave a gentle smile. "Of course, Child. But your people must also promise not to kill my men coming after you." He spoke, and I nodded slightly, glancing to Nick for a moment. "I'm important to the Resistance." I started, and backed away to look fully at Joseph, "I'm what drives them. Before I came along no one had the balls to pick up their guns and _really_ fight back. If they find out that I converted... They'll give up." I spoke, and looked back to Nick, "They'll think that I gave up on them. On the Resistance. Everything. It will discourage them, there are other leaders, but no one did anything before me. If even I was taken down. I gave in, and converted.. They'll lose hope." I sighed and looked down before my gaze went back to Joseph.

"Nick will tell them all. We came here to liberate it, but I decided to leave with you, that I betrayed him. All of them. They'll hate me for it. No one will come for me." I reassured and Joseph looked to Nick. "Mr.Rye." He spoke, gesturing him over and I turned to stand beside Joseph. Nick glanced to him, but he returned, and kept his gaze on me as he walked over. Joseph held his hand out to take a knife from a Peggie and cut him free along with myself. Nick kept staring at me, begging for this to all be a plan to escape, and if not, for me to change my mind. Peaches slowly approached us, and I looked down to her. "Peaches, you go with Nick." She let out an odd noise of protest, a mix between a soft whimper and a growl. "I know girl.." I muttered before I pet her, I looked up to him. "Now, go." Nick set his hand on Peaches head, she nuzzled into it -- He was the only other one she trusted, and would listen to. "Tell her." I muttered, and his jaw flexed in anger. "Peaches.. Come on girl, let's go.." She didn't obey right away, but as Nick began to slowly back away from us, she eventually followed in his footsteps. I looked down as he left for a moment before I looked up to Joseph as he turned to me. "Thank you... Father." I whispered, slowly glancing back to Nick who looked heartbroken. I nodded my head slightly and he turned, leaving with Peaches by his side.   
I climbed into the helicopter with Joseph and his men. As I sat in my seat, I looked below, and I could see Nick looking up at us as I was taken away. My heart broke as I watched them, but my attention turned to Joseph who was holding my hands in comfort. I looked down at them slightly and out my window.

* * *

 

I looked below us as we approached a large plot of land. There was a big house, garden arch hallways leading to two green houses. There were garden patches of the Bliss flowers, sheds on either side of the lot presumably for gardening supplies of said flowers. In the center of the lot were two fire pits with chairs surrounding. The chopper landed on a dirt road leading up to the surrounding mountains behind us, and ahead of us was a garage. I looked up at the big two story house in confusion. When Joseph took me away I was expecting to go to one of those bunkers they keep for the Collapse, or to be handed off to one of the Seed siblings to be.. Conditioned. "My family and I bought this home to live in. We were not blessed with such things as children, and I felt my siblings deserved it.. We come here to see one another as a true family. To escape all that your Resistance is doing to take us down.. We have not let it effect our love as a family. We come together to remind ourselves what this is all for. To purge of our sins. In our own home." Joseph spoke as we stood outside of the chopper. "It's beautiful.." I spoke, and he smiled gently, "Come, I informed my siblings of your arrival, they have come to help you truly become one of us." I looked ahead as he lead me to the path to the front door, "Great.."

The Peggies were gone now, leaving Joseph and I alone to be given the company of his siblings.. This was an odd day. We stepped on the porch, and Joseph knocked softly on the door. Answering the door was Faith, she smiled at Joseph, and then to me. "Welcome home." She greeted, and I internally cringed. I looked behind her into the house, I could see crates of Bliss around the room, and pictures of the Seed family on the walls. The home was lit with a warm yellow tint of the lights over head. The walls were a evergreen color for the wallpaper with a brown and gold floral trim that looked like lotus flowers, the wallpaper was over dark wood paneling to about my hip level, the paneling matched the hardwood floor in color. There was a door leading to further into home, another door under the staircase leading to what was very likely a basement full of Bliss. Walking in there was another door straight ahead, to the right there was a small area that looked as though it were designed for a dinning room -- At least that's what I would have done with it if it were my home as the half hexagon of windows, but instead there were a few mattresses, likely for the Peggies who stayed here. 

I looked to Faith and Joseph as they walked ahead, passed the stairs, and Faith walked into the back room. I looked to Joseph who turned, waiting for me to join them. I hesitantly followed them, when I walked in Faith had gone to the stove where there was something boiling. The scent of spices and sauce filled my lungs as I looked to the Seed family before me. Joseph went to Faith, there were words spoken silent to me as he was helping her. John sat at the table with a notepad, it looked as though he were sketching something on the paper when he looked up to me and slowly closed the small book. Jacob was lent against the counter next to a door leading outside to the front yard, he had eyes on me before I even looked at him.. I had an odd feeling of being exposed under their gazes.. I looked down slightly, standing awkwardly in the door way as they continued to look at me. "My Child." Joseph spoke, and I slowly looked to him as he gestured me over, "Come, you are a part of our family now. Do not hide." He reassured, but the gaze on me from Jacob did not feel very family-friendly..

I stepped forward anyways, and went to Joseph. "We must make it official that you have joined us. There will be a ritual we will preform for you, you will be cleansed of your sins before the eyes of God." He spoke gently, cupping my cheek, "You will come with us, there is a stream just across the way.. We will purify your soul, and wash away your misdeeds.." I looked up at him, and nodded slightly, "Right.. Exciting.." I murmured and he gave a small smile, "It is, dear.. You will be bonded with our lord, saved and returned a new.." I nodded slightly as he let me go, turning to Faith, "I believe my sister has something more appropriate for the ritual you can wear.." I looked down at my clothes, I was wearing my white t shirt that read 'Trouble Maker' along with my black jean vest, I had small patches on it; An Atom Bomb that had the letter 'F' on it, a blue Asshole Merit Badge, a skeleton hand flipping the bird, my Rye and Sons patch, and one that was the Queen of Clubs card. Dirtied pale blue skinny jeans with straps for my .44 magnum revolver and bowie knife, finger-less black leather gloves and combat boots. I looked up to Faith as she gently stuck a loose strand of my nude blonde hair behind my ear. I looked into her doe green eyes as she traced my jawline with a soft smile. "I have just the dress for you."

I followed Faith as she held my hand and lead me up the steps. I stepped onto the large carpet laid out in front of the two doors in front of us, and looked at them as Faith lead me across the loft. There were desks with computers, thick binders and weapons, shelves of Bliss flowers, plastic packed Bliss in a way that made it look like a different kind of drug.. Buckets of what I presumed to be the liquid Bliss they put in water, or Bliss oil that I'm not sure how was used, but I imagine a heroin type of deal.. I looked back ahead as Faith opened the door to the room which she lead me into. I looked around and it was set up like a normal bedroom, it was actually nice. The bed was a large queen, with a midnight blue blanket, baby blue sheets, and teal pillows to go in a nice color pallet to match the evergreen walls. Across from the bed there was a wooden dresser that matched the flooring  with a mirror over it. A bookshelf tucked between the windows in the room, and to your immediate right was a large wardrobe that Faith was going through at the moment. "I know there's a closet, but it's so small that we use it for storage, besides," She spoke as she pulled out a long white gown, "this wardrobe is beautiful." She spoke pleasantly and laid the dress on the bed before going through it again. I walked over to the dress and looked at it, it was a boho styled maxi dress, the sleeves were long, and flared out at the elbow to be large and flow gently when you wore it. There were three white buttons that had small pink flowers painted onto them, said buttons were trailing down to an upside down, wide V shaped strip of see through lace mess under the chest. I picked up the dress, and held it up to my chest to see just how long it would be on my short 5'3'' self, it would brush just past my feet if I was wearing it. Faith stood in front of me with a smile. "Do you like it?" I looked up from the dress and nodded, and her smile widened, "Oh, Good!" She chuckled, "Put it on, I was just looking for a little special something, but it's not here -- I'll be right outside." She said before leaving the room.

I laid the dress back down on the bed and let out a soft sigh. I looked down at my clothes and began to strip, all of my clothes laid out on the bed as I replaced them with the gown. I stood as I looked down at myself and to my discarded clothing. I could feel dramatic irony radiating off my vest itself.. I practically was turning in my... Resistance uniform in exchange for Peggie gear.. I looked to the mirror and sighed at my messy hair wrapped up into a braid. There was a soft knock at the door, and I looked to it. "Faith..?" I called out, and she confirmed it was her, "Sit on the bed facing away from me, I've got a surprise." She spoke in a sing song voice. I complied and sat on the edge of the bed, looking out the window into the forest of the mountains as the door opened. I felt Faith crawl onto the bed behind me, she pulled my braid from over my shoulder and began to undo it. Once done, I could feel her gently grab the messy locks and brush from the ends of my hair up until my hair cascaded down my back in soft waves that tickled the bed with its length. Faith was humming softly to herself has she smoothed her hands over the locks. I could feel her twisting small sections of my hair into miniature braids, placed randomly every now and then to give the waves a bit more character. She hummed happily at her work as something was placed on top of my head. I looked up slightly as I inhaled, my vision became a bit more vivid, and hummed with a soft fuzziness. "Faith?" I spoke softly, "All done. You can look now." I glanced back at her and slowly stood as she climbed off the bed. She had made me a simple flower crown of Bliss flowers and Baby's Breath. I looked to Faith in the mirror as she smiled softly, "Pretty, isn't it?" She asked, and I looked back to myself in the mirror, "Yeah.. They're beautiful..."

I stood with Faith on the river bank as Joseph spoke, the Seed family was here of course, as well as their Peggies. Joseph was talking about sin, and salvation.. Preaching as always.. "My children... This young woman's presence here can only further prove the power of God's word. She is going to be saved in the eyes of the Lord." He turned to me with open arms, he wasn't wearing a shirt, but he  _was_ wearing a silk white stole with baby blue trim.. I stepped towards him slowly, feeling the damp Earth under my bare feet as I made my way to him. "She has seeked forgiveness, salvation, and atonement.. All of which she will be granted. She has turned herself over to us, and proves that no matter how far one has strayed from God.. You will never be lost to the path.. To the light He will provide you with, My children.." He looked to me with a gentle smile, "By the grace of God.. She is here with us. She was  _chosen_.. Just as I. She was hand picked by God himself, and she was brought to me.. Lead here through every action. Her soul seeking me out." Uhhh... "And she has finally found me. She has found where she belonged after all this time.." All the Peggies held onto every word he spoke as if it were the most wonderful thing they had ever heard.. Me however, I was a bit antsy about the fact that Joseph seemed to think I was some kind of soul mate to him..

"Come.. Let me lead you into the new world.. Your new life will begin when you emerge.." I nodded slightly as he held my hand gently as he lead me into the water slowly. I carefully stepped in, I could feel my dress cling to the water, sinking down as it absorbed the liquid, traveling up as I walked further in until I was waist deep in the river. Joseph turned me with a gentle touch to look towards the crowd, and I looked at them all as they watched.. John had an odd look in his eye as he watched, I know he followed Joseph loyally, but I also know he would want me to.. Atone in his way... Faith stood close to John, holding my flower crown, and she simply seemed gleeful that I was 'accepting the Father into my heart' as she called it.. Jacob stood apart from the crowd, and looked as though he thought this was all ridiculous. He's the only one I didn't find unnerving to agree with. He didn't believe in any of this, did he? I looked to Joseph as he stepped slightly in front of me. "Are you ready, Child?" He asked, and I nodded slowly. "Yes, Father.." I muttered and he gave a gentle smile as he moved his hand in the water to rest on the small of my back, the other placed below the center of my collar bone. His hold on me was caring, but if I had decided not to go through with this.. Would he force me under? I watched as his men poured Bliss containers into the water, and I chewed on my lip. Goosebumps crawled over my skin, part because of the ice cold water, and the other in fear of what the shit would do to my head in the long term.. Was I gonna turn into a damn Angel?

Joseph gave a soft push on my chest and back, and I looked to him. "Trust me, Child." He reassured, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think I could.. I nodded and took a deep breath before letting my legs fall lax. I felt myself float off the Earth of the river bank to slip under the water at Joseph's guidance. I closed my eyes as I began to submerge into the water. My hair floated around me in a way that felt as though time had slowed.. The strands twirled around me, twisting around my form. Tickling my cheeks as some of the braids unraveled in the gentle pull of the current. I felt as light as a feather as I floated in the water, the dress clung to me as it rose upwards to surface. Joseph's hand moved and slowly made its way to my hip before he pulled me up. I gave a soft gasp as I broke from the surface. Everything was so.. slow.. My vision had a light fog clouding it as I looked around. I closed my eyes as I let in slow, deep breaths. It was all too vivid.. The colors of the world around me were too bright to be their own.. To be their true color. 

My dress clung to me, tight and heavy, pulling me down like anchor due to how light I felt.. I felt as though if I shed the dress I would drift away into the big blue sky.. "Can you see now, My dear child?" Joseph asked, his voice was echoing, distant as if he were far off from me despite him being at my side.. Holding me in his arms, yet he sounded like he were on the opposite side of the river. "Can you see the lies that have stolen your sight? See the Bliss.. It is a serum that shows you the truth.." He spoke, and I looked around in my hazed state. I inhaled deeply, my body tingled all over, everything felt fuzzy, and warm. "Because you have been lost in the glow of your screens.. False highs of consumerism, indifferent of the suffering of all the souls around you." There was a low hum and ring in my ears as he spoke, "But I will grasp your sin, with a true hand and tear it from your bones.." He spoke, and he held me by the cheeks, causing my gazed to focus on only him.. "And I will return you to the angel you once were.." He said in a low voice, "The Greed of this world has blinded you..But I will show you the way, My Child.." He said as he leaned his forehead on mine. "I will guide you into Eden's Gate.. And we will all march their together as a family."

 


	2. The Time of Conversion

"Ellie~." A voice broke through my sleepy haze, I furrowed my brows and slowly sat up in my bed. I looked around, nope. Still here... "I'll be out in a minute, Faith." I called out as I slipped from my bed towards my dresser. I was living in what the cult called the Jessop Conservatory, which I assumed was named after Faith as Rachel Jessop was her real name. I sighed as I looked at the clothes in the drawers. I was never going to get used to this.. I pulled out a black t shirt that had the red P.E.G. symbol in the center, along with my pale blue skinny jeans but didn't bother clipping my holsters on. Joseph wanted to keep me here until I  _truly_ proved myself to the Cult.. Till then, I stayed here helping with the Bliss garden, cooking, and laundry.. I came out after I laced up my red high top converse to meet Faith outside my door. I smiled in greeting before following her lead down stairs. "Today instead of making breakfast, Father wishes to see you." She said, and I looked to her, "I have one of the others cooking, you just worry about going to Father. He'll be waiting for you by the fire pits." She smiled, and I nodded before heading outside on my own. The Family came here every weekend to see each other, I usually helped Faith cook them all a big dinner and at times dessert. It used to be a different woman who helped do so, but Faith said that I was a better cook.. The woman did not appreciate her place being taken.

"Father." I greeted as I walked to the fire pit, Joseph looked up from his book with a smile. "Ah, My Child. It is nice to see you, please, sit." I took my place beside him on the outdoor couch that was in front of the fire. "To what do we owe the pleasure of you visiting early?" I asked as I looked down at the book he'd been reading; The Book of Joseph, of course.. "Ah, I'm only here for you, My dear girl." He smiled, and I nodded with a faux laugh, "Than to what do  _I_ owe the pleasure?" He chuckled faintly, and placed his hand over mine, "You have been doing your part here, and Faith tells me that you are adjusting well." He started, and I nodded, "It's been a little difficult, your people still don't trust me." I commented, and he nodded gently, "They are your people now too, and they will adjust in due time." He reassured, and I smiled faintly. I figured the easiest way to get by was to play nice, pretend I was really trying, really wanted to commit to them and fit in.. It was so odd, I felt like I wasn't myself anymore, that I couldn't be. "The reason I have come here is simple. You have shown that you are willing to be come a true part of our family." Joseph started, "Throughout the week I will have you taken to each of my siblings." I felt unease settling in the pit of my stomach at this, "You will undergo each of their forms of atonement." He explained, and I nodded, "Right.. So John is gonna cut my flesh off of my body and staple it to walls.." Joseph looked down slightly at his scars, tracing the one on his wrist that read  _WRATH,_ "Not necessarily.. John can be extreme, that is true, but that is not the only way. You can do as I and display it on your body as a constant reminder. You will confess your past sins to John, and you will wear your sins as a part of you." He spoke, and I felt goosebumps rolling over my skin. "With Faith you will have you preform a display of just how dedicated you are to the family.." He hummed, and I furrowed my brows, "You have done it before, you could do it again.. Take that leap of faith.." He spoke, my face fell slightly at this. I had every intention on blowing that damn statue up when I got here... "We will save Jacob's for last.. He has a more prolonged way of you showing dedication." "Tell him he's not allowed to use that damn music box." The words flew out of my mouth before I could think, and I bit my lip slightly, "Sorry, Father... Just, I hate losing control like that.." Joseph nodded softly, "It is alright, Child.. If you are willing to undergo my brother's training, I will ask that he puts his classical conditioning aside." I nodded slightly, "Thank you.." He smiled gently, "Of course."

"I know it can be quite frightening.." Joseph started as he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear, "But we are here to help you, to guide you into the light, show you the path.. So that when the time comes for the Collapse, you will not be left to burn.." I looked down as he spoke, I was in for a hell of a time here.. "Can you promise me something?" I asked, and he looked into my eyes, awaiting my proposition. "If I prove myself to be dedicated to you. If I make it through the atonement and training... Promise me you'll change.." I muttered, and he furrowed his brows slightly, "The way you have handled this.. You don't have to, your men have kidnapped and killed people for not joining you.. But you don't need to, it makes no sense. God tells you everything you must do to prepare for the Collapse, yes?" He nodded in confirmation, "Then.. Try a better approach. If God wants you to build bunkers, and bring people there to save them -- Then do it, but don't force people to join.. Let them join of their own free will, if they don't want to, then you are wasting space that could be saved for those who  _do_." I looked up into his blue eyes, and I could see the understanding in them. "People are scared of you, they think you're crazy because of all the death surrounding the Project.. I was one of them until I understood.." I muttered softly, and looked into the fire, "But I see now, and so will others if you only asked.. Not forced them into joining." I looked back to him, "If you came to me before all of this, and you told me what you stood for, what you believed.. Even I would have agreed that it makes sense.. But your people tried to kill me, they kidnapped and tortured my friends..." I sighed, "But if I'd never had to arrest you, if your people stayed in better control.. If you'd come to me, told me all about Eden's Gate.. I may have thought you were a bit nuts.." I chuckled faintly, "But I would have agreed.." Joseph let out a hum at this, "Then that is what we shall do, My Child.. It will take time, but we will try to help those who wish to be helped."

* * *

 I wanted to get John's "atonement" out of the way before I go jumping off cliffs and shit.. Joseph had one of the Peggie women flying me out. She was a sweet girl, her name was Lucille, she had short brown wavy hair, big green eyes, freckles across her cheeks, and a genuine smile. She joined the Cult in the beginning, she still believed in everything they were. She didn't agree with the violence, but she supported the Father. I'm not sure if it's genuine or if she's been drugged out on the Bliss.. Either way, she was comforting to be around. She had a sort of purity surrounding her that put me at ease to be with. "Here you are, Miss. Ellie." She beamed brightly, and I smiled to her, "Thanks, Lilly.. I'll see you tonight." She gave a gentle, reassuring smile, "You'll be okay, John seems scary, but he's a big ol' teddy bear deep down." I chuckled at the thought, "Yes, a teddy bear full of love and malice." She chuckled softly, "You just have to get to know them all, trust me." I looked at her for a long moment before nodding, "Sure.. You stay safe, Lilly." She smiled, "Always."

I stepped out in front of John's bunker.. Last time I was here I was drugged and went on a frenzy of tearing Peggies and Angels to pieces because John believed my sin was Wrath.. I looked up as the chopper took off over head, and watched as it descended into the distance before it was just a mute dot. "Deputy." John's voice came, and I turned to meet his blue gaze. I let out a flat chuckle as I stepped forward, "I don't think I hold that title any more. Joining the Project? Yeah, I'd say I've been removed from my position on the force, effective immediately." John hummed as he approached me, "Then follow me, Doll." I rose my eyebrow at the pet name, but followed him into the bunker anyways. John lead me down the halls I once fled from back to the room I'd escaped. No coincidence, I'm sure he was proving a point. Though I couldn't tell if it was to me, or himself. When he opened the door, he let it ease open with a push before stepping aside for me to go in first. I walked ahead and waited for him in the middle of the room. He set a metal chair down, and I looked to it with a raised brow. "Changed your little torture chairs, I see." He chuckled, "Well, rolling chairs were an obvious flaw, and wooden chairs would break too easily if you tried." I nodded, "Of course, can't make it too easy on your victims." I muttered, and he glared, "I thought you wanted to atone. Or do I need to tell the Father that you have decided otherwise?" I rolled my eyes as I plopped down on the uncomfortable chair that reminded me of the ones in my high school. "You're going to carve words into my flesh and force me to tell you all my dirty little secrets, John. I'm not exactly looking forward to you knowing all that." 

"Don't worry too much. Joseph has guided me back into the light.. You angered me when you destroyed my sign, and I let my sin consume me.. I won't be doing so again, don't you worry." I looked up at him, and nodded slowly, crossing my legs as I spoke, "So, Johnny Appleseed. You gonna cuff me? Or are we skipping the foreplay?" He chuckled slightly, shaking his head at my words. "If you keep still, I won't have to -- But if you'd like them, I'd be happy to oblige." I rolled my eyes slightly as I shook my head, "I think I can keep my cool. Unlike you." He glared slightly, but he kept a ghosting smile on his face, "Let's begin, Deputy." I sighed slightly but nodded, "Still going on my chest? Feel like it's too difficult for  _me_ to look down and remember." He hummed, "We can use your arms, or legs if you're comfortable exposing them." I looked down at my legs and shrugged slightly, "I'm fine with either, maybe you should decide after I tell you every sin. I might not _just_  be Wrath." He nodded as he leaned on his little work bench, "Feel free to begin at any time." I sighed, looking off to the side, "How? Just start talking about little things I did as a kid, like pushing some little shit down?" 

"Not necessarily, let's start from the littlest things to the worst sins you've committed." I nodded, "Right.. Well, as a kid I was pretty good.. I didn't really do much of anything wrong, the worst thing I'd ever do was eat too many cookies.." I sort of rambled, sighing before I looked up to the ceiling. "Dig deep, Ellie." John edged on, and I nodded, "Fine.. The first time I remember my little sins, I was 14.. I was living in a children's home, the couple who was running their little.. Foster home claimed to be doing "God's work"... Giving us a home, the love we needed.. But they were so full of shit. I used to shop lift because they never fed us, I mean sure they gave us scraps, but what's that to 10 kids sharing?" I sighed, "Anyways.. I did it so I could survive, but it was still stealing, and that's a sin." I said shrugging, "I don't know if me shop lifting so I could eat as a kid counts as greedy but.." I chuckled slightly, "Any who.. I suppose to explain my next sins I should share something.. Personal with you.." I muttered, and John walked in front of me, pulling a chair from behind his little work bench to sit in front of me. "There's nothing you can't tell me, it's just you and I here." I sighed slowly and nodded, "I haven't told anyone this stuff since I was a kid because.. I was always brushed off, people called me a liar.. Said I was just looking for attention.." I muttered, "When I was born, my mom had postpartum hemorrhaging.. Which ya know, is when she keeps bleeding after I come out, and it won't stop.. She died, and my dad always blamed me. He abused me in every way.. First just verbally, then mentally, eventually it became physical, and by time I started... Growing; Sexually.. I hit puberty a lot earlier than girls my age, I had.. _Developed_ when I was nine.." I let out a slow breath as I spoke, and fiddled with my pants, "Anyways, because of him, I felt like... My "purity" was already lost, why bother caring about that shit.. So, I started having sex when I was 15, and it was with... Well, anyone who didn't treat me like I was worth less than the dirt under their boots."

I looked up to John, he was listening intently to my every word. He sat forward in his seat as he listened, fingers entangled, elbows resting on his thighs. He had a sort of sad look in his eye, not one of sympathy but.. Understanding. "I slept around, and that meant people knew me as the girl who was... 'easy', which lead to times when I was with someone.. But I didn't want to be, and I was.. too scared, I'd been taught to be quiet about it. So, I let them do it, and I kept doing it to myself until I got out of that shitty place in my life, and got better.." I sighed, "But that wasn't until later in my life, and I still give into those old habits. I'll keep going unless that little bit gave you a uh... Sin diagnosis." I spoke, and he sat back in his chair, "You said you still do these things, giving into the temptation.. That would be Lust, yes." I nodded as I looked down, "So, you think an appropriate place would be..." I trailed off as I smoothed my hand over my thigh and parted my legs slightly, "Here?" John looked at my hands and slowly let in a breath, I looked up to him, "I was kind of hoping not to mark up my chest, cause I'm kind of fond of it.." I chuckled slightly, "Plus, there's plenty of damage there. You've already heard the darkest parts of my abuse.. Seeing my thighs doesn't bother me as much as that." I shrugged, "Ah.. Yes, we can do it there, you can talk through it if you'd like." I nodded and stood up to undo my pants, and John looked away as I did so before getting up. I smiled so faintly it was almost non existent, I pulled them down just to my knees and sat back down. "Go for it, Johnny boy." I said, and he scooted forward with a scalpel.

There were scars all over my thighs already, I was used to cuts there. "I had hated my body as a kid, tried to make it ugly so people would stop.. Stop hurting me." I let in a deep breath as I felt the cool metal on my skin. "Now.. You talked about little to big sins.. How about this.." I chuckled, "I was a good person, I just was self destructive. I lied, sure. But for the most part, I was very genuine, and I didn't need much or even want much because I'd never had anything.. But I've been killing without a thought since the day I tried to arrest your brother.." I hissed slightly as he cut deeper Before that, I'd never really had to, nothing really happened after I go out of that life.. I was adopted by a  _really_ good couple when I was 16." I chuckled, "My mom.. She was the first person to believe me about my father.. My dad, he was much more kind, most he ever did was ground me." I chuckled, "But when it came to my father, he made my life hell for the things I did.. My dad, if I broke a glass, he would make sure I was okay and joke about how maybe I should use plastic cups.." I chuckled, my brow twitching as the blade slid over my leg, "My father? I broke a glass.. and oh was I in for it. I was a selfish, careless, _ungrateful_ brat.. I would get beaten until I couldn't move, I just kind of.. Laid there, there was one night where I just slept in the kitchen afterwards.." I looked up to John as he finished the cuts. "But here's the real kicker.." I started,

"The big sin I committed?" I hummed, "My father died in a drunken car accident.. He had picked me up from my friends house after I ran away, I was lucky that I got out of it alive. But what no one knows is that.. It wasn't an accident, I grabbed that steering wheel, and I yanked it to the side, and I ran us off that rode into a barrel roll.. I didn't care if I lived or died, I just wanted it to stop.. My situation with him did, of course.. But I still went into that home.." I sighed, and leaned back in my chair as John smoothed a bandage over my cuts. "That's my biggest sin, I murdered my father." I said as I pulled up my pants, and lifted my shirt up just below my bra to expose my stomach, "I don't mind it here." John looked up at me, and started cutting into my flesh. I was a little more sensitive on my stomach, and tried not to flinch, or twitch as much as I could. When he was done, he bandaged it up, and I dropped my shirt. "That it?" I asked as he stood, "If those are all the sins you have to confess." I nodded, "Pretty much, I killed my abusive daddy and then I was a slut." I shrugged, "Bout sums up my childhood. As for adulthood.. Still a bit of a slut, only now I kill strangers." I hummed, "Well, _killed_ , not anymore of course." I shrugged, "You have atoned. The Father will be pleased with you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short chapter, the next may be too ;p but I promise after that I'll go back to my 4,000+ words a chapter average lol


	3. Eden's Gate Pilgrimage

I waved Lilly off as she dropped me off on a path that lead up to where Joseph's statue was. I sighed as I thought over what was happening, Faith was having me jump off the damn thing, again. I looked up as I approached some cabins, "Hello, sister." Faith greeted with a smile, and I gently smiled back, "Hey.. So, how come you had Lilly drop me off so far from the actual statue?" I asked, and Faith walked over to grab my hands with a smile, "Can I show you something?" I rose an eye brow, "Uh, of course, what is it?" She hummed as she turned to face ahead, but kept one of my hands. "I'm sure in the time you've been here, you've heard about Eden's Path, yes?" I nodded, "Sure, everyone always talks about walking it. Never seen anything though, I just figured it was a metaphor." She smiled, "No, it's real.. I'd like to show you the Path." She said as she stopped in front of a plaque in the ground, I glanced to her before I read it. ' **I. The** **Call** ; **Joseph Seed hears the Voice. It calls on him to become a leader, to give hope to wayward souls.** ' "I want to show you his story.. For you to walk the path, before you prove that you have faith in us.. You have to know what you're putting your faith in." She smiled as she lead on, We traveled around the mountain, following the curves that wrapped around the Earth. Bliss petals all along the way, their cross was scattered across the path at times to lead the way. There were other Peggies with us as we crossed the old bridge, "Sometimes people lose their way.. They re-walk the path to remember who they are. Why they're here." I looked to Faith, she only had a few inches on me being 5'5'' while I was 5'3''. 

There were more of the smaller crosses on little steaks in the ground indicating another plaque, I looked down as we got there, **II. The Cleansing** ; "Joseph Seed affirms his obedience to the Voice by cleansing himself with his own two hands, becoming born again." I read, and Faith smiled before she tugged my hand gently to lead on, As we walked along the trail, I looked around the mountains. I had never really had any time to just... Admire the beauty here. I glanced over at Faith as she began to softly hum a familiar tune; Amazing Grace. I looked ahead as I listened to her, "That saved... a wretch.. Like me." I chimed into her humming with a soft voice, Faith turned to me with a gentle smile, "I once was lost.. But now, I'm found." She sang, and looked ahead with me as we walked, continuing to sing together until we reached the next plaque.  **III. The Father** ; "Joseph Seed's message reaches the ears of his first true followers. They soon begin to call him their Father because of his great wisdom, and guidance." I read as Faith hummed softly before walking ahead, "The Father wishes to help you. Help everyone here, and I know you're skeptical, I know you still don't trust us." She said, "I know it's scary.. I was only 17 when Father found me, I was lost.. And he's the one who  _found_ me." She smiled, taking my hand again, "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here anymore. He is everything to me.. My new family is everything to me.. They could be that for you too. If you only believed." I looked down slightly as we walked.

 **IV. The Revelation** ; "The Voice reveals the coming Collapse, and the true purposed of Joseph's ministry: To save our souls from destruction and guide them to Eden's Gate." Faith stood across from me on the other side of the plaque, "The Father will tell you about this all, that he has built these bunkers of ours for people to be _saved_. The world is coming to an end, Deputy.. And he was chosen to protect all of us. He has been through such hardship in his life. He knows so many others have too.. His brothers, myself, his followers...  _You._ " She said and my eyebrows twitched slightly, "I thought John couldn't talk about the confessions." She looked confused and I looked away, "No.. Ellie, I can see it." She started, stepping over the stone to hold my hands in hers, "That look in your eyes... I know it too well, I know you've been through so much in your life, and because of that.. I know that you need this, you need us. The love we will give you. There is nothing we wouldn't do for you once you are a part of this family. We will love you, we will be here for you every step of the way to Eden's Gate. Always."

 **V. The Family** ; "Joseph Seed collects his blood family -- John, Jacob, and Faith. He anoints them as his Heralds so that they way help guide the growing family of believers." I looked to Faith, "We are a family. Joseph is our Father.. He saved me at my darkest hour, I was... So scared in the beginning, but he showed me the light, he showed me the Path.. He has guided me through this mountain like I am with you now. I can only hope that you will take it to heart, and understand.. That we are in this together."  
 **VI. The Snakes** ; "Joseph Seed is forced to defend his family from traitors and the unbelievers they bring to Eden's Gate." Faith read, and looked to me, "In the beginning.. There were many people who joined us, and some changed their minds.. They called the Father crazy.. Said he was a mad man, a.. a _lunatic._ " She sighed, "Some simply left, others tried to hurt us.. Hurt the Father. We had to get rid of them.. It was a scary time, but we made it through, stronger than ever because we were shown the true believers. Our true family and loved ones who would stick by us until the day of the Collapse."

 **VII. The Homecoming** ; "The Voice guides the Father to bring his disciples to Hope, the place destined to be our New Garden after the Collapse." I read and Faith sighed, "It took us so long to find our way here, but it was all worth it to finally find where our home was destined to be." She hummed as she looked up to the setting sun, "We have a bit of a ways to go, we should keep going before it gets too dark."  
 **VIII. The Message** ; "The Father and his Heralds begin to share their message with the people of Hope, offering the salvation from the Collapse." Faith sighed at this, "We were all called crazy.. There were of course many people who joined us, you've seen how many who have joined us.. But still, in the beginning we were cast aside, we tried to join their community, we came to events and gatherings. We would invite them to join us.. But they always refused, slowly our family grew.. But so did the hate towards our family.."

 **IX. The Sacrament** ; "The Bliss was gifted to disciples who are full of fear and doubt, elevating thm to Angels who can better help prepare for the Collapse." Faith hummed, "I remember when Father asked me to help find a way to ease our followers minds. They were all scared of what the people would say or do after they joined.. They would abandon our family because of them... So I created the Bliss to put their minds at ease, to remember the Path."  
 **X. The Threshold** ; "The Father prophesies that the coming of a White Horse is the signal that the Collapse is near." Faith looked up at me, "That was you, Deputy. You were our White Horse. You were what the Father had been waiting for.. You showed him: The Collapse is coming, and we need to be ready.. We need to save more people than ever.You were brought here, and in the beginning you were off the path given to you.. But you're here now. That's what matters now."

 **XI. The Reaping** ; "Chaos swallows the Garden as the First Seal is broken. The heretics fight against the Family as we collect our final harvest of souls and material goods." I remembered when the helicopter crashed, and Joseph shouted to 'begin the reaping'.. "We have been trying to gather all the goods we could ever need to stay in the bunkers, to stay safe until we are ready to leave." Faith said, and I remembered every Prepper Stash I'd been to being swarmed by Peggies, trying to take the gear for their Collapse.  
 **XII. The Collapse** ; "The Seals are opened and fire cleanses the Earth. In the Gates, our Family waits." I looked up at the darkening sky as I listened to Faith, "Father has built us bunkers.. We will stay in them as a family, and we will save as many as we can from the Wrath of God.. If we don't, nobody will, because people don't believe it. But we know. The Father  _knows_. He will save us, and when the Collapse comes, the ones who turned us away.. The ones who called us crazy, lunatics, psychos..." She sighed and looked up, "They will be sorry. They will come  _running_ to the doors of those bunkers, but it will be too late."

 **XIII. The Garden** ; "After seven years, the Gates are opened to a changed world, and the Father's Chosen inherit our New Garden." Faith smiled, "When all is said and done, we will emerge in the new world. The slate will be wiped clean side from those of us who just  _believed_." She hummed, "And when we walk out those doors we will begin again, a world for us.. God's last children, his  _chosen_ children who will remake this Earth into what it  _should_ have been." She looked into my eyes, cupping my cheeks as she smiled, "And you will be a part of that.. The Father, he is forgiving of everything.. John, he understands your pain, and he knows the love you need. I will love you with my whole being, you are my sister now." She smiled, rubbing my hand, "And Jacob.. He's a bit harder to get to.. Care, he will care for you but it's hard for him to trust anyone. He'd never admit it, but I know that he's scared.. Of the hurt? The rejection? Of the pain that could come with you not feeling that way.. Who knows, but the truth is; He wants to be loved, and he wants to be able to love." She smiled, "Same as the rest of our family, only he won't show he cares about any of it." She chuckled, and I gave a gentle smile. "There is one last thing for you to read.." She said, "The final step of the Path." I looked up to the statue of Joseph with her and let out a slow breath. "Then show it to me.." I muttered, and Faith turned to a Peggie who approached with a bottle, "Drink this.. It will help guide you, to show you that you can have faith."

And here I was.. Once again I was standing on this concrete book. I looked across the stone paged and chuckled slightly, "Chapter fourteen... The Prophecy." I muttered and Faith's voice came from around me, echoing in my Bliss filled mind.  "Let your Faith be your guide. Leap. Accept the Word of the Father into your heart." I stood here the same as before, only this time when I jump.. It means so much more than getting away from Faith.. It was another piece of the puzzle fitting me into this... Family. I walked forward slowly, stepping near the edge, "Accept the love of your new _family_ into your heart." She spoke, and I let in a deep breath as I stood over the end of the Book, looking out at the mountains and down at the ground. I turned around as my crippling fear of heights made me nearly vomit at the sight. I looked up at Joseph's face crafted out of the cement. I closed my eyes as I let in a deep breath before I stepped back, allowing myself to slip off the edge and go hurtling towards the ground.

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a bed. The silky soft sheets under me were a comfort rather than a dead body like before.. I sat up in the bed and looked over myself; I was perfectly fine. I slipped out of the bed and chose to ignore the fact that I'd been changed. Brushing it off as Faith before I redressed myself in my black Peggie tank top that had a red P.E.G. cross on my left hip, a pair of black jeans and my red converse again. I sighed as I looked at my tired blue-green hazel eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them before tying my wild locks into a pony tail. I walked out the door and gasped as I stepped right into someone's chest. I looked up to meet a pair of sharp blue eyes and cleared my throat as I moved back into my room to give some space between us. "Um.. Hey, Jacob.." I greeted lamely, and he let out a slight grunt. "Okay.. Good talk." I muttered as I went to walk around you. "Wait." Jacob said and I stopped, looking back at him. "Before you go running off anywhere, my brother wants to see you." I nodded, "Okay.." I said, and before I left I turned to him, "Wait.. Why are you here?" He slowly stepped forward to go to me, "That's right, you've been on a Bliss trip.. It's Friday." I rose my eyebrows, "But.. It was just Wednesday.." I muttered dumbly, I bit my lip once I realized what I said. "Wow.. Um, okay well.. I didn't, I mean -- Where's Joseph.." I sighed, Jacob had his arms crossed over his broad chest, and he had an amused look in his eye. "He's in his room." I nodded before walking straight ahead. I knocked on the door with my eyes closed as Jacob went back down stairs. 

"Enter." Joseph's voice came and I walked into the room. He had a simple set up, a bed with a soft green bed spread, an end table on his chosen side of the bed presumably. All his clothes were in the small closet off to the right of the room, which just left a desk pushed up against the left wall under the window. This is where Joseph sat, scribbling in his book about whatever it was he.. Scribbled about. "Joseph.." I said before correcting myself, "Ah- Father, you wanted to see me?" I asked, and he looked back to me before smiling, "So, you  _are_ awake." He chuckled, closing his book, "I thought I heard you moving around from down stairs, I sent Jacob to check on you while I.." He trailed off as he held up his book. I smiled softly and nodded, "I'm awake, is there anything you needed before I helped with dinner?" He shook his head, "Don't worry about dinner, Lilly is helping Faith. I wanted to speak with you about something, yes. Come, sit." He gestured me in, and I obeyed, walking into the room, closing the door behind me. I took a seat on his bed and he remained in his chair with a smile, "So.. You have walked the Path." I nodded, "I did, yes.." He chuckled faintly, I could tell he was pleased with this, "Ah, my dear Child.. I am happy that you are accepting the Family into your heart." I smiled softly at this, he genuinely meant it too..

"You still must train with Jacob, but I believe that you are more than capable of doing so." He nodded, and glanced to his book, "There is one other thing.." I rose my eyebrows in a silent curiosity, "The Voice.." I nodded as he stood, moving to sit on the bed with me, "When I first learned of the Collapse, the sign would be the White Horse, you know this." I nodded, "You are the White Horse, but that does not mean it is a bad thing. You.. You could help the Family just as I have." I furrowed my brows slightly in confusion. "You were chosen by God to come here.. To find me. To find all of us." He started and took my hands, "My dear girl.. You are special. Hand picked by God himself and brought to me.. All paths you took lead you here no matter what you have done in the time we crashed in that helicopter to the moment you boarded mine.. You are forgiven, because God sent you on a trial. You have come to us, you have come to where you belong." He smiled, and I slowly nodded. "I know that you have still not fully accepted us into your heart.. I only wish I could do more to convince you, My Child..   _I_  was chosen by God..  _You_  were chosen by God. You are not here by chance.. It was fate for you to come to me." I shook my head, "Joseph.. I know you believe that.. I just don't. I am willing to become part of your family.. But I have been proven in my life that if God  _is_ real -- He hates me." Joseph shook his head as he gently cupped my cheek to look at him,

"My child.. You are... very special, you have endured so much. Helped so many. You are a wonderful, and perfect child of God." I chuckled and shook my head but didn't move away from his hold, "Let me show you your importance, let me show you that you  _do_  matter. You are important, special, chosen by God himself. Brought on to me." I sighed as he let go of my cheek, and looked into my eyes while holding my hand. "Stop running from your importance because you do not believe it.." There was a knock on the door and I looked at the ground as Joseph got up to answer the door. "Dinners ready, Father." Faith's voice chimed, and I stood up as he turned to me. I smiled to Faith and let her lead me out.. "After dinner, you will be leaving with Jacob to begin his training. As promised, there will be no music box when you are there. You will get stronger, prove that you can endure any hardship that may come our way." I nodded, "Of course, Father.."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots and Lots of Jacob stuff coming up


	4. Cull the Herd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We will begin our training with Jacob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lame school girl crush ahead.

Jacob was leading me down the halls of the Vet. Center, his men were boring holes into me. There were a bunch of rooms everywhere, and everyone seemed to have their own. I stepped closer to Jacob as we walked, looking down as he lead me. I stopped with Jacob as he stood in front of a door, "This will be your room while you're here." Jacob said, turning to me, "You will be waking up every morning at 4 a.m., you will be ready by 5:30 for your physical training. 6:30 is breakfast, 8:30 you will return to your training until noon where you will have lunch. You will have one hour until you get back to training, then you will go until 5, and have dinner. I will come to check in on your training, and I will be there to correct you until we turn in for the night at 9 o' clock, then it's lights out and repeat." Jacob explained, and I simply listened to him, nodding in understanding as he spoke. "Any questions?" He asked, and I cleared my throat slightly, "Where's the bathroom?" He turned to the door and gestured with a nod, "There is one in your room. You can shower there, brush your teeth with the new toothbrush provided in your room, and any thing you will need is already in there." I nodded as I looked to the door, and back to him as he towered over me. "Anything else?" I shook my head. "Good. It is nearly time for lunch, you will eat and join the rest outside. I will see you at 6." He said before leaving, I looked to the door of my new room and went in.

I looked around, it was a simple set up, but better than I expected. I'd never really seen the inside of the Vet. Center, but I imagined the place like some sort of boot camp; Which it really was. Along with the boot camp training though, I had imagined boot camp living.. Where there's a large room with bunk beds and everyone sleeps there. But I suppose this wasn't an actual boot camp center. It was more of a retirement home of sorts, specific to veterans to come after going to war, I suppose. I never paid attention to places like this because I didn't know anyone who was a veteran. The room did have the same vibe as the grouped rooms though. It had a plain grey bed, a desk, a small closet, a dresser, and that was really it. The bathroom was in the back right corner of the room beside the bed, which I suppose made sense. This was a place made for veterans, likely to be disabled, or elderly at this point.. Or both. As I looked around I couldn't help but think of what they had to have done to the men and women who were here before them...

I didn't stay in the room too long, it was almost 12:30 which meant I had a half hour to eat before I started training. After eating I followed everyone out to the back of the building for the training. I had my hair tied up in a tight bun to keep my long hair out of the way. I wore a plain black t shirt, along with my blue cargo pants from when I first met Dutch, tucked into my black boots. It seemed like fitting clothes to be wearing for a boot camp.. We started with a run around a trail that had been made in the woods. There was a Peggie who acted as drill sergeant since Jacob wasn't here, he yelled at us to push on, and I assumed he was someone who had proven himself to the eldest Seed. He ran our laps along side us, slowing down every now and again to yell at the people in the back. I was about in the middle, I wasn't as slow as the others, but not as fast as the rest. Just average, and to prove to Jacob that I was worthy of staying a part of the family; Average wouldn't cut it.

Four hours of continuous training was Hell, and I only came in at the middle of the day.. After this I got to eat, and then end the day with Jacob's watchful eye, but I will be in better condition than the rest because I started later. We did a lot of the typical training you see, there were obstacles set up at the end of our warm up run. The tire jumping, the wall climbing, the crawling, the whole bit. My muscles ached and my joints creaked as I made my way to the dining hall for dinner. All the food they give you was good for you, filling and gave you the energy to push on. Which was a good amount of meat, veggies, and eggs with water to drink. When I was done eating, I put my trey up, and noticed the chatter of the room go silent. I turned and saw Jacob walking in, I slowly eased myself back over to the cafeteria table I'd been seated in. I watched as Jacob walked down the line, watching over everyone in their seats. His gaze fell on me as he stopped, he let out a sigh as he looked at us. "At attention." He spoke calmly and everyone moved from their seats to stand. I was cemented in place, afraid to catch his eye to come and yell about whatever he sees fit.

My eyes widened as there was a snap against my scalp and my hair came tumbling over my shoulders. Jacob looked me dead in the eyes as fear washed over me. Slowly he came to the back of the room where I was, and everyone's gaze followed. "Solider." He let out and I turned to him, "Yes, Sir." I spoke strongly, and he moved his hand to my messy locks. Some of the strands had matted to my face with seat and dirt from the training. I looked up at him as he slipped his hand over my shoulder and pulled the locks forward. "You seem to have had an issue keeping your hair at bay." He commented and looked into my eyes, "Do you know why that's an issue?" I nodded, "Yes, Sir." I stated, and he hummed as he held my hair, "And? What is it?" I looked down at the strands, "It's a liability to my life, leaving me in a postilion to get my throat slit." I stated, and he hummed, "Very good. You should do something about it, you could get grabbed two feet away with this mess." He stated before walking away before I could respond. I let out a deep breath once he was out of ear shot and cursed my thick hair for snapping the tie.

I've been here almost two weeks now, I've made sure to stock up on a million hair ties, double wrapping the hair before I left my room in the morning. I know it's ridiculous to cling to the length, but it took me so long to grow it to the 22 inches I had. We were on our way back to our rooms after a night of training, I was getting more used to the painful process. I wasn't in as much pain as when I first got here. My body always had adapted quickly to things, with a childhood of little to no food, getting beaten, and taken advantage of; I'd learned to put up with the hunger pains, to forget the pulsing bruises and the sharp pains in between my legs. The training wasn't any different, I was already making my way to the top. Just before I went through my door, a familiar voice called out to me. I turned to Jacob, and looked up at him as he approached. "What do you need, Sir?" I asked as he stopped in front of me, "I'm going to see my brothers and sister tomorrow as usual." He spoke, and I nodded, "Oh yeah, I forgot it was friday.." I muttered as I looked down, "My brother wants you to come. He says he wants to check in on you." I nodded, "If it's alright with you for me to miss my training." I said and he let a low chuckle out, "Smart answer. He'd love it if you came, and I'll get shit if you don't." I chuckled this time and nodded, "Alright, I'd love to come." He nodded, "After everyone eats breakfast, you come back to your room and dress normally. I'll pick you up." I nodded, "Goodnight, Jacob."

I put my tray up, and slipped into the halls to go back to my room. I had eaten fast so I had time to take a quick shower before I got dressed. I dried and brushed my hair before I pulled on my skinny jeans again with a plain grey t shirt and my converse. As I stood up there was a faint knock, and I opened the door to Jacob. I greeted him and followed out the building. A lot of the Peggies didn't like me because I was given 'special treatment', living in the home where the Seed family spent their days together, eating with them, Joseph treating me like an equal power, leaving training with Jacob.. Yeah, a whole lot of people would kill to be me, and that's what I'm afraid of. They would literally kill me, but I'm always around them. Even here, Jacob pays extra attention to me when he checks up on us. Makes sure my stance is good, that I'm pushing myself, that I'm not taking it easy; He's even had me sparring with the strongest men and women here even though I've only just arrived. Worst yet, he's made comments about me sparring with him in the future.. I didn't see that going well.

I stepped off the chopper with Jacob and followed him into the Jessop Conservatory as he lead the way to the porch. John answered the door, and greeted Jacob with a nod, and me with a hug. After the confession, John had allowed himself to warm up to me quick, I had both Faith and John in my good graces, and of course Joseph thought the world of me because.. Of God. Jacob however, still acted cold. He wasn't a total ass to me anymore though. He has been praising me every time I have gotten better while training. He of course told me while I wasn't doing my best, and yelled until I pushed myself to do better. When I did, he always patted me on the back, and told me I did good. I had started to like the praise, it showed me that I was really making progress. Jacob doesn't give out his praise easily, he will make his comments when you improve; that very simple 'good.' or 'better.' But when he actually goes to more than one or two words; You know you're doing good. I want to prove that I'm worthy, I want to show that I am strong. Despite anything from the past, or my size, or that I'm a woman. I just.. He drives me to prove myself.

I had helped Faith cook, we were having mango chicken with red bell peppers, a sort of sweet and spicy thing going on with it. Along with broccoli for a side, and placed it on top of rice. I squeezed a lemon over them and sprinkled some chili powder before handing Faith two of the plates as Jacob walked in to refill his cup of water. He looked at me as I went to get the third plate, "You're gonna drop that." I looked at him, "No, I won't." I spoke stubbornly, and he sighed, grabbing the plate before I could protest he was walking to the table. I watched him as he set it down in front of John, and I smiled faintly. I walked in to give Faith her plate, and set Jacob's down before I scampered off to my side of the table to sit. I cut up my chicken as the family talked about their week, I took a sip of my tea when Joseph looked to me, "And my dear, how have you been since you left us?" He asked, and I set the cup down, clearing my throat, "I've been well, the training is a challenge but I like it." I chuckled, "I think I'm getting much better.." I said and looked over to Jacob for approval, and he nodded. I smiled softly as I took a bite, "You'll be at the top before you know it!" Faith beamed, and I chuckled, "Hoping so, I'm aiming for it." Joseph smiled and gave a gentle nod. John was assuring me that I'd get there along side Faith. Jacob didn't talk, but he gave me a nod that told me he agreed with the two.

My heart stuttered at the look in his eye, he was sure that I would.. Proud even? That's when it hit me.. At some point in the time that I've been here, my smiles became genuine, my laughs were not forced, and the way I was acting became.. A reality. I wanted to join them to protect my friends, my... my family in Fall's End. Nick, Kim, and baby Beth. They were why I came here, but now.. _You just have to get to know them all, trust me._ Lilly's voice echoed in my head as I watched the Family. They accepted me so easily, forgave me for all that I had done, and now that I am proving that I am devoted, they treat me like family. Inviting me to their family dinner.. It meant so much to them to see one another over the weekend.. To come together in a home that they deserved.. I looked to Joseph, and he read the look in my eye with ease. He held my hand gently as Faith and John spoke to one another with Jacob chiming in every now and then with a snarky comment or two. I looked into Joseph's eyes as he squeezed my hand gently with a smile. "You're home now, dear."

I stood in my room, staring at myself in the mirror dressed in my silk night gown, it was dark blue with purple and baby blue butterflies, pale blue lace trailed over my chest to a purple bow in the center. I had a silk pastel blue robe to match. Faith had given me it, when I first got here. When did I change? When had I become so devoted..? The mornings of cooking with Faith? The afternoons of gardening with Lilly? The Confession? John had believed me.. He didn't question me once, just.. Believed. Had it been when Joseph told me I was meant to be here? That I was like him, and destined for great things? Or was it when Jacob first praised me, showing me that I was truly accepted here..? How could I let this happen.. How could I trust this family. They have killed innocent people. Kidnapped people, drugged and brainwashed them. Hurt my friends, threatened their lives because they didn't want to join their cult. I turned around with a loud groan, rubbing my eyes. _I cared about these psychos._

I was snapped out of my thoughts at a crashing downstairs. I furrowed my brows. Everyone was asleep? Who the hell was down stairs.. There was another thud and I grabbed my bowie knife of the night stand and left my room. I made my way down the steps quickly, and quietly, I could feel my robe flowing smoothly with my movement.   
I saw a figure in the dark stumbling towards the kitchen, I jumped on the man's back and held the knife to his neck. Before I could speak I was flipped off of him and thrown to the ground. I felt the wind knock out of me but I rolled on the ground away from beneath him to jump up. The moon light illuminated his tall silhouette coming towards me, I punched across his jaw and dodged his punch to shove him on the ground; I caught him of guard and he stumbled down. I turned to flip the light on, and just as I did he swept my ankles with his foot sending me to the ground, I reached for my knife that clattered away from me but my wrist was pinned down. I struggled under the man as he grabbed my other arm. I wiggled beneath him, trying to put myself in a position to kick him off but before I did so, I looked up into familiar blue eyes.

"Jacob..?" I muttered and he looked down at me in confusion, "Hey there, Rabbit.. What the hell are you doing attacking me." He let out slowly before rolling off of me to plop onto the ground. I sat up rubbing my wrist and looking down at him, "Where were you?" I asked but by the smell of him, it was somewhere with a lot of alcohol. "I went to the bar.." I nodded, "And what? Drank it?" I said before standing up. He let out a chuckle as he set up, leg propped up to rest his elbow on his knee. "Come on, let's sober you up." I sighed, and held my hand out for him. He swatted it away, and I rolled my eyes slightly as I watched him stumble up to his feet. "No, That would ruin the whole purpose of drinking." He said, and I turned to him, "Well, I'm not dragging you back to bed" He shrugged as he swayed slightly, "It's just right there." He gestured to the pull out couch. "Just let me make you some coffee before you break something." I insisted as I walked into the kitchen, and he followed shortly after; But not calmly.

Jacob hit the door open sending it against the wall as he entered, I jumped and turned to him as he walked towards me, "And what the hell does it matter to you." He growled out, and I backed up with every step he took towards me, "Why would you even give a damn about me. I'm just some old piece of shit, it's not like you care. It's not like you care about any of us. Not really. You're just faking so I don't put a bullet between your friend's eyes." He said, backing me up until I hit the counter, "Jaco-" "No!" He barked and I gasped, gripping into the counter as I stood completely still.. " _Oh_ , but you act like it.. With that smile, that _laugh_.. You bat those little eye lashes like you're _so_ innocent." I looked away, my oxygen felt thin at the close proximity between us. "You don't give a _damn_ ; If you could walk away, you _would_. Don't fucking act like you wouldn't." He growled and I let out ragged breaths. "You're _no_ different than anyone else... So, stop bullshitting me, Kitten." He always called me some nickname to do with a small and or weak animal.. He looked down at me in silence, scanning over my face that probably read ' _scared shitless_ '...

"Jacob.." I muttered as he slowly tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You still haven't done anything about this damn hair.." He whispered to me, I was thrown off by the sudden calm in his voice. I took quick but silent breaths as I could feel Jacob's body heat radiating onto me with how close we were. "I like it.." I murmured as he trailed his finger along a lock of my hair, I looked down at his hand as he slowly moved over it, "Me too.." He muttered and stepped closer, pressing our bodies together. I gasped slightly as he did so, peering up at him with my big blue eyes, "Jacob..." He looked down at me, his pupils blown up making his blue eyes seem so much darker as he looked down at me. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as he tucked my hair back, his hands cold in comparison to the burning of my skin. I caught his scent in my lungs; side from the booze -- he smelt of pine, spice, gunpowder, and faint musk. I felt my lips part as he looked down at me, "Ellie.." He muttered and my breath hitched at the sound my name from his lips.. "I think I'll take that coffee now.." He whispered before moving away from me. I let out a deep breath of confused air as I looked to him. Jacob sat at the table and I cleared my throat before turning to the coffee pot.

I took out two mugs as it was already 4 am and at this point, I was so used to waking up anyways. I turned to Jacob as he stared out the window from the table, "Cream or sugar?" I asked, and he turned to me, "However you like it is fine with me." I nodded but knew that wouldn't be true. I poured some milk and put two spoons of sugar in before going to mine. I put three scoops of sugar and added the hazel nut creamer to mine. I stirred them both and put everything away before I came to sit at the table with him. I set his cup down and he nodded slightly as he sipped it. I hummed as I smelled mine before drinking from it. "Why were you out so late?" I asked him as I traced the rim of my cup. "Why were you up late enough to hear me?" He returned and I looked down, "Couldn't stay asleep." I shrugged and he looked over at me, "Yeah, well me either." He said and I nodded slightly, "Team insomnia.." I muttered as I sipped the coffee and he hummed in response.

"Why can't you sleep?" I asked, and he looked over with a long silence. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to pry, just thought it would help to get it off your chest." I murmured as I took another sip of my coffee. "I was thinking about my past." He answered vaguely, and I nodded, "I understand." I said, and looked to him, "Do you want to talk about it? Because I'll listen." I offered and he sighed at me, "I know you think I don't care, but I do, Jacob." I said, and he looked to me for a long moment, "Look, I'm just not that comfortable talking about it." I nodded in understanding, "You don't have to, but just know that if you want, I'm here." I said taking his hand, I looked down for a moment and slowly moved my hand away from his, "Sorry.." I muttered, "It's fine.. If we talk, you can't tell anyone about it." I chuckled and nodded slightly, "Promise, you probably won't even remember telling me anyways." He hummed a soft chuckle, "Fine.. But only because I'll forget." He shrugged slightly, "And who would you tell.." He seemed to reason with himself.

"I have a lot of dreams about my past. Everything from my childhood to my days in the war." He started and I looked down at my cup as I listened, figuring he wouldn't want me staring at him while he talked, "I used to stand up to my old man so he would stay the hell away from my brothers.. Got me lots of beatings, punches, kicks, even lashes -- He used to use the buckle of his belt on my back all the time." He hummed before continuing, "Growing up in children's homes, juvie, then shipping off to the army just to make something of myself.. All the visions of the beatings.. losing my comrades, the constant gun fire and explosions in the back of my mind while I lay there in the dark.." He muttered, and looked up to find me already looking at him; "Damn.. Don't do that," He sighed as he leaned back in his chair, "I hate people looking at me with those sad eyes." I sighed and looked down nodding, "I understand that, I'm sorry.. I just understand the feel, not the war memories.. But, the childhood of abuse and growing up in children's homes." I said and he looked at me like something made sense, "Then I guess you get it." He murmured, and I nodded, "I'm not looking at you with pity like everyone else does, but because I _know_ that look in your eyes _all_ too well."

"I'm almost disappointed I won't remember this." He said as he looked at his cup and I smiled softly, watching him as he stood. "You should turn in, get the sleep while you can before we get back to training." I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm so used to waking up at this time by now." I said and he chuckled lightly, "Well, I'm going to pass out, sleep this off. You should get some rest. I'll wake you up for breakfast." I nodded as I looked down, tracing an infinity sign on the wood of the table. Jacob looked down at me and stepped forward to me, "Don't worry about me, Kitten. I'll be fine." He reassured as he tucked a strand behind my ear, "You get rest.." He said as I looked up at him, and he let in a deep breath as I touched his wrist slightly, "Thanks for the coffee."


	5. Fireworks of the Mind

Today was a Wednesday, but Jacob said that we would be going out to see the Family now. It was a special occasion, so it was an exception to Jacob's 'no vacation' rule. Just work, work, work until the weekend for us. We're having a barbecue for the 4th, and I was honestly excited. As with most things, Joseph said that he wanted to give his family what they didn't have growing up. So holidays were celebrated to the fullest, and I was glad for the mini vacation from Boot Camp --  Also, Faith convinced Joseph to that we had to do our own firework show. I'd always loved watching fireworks, every fourth as a kid I would sneak out to the local show in the parks. I would lay down in the grass and I could feel them vibrating the Earth as they exploded. It was one of my favorite memories out of all the shit.

We would be having a big barbecue at the house, the place was packed with the members of the Project coming and going throughout the day. I was in the kitchen making pitchers of tea to fill up the large dispensers outside. I carried out the last of the tea to be poured into the third, and final dispenser as to have plenty. I waved some people off as I jogged up the stairs to get changed into the dress Faith had picked out for me. I didn't want to get it dirty while I helped cook so I'd put off wearing it up till now. I smiled as I held the dress up to myself, it was a pastel blue maxi sundress. On the top half of the dress -which stopped at the end of my rib cage- it was white, with small wooden buttons trailing down in the center of my chest, thin braided straps that formed an X over my back. The skirt of the dress was a pastel blue with a floral patter of sunflowers big and small across it. When I slipped it on, I noticed that there was a slit up the leg of the dress that exposed up to my mid thigh. I put on black flats, a necklace that had a dream catcher charm on it, and an upper arm cuff that was silver vines wrapped along me. I let my hair down and made my way down stairs to meet Faith in the living room. She beamed at the sight of me, coming over to take my hands, "Oh, you look so beautiful! I _knew_ you would look amazing in that dress." She smiled and I felt my cheeks tinting at the comment, "Thanks, Faith.." I smiled and looked out to everyone outside eating, "Shall we?" I muttered and she gave a soft chuckle before tugging me out the door.

I sat at a picnic table set up for food, eating from my plate as I watched everyone around us. I took a bite from my brisket as I turned and met Jacob's gaze. He was on the grill, making burgers, hot dogs, steaks, brisket, and chicken. I wasn't surprised to see him working the grill, he seemed like the type to do so, being the older brother of the group. Joseph may be The Father, but Jacob had always protected his brothers, and likely took care of them when growing up together. He probably had to learn at a young age how to provide his siblings with food along with himself. I picked up my plate as I finished the small amount I'd gotten out of anxiety at the start of the party. Most of it was because Jacob was the one who I had to see in order to get the meat.. I was still intimidated by... Well, his existence, really. But I wasn't at boot camp now, I don't see any reason to be scared of him in this moment. I stood in the line waiting until I came up to Jacob, "You know," I started as he turned to me while flipping a steak over. "This is your party too, you should be enjoying the food you make just like everyone else." I said and he shrugged, "I don't mind, what do you want?" I looked at the steak he'd just flipped and hummed,

"I'll take the steak." He nodded, "Give it a moment and it'll be good to go." He said, and I looked around, "Come on, there's plenty of people here, someone's gotta know how to work a grill." I said as I glanced around, my plate got heavier and I turned back to him with a sigh, "Suit yourself.. Your cooking is too good to miss." I said before turning around and walking off with a smile. I got some sides on my plate before refilling my tea. When I sat back down with Faith, Joseph, and John, I saw Jacob looking at me. I smiled slightly as I ate and moved to talking to the Family. Not too long after, Jacob was walking over to us. We all turned our attention to him as he stood there, plate in hand piled on with food. "Brother, have you come to join us?" Joseph asked with a gentle smile. "Yeah, I needed a break." He said simply and looked at me, "Scoot." He said and I moved to the end to make room between Joseph and I. Jacob sat down and started to reminisce with his siblings. I smiled as I ate my food while I listened in on them talking. Jacob turned to me as I cut into my steak, I felt him lean in slightly and before I turned to him he spoke, "Thanks for the push.." He said before turning back to his food. I glanced over at him and met his side gaze towards me with a smile.  

I placed another plate over my food before weighing it down with my cup to keep my food covered as I made my way inside. I went upstairs, and through Faith's room to enter our connected bathroom. I washed my hands as I stared at myself in the mirror. Every time I let myself enjoy things like this, I was reminded of who they were once I was alone.. I felt guilty for enjoying myself here even a little bit. But they've changed... Nobody is taken against their will. They have their sermons in peace every Sunday.. Faith gives Bliss only to those who ask. Jacob only uses his music box on the people who want to train like so. John stopped cutting peoples flesh off, only giving them scars or tattoos based on what they agree to. Joseph heard me when I talked to him before, and he made these changes accordingly.. So, why should I feel guilty about it now? They forgave me for everything I did, why shouldn't I forgive them? Trust them, the Family..

I walked out of the room, and ran into a man as he came up the steps, gasping as a cold liquid splashed over me. "Oh, I am so sorry." I said as I stepped away, "It's alright, most of it got on you anyways.." He chuckled, and I looked down with a laugh, "Yeah, I suppose it did." I moved my eyes back up to him, he was.. Cleaner looking than most of the Peggies who tended to look like they'd been lost in the woods for years. He had neat buzzed hair, clean shaven face, and didn't look drug dazed. By the looks of him, I'd say he was also in boot camp. "You're Ellie, aren't you? The one the Father has taken in as one of his siblings." I rose my eyebrows at this, "Ah, I don't know about that, but he's been trying to help me.. Find the Path." I chuckled and he smiled, looking down, "We should get cleaned up before this stains." He said and I peeked down to the tea on the white of my dress, "Oh shoot, you're right." I turned behind me, "There's a bathroom through here if you want to wash up." I said as I lead him into the room, I wet a wash cloth and put a very small amount of soap on it before I started dabbing the tea off. As he came in I handed him another wash cloth and he smiled as he took it. I felt the air shift around me as I noticed he was staring at me while I dabbed near my breasts.

I felt my heart stutter in fear as I slowly moved my gaze up to his reflection and set my rag down, "I think that's the best I can do, I'm gonna go see-" I was cut off by him grabbing me by the upper arm before I could walk out the door, "Oh don't give up so fast. I could help if you want." He said as he pulled me back. I stood still and looked down, "No, I'm fine, I'll just change." I said as I tried to walk out again, but he stepped in front of me. "Oh come now, don't be such a rude host. You got tea on me too. _I_ can't change, you should at least help me." He let out as I backed away, he followed my steps until I was pressed against the door to my bedroom. "I-I don't think I could do you any good. I don't know how to get it out, I could just ask Faith -- She could help." I said as I tried to move but he put his arms on either side of me, making me feel trapped around him. "No, I think you're gonna stay put here." He started and I looked up, "No. I want to leave." I said, "So move, or-" "Or what? You'll kill me? Come on, Girl. You and I both know if you went running out of here, not a damn person would believe you over me." He said and I froze in place, "Come on, really.." He started as he leaned in close, "You've been trying to kill the Family since you first met them. I have shown unwavering devotion to them.. You ain't got a chance, they'd turn on you before you could even cry wolf." He hummed as I closed my eyes tightly, I could feel him trace my cheek with his index finger, I grabbed the door nob to my bedroom and opened it quickly.

He fell forward at the sudden loss of support and landed on the ground with me. I tried to scramble away but he grabbed me by the upper arm and yanked me back towards him to slide me under him. I thought I heard noise from outside, but it must have been wishful thinking because all I heard next was silence. I whimpered as I thrashed around, he slapped me across the cheek with a loud smack and I stopped moving. I didn't even move my head from where I'd turned from the impact.. I just laid there, paralyzed in fear as he moved the skirt of my dress up. "That's right, you be a good girl, and you won't get hurt." He said as I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing tears out of my eyes as I laid there. There was a loud bang to my left and the man's weight was lifted off of me. I gasped and scrambled up to move back towards my bed. I curled up to bury my face in my knees as I heard the sounds of flesh connecting with flesh in a sickening thud followed by what sounded like a crack. When the sounds stopped I just remained in place, not knowing what to do. I felt someone gently touch my shoulders and moved my gaze up hesitantly to John as he helped me up. John put his coat around me as I gaped at Jacob who had the man pinned on the ground with his arm behind his back, pressing it up until the guy let out a whine. I looked to John as he lead me out of the room, I followed his lead down stairs. Joseph approached us with a worried look in his eye, and John stepped forward whispering to him. Joseph's eyes washed over with fury now, but he hugged me gently. As he pulled away he tucked my hair back and cautiously touched my swollen cheek with his thumb before he calmly made his way upstairs.

I was sitting on the couch in Faith's arms as she comforted me. I looked up as Joseph walked past us to the front door, opening it before Jacob followed him out with the man who he dragged by the collar. I stood and followed them out quickly to see what they were doing. "Brothers and sisters!" John shouted to the crowed who stopped to look at the beaten man. "This man has attacked one of our own. One of our family." He said as he looked to me, "His Sin.. His Sin will not be forgiven." He announced as he gazed to Joseph who nodded, "My dear children.. I understand your skepticism towards the newest member of my Family." He started, I felt a pang in my heart at his words as I watched John kneel down. "But this is unforgivable. You may hesitate, but if you ever harm her, you  _will_ face the consequences." He watched the man as Jacob threw him down once John had stopped carving into his skin, "If another harms not only my dear Ellie, but anyone else in our Family. You will face the same fate as he." Joseph announced as Jacob yanked the man up by the neck before dragging his knife across it. I gasped as I watched the blood splattering across the grass. Staring at the word carved across his chest: LUST. Everyone seemed a bit shocked, but they clapped at the decision their Father made. "We will not let this vile man ruin our evening." He said as he looked to me and held his hand out, I took it and let him lead me to stand beside him, "We will continue with our plans. Let us go to the river bank where she was baptized like so many of you. And we will celebrate with the firework show we promised."

People were coming up to me with kind words, comforts, and even hugs. I walked with John by my side, and Faith on the other as she held my hand while we walked down to the river. I had to reassure Faith that I would be okay until I was nearly blue in the face before Joseph convinced her to give me space. I wandered further down stream from the large crowed and laid the grass to look up at the sky for the show. I heard someone nearing me, and I propped up on my elbows to look up at Jacob who was now washed of any blood. "What're you doing all the way down here?" I asked, and he moved his gaze over me, "I was gonna ask you the same thing, kid." He said and I laid back down, "I wanted to be alone while I watched the fireworks." I said and he sat down in the grass, I turned to him, "You should be with your family." He looked down at me, "According to Joseph, I am. Besides, the last time I let you wander off, you got attacked." I gazed back up to the darkening sky, "I went to the bathroom, I didn't wander off.." I murmured and he ignored me, "I'm staying here. And when we get back I'm training you even harder." He said, and I sat up again, "What.." I started but sighed, "Jacob, it had nothing to do with strength.. It's not that I couldn't fight back.. It's that I didn't.." I muttered and he looked at me with furrowed brows, "Why the hell not." I glanced down, "I've been taught not to.." I spoke softly, so quiet I wasn't sure if he heard me. But the silence showed me that he had..

I looked up at him and he had an odd look in his eye, the sudden understanding in them was evident. I sighed as I slowly laid back down in the grass. "It's okay to say no." He said and I stared up at the sky, "Sometimes that doesn't matter.. Sometimes they aren't asking." "But you have to fight." I sighed, "There are times when you fight that you end up worse off than you should have been." I said and he was silent, I glanced over and his jaw flexed in anger. I moved my hand up to his arm with a smile, "I just want to watch the fireworks." I said, and he nodded before looking up at the night sky. I folded my hands over my stomach and watched as the first firework shot into the air. I smiled as it exploded and the color rained down over head. When the next one when off I noticed Jacob was tense and staring at the lake. I remembered the conversation from his drunken night home and sat up to gently touch his shoulder. Speaking while I had the chance before the next one went off, "It might help if you actually watched the fireworks. They're really pretty." I chuckled as I played innocently clueless, he looked at me and let me lower him down to lay with me before another went off.

He jumped slightly but was less tense now, the colors rippled across the sky in a sizzle. The ground vibrated up my spine and in my heart as they went off in bright bursts of life. Red, white, blue, pink, green and everything in between.. They were beautiful. When Jacob flinched again, I moved my hand into the grass. I didn't move my eyes away from the explosions as I set my pinky onto his. I felt his hand twitch at the contact before he was still, I shifted my hand to be slightly closer. I saw Jacob turn to me slightly in my peripheral but I didn't move to acknowledge the situation. I felt him move his hand towards me before he fully took mine into his. I smiled slightly bigger as I watched the night sky, enjoying the show and I think Jacob did too. If his lack of jumping was any indication. 

* * *

After everyone made their leave, it was only us left in the house. Joseph went up stairs to retire, followed shortly by a sleepy Faith. John was in the kitchen writing, and Jacob was on the couch cleaning his rifle. I looked at him slightly before I made my way to the kitchen. I closed the door silently behind me, I made my way around the table to stand across from him and smiled faintly when John gazed up at me. "Ellie, are you alright?" He asked, and I nodded as I sat down, "I have a favor to ask.." He seemed intrigued and closed his book, watching me as he waited for me to go on, "Alright.. Earlier when that guy attacked me.. He mentioned that I wasn't really one of you," I started, and spoke up before John could, "I know you guys don't think so.. But I wanted to prove my dedication somehow.. Not something that I'm told to do.. Not like the Confession, or walking the Path, or the training I'm going through with Jacob. Just.. Something I offer on my own." I said and he smiled, "What did you have in mind?" I touched my upper left arm and rubbed it slightly, "I want a tattoo of the Project's cross." I said and he looked surprised, "I know it's an odd way to show it, but this way the Project will be a part of me." I explained and he chuckled, "I'm not questioning as to why, I'm just.. I didn't expect you to want it." I smiled slightly and nodded as I chuckled, "Me either, but I don't want anyone having any doubts about my commitment." John looked gleeful, "I assume the favor you're asking is for me to give it to you?" I nodded, and he stood, "I would love that, I'll get my tattoo gun. You wait here while I get everything ready." He said before leaving the room and I chuckled.

I glanced back at the door as it creaked open, and saw Jacob standing in the door way, "A tattoo, huh?" He asked and I took a deep breath before standing, "I know it seems stupid, but I just don't want people treating me like I don't belong anymore. It's been almost four months." He nodded in understanding, "I get it, just shocked at the display." He said, John came back in and Jacob moved to lean against the counter top in front of me. John set out everything on the table and plugged in the gun, checking to make sure it worked fine before he set it back down. "Alright, where would you like it?" He asked and I turned slightly to my right to leave my left arm on the table, "Here." I said as I held my fingers up to scale how big I wanted it. John pulled up his seat, put on gloves and started by taking a cloth to pour rubbing alcohol onto it to sterilize my arm. He cleaned off my arm for a good minute before he moved away to let it dry while he got the other stuff ready to stencil my arm. He got a small bottle out that read 'Stencil Stuff' and I chuckled, "Out of everything I've used so far, I liked it the most." He chuckled as he scooted over to rub it onto my arm. He took the stencil off the table once he was done and held it up, "Alright, now hold really still." He said, I did so and he placed the stencil on my arm, and smoothed it down.

He held the paper down for a few seconds before he peeled it off of me. I scanned over the outline and he smiled, "Alright, now you gotta keep really still while I trace, I don't want to mess up the lining. For now we just wait for it to dry." I nodded as I took a deep breath, I looked up to Jacob who was still leant against the counter watching. Once the waiting was over, the tattoo gun buzzed on and I stayed calm as he pressed it into my skin. I kept my eyes closed until he pulled away, he wiped at the outline before he looked up at me, "You doing alright?" He asked and I nodded, "It doesn't hurt as bad as I thought." I chuckled as I gazed down at it. "You ready to fill it in?" I nodded, and he started to color in the blank space in the cross. I looked up at Jacob as he kept a watchful eye over me it was oddly pleasing that he was here with us. Though I think he was just bored since they don't use.. Well just about any electronics. Still, I got an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach as he watched us.

When I woke up in the morning, my arm was sore as hell. I made my way out of bed and put on a tank top so nothing rubbed against the sore skin around the bandage I wore. I left my room and nearly ran into Faith, "Ellie, What happened to your arm?" She asked with concern and I chuckled as I peeled it back -- John said I'd have to replace it in the morning anyways. Faith gasped as she looked at the freshly inked mark on my skin, "I can't believe you did this." She laughed happily as she looked at it, I moved my eyes over to Joseph's door as it opened and he peered out at us, "What's going on?" He asked as he came out, "Ellie got a tattoo." Faith announced with a smile, and he came up to us. When he realized what it was he gave a smile to, "Oh, My Child.." I smiled as he gave me a gentle hug, being mindful of the tattoo. "I was going to show you two at breakfast, but this works just as well." I chuckled, "I had John do it last night after you'd gone to bed." I said as I pulled the bandage back up and he gently stroked my cheek with his thumb, "I think it's wonderful." I smiled as we walked down stairs for breakfast.

Jacob and I were walking down the hall of the Vet. center. Faith had convinced us to stay till dinner and we came back around when Jacob would be watching over the training. We were in a comfortable silence as we walked the halls. I had always preferred being quiet, I wasn't much of a talker, and I didn't know how to make conversation. So with the thoughts wracking through my brain, I found it difficult to bring up what happened before back up. I had a hard enough time bringing up the weather let alone this.. I looked at my door as Jacob stopped in front of it. "Here we are." He spoke and I stared at the knob but made no move, "Jacob.." I let out before I could over think and run away, "Yeah, kid?" He asked and I looked up at him rather than the door knob, "I wanted to say thank you." I started, "I have a past with this type of shit.. And whenever I've tried to get away, it happened anyways and I ended up seriously hurt.. But when I didn't, it still happened but only I didn't get so.. Fucked up. And I know that's not okay, but.. It's what I learned. It's fucked up, and it's not right, but whenever something I don't want to happen..  _Happens_ I just, I freeze, it's like I'm being paralyzed.. I wish I could stop, I wish I fought, but.. I couldn't." I trailed off and he stepped forward, "It's not your fault that you were attacked." I nodded slightly, "I know that.." He sighed as he stood in front of me, "I don't know what to say." He let out, and I shook my head, "You don't have to say anything.. I just wanted to thank you because if you hadn't shown up when you did.. He would have really hurt me."

"I thought we might have scared you off." He said and I rose my eyebrows slightly in confusion, "Because of what he did?" I asked and he sighed shaking his head, "Because of what  _I_ did." I nodded at the realization, but shook my head as I spoke, "No, he deserved it.." I said as I glanced down. "It's just I know before you'd had your.. Talk that made Joseph change the way things were." He said, "Thought maybe killing him was too far for you." I shook my head, "No, I didn't want you hurting  _innocent_ people.. He.. He was anything but.. and I know that, if I'd had the courage, I'd of killed him." He nodded as he looked down at me. "I'm just glad you came in when you did. Before he really hurt me." I said, "I mean, I got hurt.. But not nearly as bad as I could have." I chuckled as I touched my swollen cheek. My eyes snapped up when Jacob's large, calloused hand touched my cheek. I let in a deep breath as I scanned over his features. He gently stroked the tender muscle, and I saw his jaw flex as he examined it. "It's bruising." He muttered as he glanced over me before he met my gaze.

Now _both_ my cheeks were throbbing when I looked his blue eyes. "Don't do that.." I murmured, "I hate people looking at me with those sad eyes." I spoke softly, his eyebrows twitched and there was a look in his eye like a.. sudden realization at the repeated words. I felt Jacob get just slightly closer to me as he held my cheek and didn't speak a word as he watched me. I looked down slightly, embarrassed under his intense gaze. His hand moved away from my cheek to my door knob, opening my door for me before stepping away. "It's been a long past few days.. You should get plenty of rest for tomorrow. You'll need it." I looked into my room and cleared my throat slightly, "Right, right.. Um, what's tomorrow?" I asked as I stepped passed the door. Jacob walked forward making me move back timidly, he grabbed my handle to pull the door shut for me, "Your first spar with me."


	6. Assert Your Dominance

Jacob just left me with that. Sparring? With  _him_? I wasn't ready for that, was he insane? Is this still about what happened before? Does he somehow feel responsible or even guilty about what had gone down? A million questions ran around my mind and it made it difficult to relax. He was with the others who were training now, and it would be around an hour before I even had to turn in. I sat up off my bed and went to my bathroom. I knelt down and opened the sink cabinet to get my phone out of an old make up bag I had. Joseph didn't much care for technology, but I needed my music. I played my Arctic Monkeys playlist and hummed as Knee Socks started playing. I sat on my toilet as the shower water heated up. I waited until I noticed the mirror fogging up and I stripped to step in as the next song played; Wanna Be Yours. I moaned as the hot water pattered onto my skin, and pulled my hair forward to drape over my chest so the water would spray over my back. I hummed before I began to mutter with the lyrics "Secrets I have held in my heart.. Are harder to hide than I thought... Maybe I just wanna be yours.. I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours."

I trailed off with the song as my heart tingled at the lyrics. I furrowed my brows at the odd feeling and slowly traced over the thudding skin while the song continued. I ignored the thoughts and grabbed the shampoo. I scrubbed my scalp clean, rinsing it out as Do I Wanna Know started playing, I hummed with the beginning while I cleared my hair of suds and started washing my body, "Do I wanna know... If this feeling flows both ways? _Sad to see you go_.. Was sorta hoping that you'd stay..  _Sad to see you go.._  That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day... Crawlin' back to you.. Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do... Maybe I'm too... busy being _yours_ to fall for somebody new.. Now I've thought it through... Crawling back to _you_.." I opened my eyes as I lathered the conditioner through my long locks as I listened to the lyrics. I wrapped my hair up to let the conditioner sit. I hummed as the song drawled out and I let the steam rolled over me, the hot water washed me. And when the song ended I waited for the song to loop as I'd had it set up. I started washing my face, closing my eyes as the song bounced around walls when an image flashed in my head.

 _Jacob_.. Nothing too special but now that I had imagined him. I couldn't stop.. I just kept seeing him as the words of my favorite song taunted me. **'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow.. When I play it on repeat'** I washed off my face and backed away from the water to lean on the cool tile wall at the over whelming feeling in my chest. I could practically smell him when I tried to force the thoughts out. Every second that passed trying _not_ to think about him.. Brought more thoughts on. I remembered every moment vividly as I rinsed my hair.. The night he came home drunk lingered: The thud of the kitchen door hitting the wall, when he pressed me into the counter.. I could smell the Bliss garden outside, the kitchen.. It'd smelt like fresh brewed  coffee, vanilla, and hazel nut.. He smelt like old oak wood, and some sort of spice, along with the sent of alcohol of course.. I could feel the texture of his skin ghosting on the palm of my hand.. I could hear the way his military fatigues ruffled when he moved, and the way my heart burned when he spoke about his past.. All of it. As I stepped out of the shower and cleared the foggy mirror, I had a sudden realization... _I was so fucked_.

* * *

I waved from across the room to a few of the friends I'd made while living here. I sat with the girls as they talked, but I was zoned out. Nervous about sparring with Jacob. I'd sparred with plenty of the Cult's strongest, but Jacob? I couldn't take him on, he'd kill me with little to no effort at all.. Let's be honest; I think that that man could break my neck with his _index_ finger.. So going up against him was so excruciatingly nerve wracking and on top of that I might have the _stupidest_ crush in the world on him... I looked up as he walked into the dining hall. My first thought was 'what in the hell?' He never came during the mornings.. There was a schedule, and he stuck by it. What was he doing? I watched him cross the room as everyone stood at attention. I felt my face going red when I realized he was coming towards me. Everyone's eyes would be directly on me when he got over here.

I turned as he stood behind me and looked up at him, trying to keep my calm as he looked over me. He made a simple gesture for me to follow him and I obeyed. I kept my eyes down as we left knowing everyone else's were on us. When we left the dining hall I walked beside him rather than behind as he led the way. "Jacob?" I asked as he walked, he made a hum in response and I bit my lip, "I didn't know you were getting me in the morning.. I figured you'd take me aside at the end of the day or.. I don't know.." I trailed off and he looked over, "Well if I put you through hours of work before fighting it give me an unfair advantage." He said and I stared up at him, "Uh, I think being a **_whole_** _foot_ taller than me, having _military_ background,  _and_ the damn music box that can _control_ me would be the unfair advantage. Not me being tired out." He gave a slight grin at that, "I won't be using the music box." I sighed as we walked, "My point remains. You've got years of training, and a _lot_ of inches on me." I muttered as we walked down the path behind the building.

"I never said you had to  _beat_ me when sparring, Kid. Just that you need to start getting some more challenging training. You have excelled since you got here, and that means you need to get ranked up. You my dear rabbit have gotten to a point that even our VIPs are just another days work for you." He said as he walked on, "Now, once you get VIP level, you start training with me personally." I slowed in pace which caused him to turn to me, "Wait.. Am I considered a VIP?" I asked and he chuckled as I gaped at the information. "That's right, now come on solider. I ain't got all day." He said before walking ahead. I jogged to catch up with him and walked by his side at an even pace until we arrived at the training grounds. I walked to the center with him and fidgeted nervously. "Relax, I won't come at you full force on your first session." He reassured, I nodded and looked down, "No weapons yet, right?" I asked and he nodded. I removed my knife and tossed it gently into the grass outside of the dirt square that was the sparring ground. "You know.. I'm surprised you guys haven't built or bought an actual training area." I commented as I tied my hair up into a tight bun. "We've got all we need here, besides. It makes it more real, areas like these woods are what you used to fight in all the time before." He said, "Don't need no fancy arena to whoop someone's ass." I chuckled slightly as I looked down nodding, "Fair enough."

Looking back up I watched as Jacob tugged off his cargo jacket. He was left in jeans and grey muscle shirt, and I watched as he removed his dog tags to wrap them up the the jacket before tossing it to the side with my knife followed by his own. I felt my lips part as I looked at the curves of his muscular arms. "Something wrong, Rabbit?" I cleared my throat as I looked away, "No, it's just.. I was already nervous and seeing.. All your muscles didn't make it any better." I chuckled awkwardly and he gave a faint smirk, "Well you can't see all of them." He commented and I felt my cheeks heat up as my imagination wandered, "No, but honestly Jacob you'd be terrifying even if you were in a bunny suit. So.." Why did I say that..? He chuckled and it helped distract me from the shape of his body, so I suppose that was.. Okay.

"Let's just go into it, Rabbit. You'll be fine, like I said, I won't be going full force." I nodded as I took a deep breath. I got into my stance and watched as he followed suit seeing I was ready. "Good stance." He said but I kept focused as we moved around. I watched him with rapid scanning eyes for any movement or opening he left. Of course I saw no opening for me to take a good shot that wouldn't back fire. When I looked down as his stance changed, I moved back as I knew he was going to take a shot. I moved him away from me and took a shot at his opening. He hit my forearm and went to swing at me but I ducked down, twisting to stand behind him I kicked at his side. Jacob grabbed my ankle with his opposite hand and turned to face me with ease as I stumbled slightly. I lifted my leg up and spun with my fist out to punch him. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me forward into a choke hold. "Got you." He whispered and a shiver ran over me a I struggled slightly before taking a deep breath. I leaned to my left and moved to wrap my leg around his and slammed my knee into the back of his and forced his leg to buckle and loosen his hold on me enough to slip away and move to stand in front of him returning to my starting stance.

"Very good." He praised as he moved to his own stance and a smile ghosted my lips as we moved. With a sort of ego boost now, I made the first move to hold his left hand down and swing for his jaw. Jacob caught my hand with ease and flipped his left to grip into my wrist. He was now holding me by both my wrists, locking my arms in an X position that made it difficult to get away. I cursed under my breath as I looked at our arms while he waited for me to find a way out. I knew he was timing me with 20 seconds before he threw me down.. He went to speak but my eyebrows twitched as I got an idea and Jacob watched me carefully. I spun around to where my arms weren't crossed, but behind my back now. I moved forward and kicked my leg up to his chest to break my wrists free. He couldn't stop my kick if he was using both hands to keep me from breaking away. My wrists slipped from his grasp and I rolled forward slightly before turning around. He gave a faint grin as he watched me move back into position. "Excellent." He said and I took a deep breath as the high praise bubbled in my chest. 

I waited for his move this time with a watchful eye. Jacob moved to hit me with his right fist, I moved to block him and he grabbed me by the arm, twisting me around to pin my arm in between my shoulder blades. Before I could move he hooked his foot on my ankle and I fell forward, he held my upper arm of the one not pinned so I didn't hurt myself and laid me down. He let go of my arm and I flipped to roll away but he sat on my stomach, grabbing my wrists to pin me down. I panted as I looked up at him as he stared down at me. "Got you, Rabbit." He muttered as he watched my face as it contorted with defeat. I struggled under him but went slack when I couldn't find any wiggle room. I laid my head back as I stared up at him as he didn't move from his position. "Jacob..?" I murmured as he let go of my wrists, but kept himself propped over me, he moved to where one of his legs was between mine. My breathing slowed, becoming shallow as he watched me, his jaw flexing as his gaze moved to my parting lips, "You did well for your first spar with me." He commented, "And you can take my VIPs down no problem. What'd you say about being an official VIP? You'd have your own group to go out on missions." I looked up at him in surprise, "Really? You think I'm ready for something like that?" 

"I do. You can start today if you'd like." He said as he moved to stand, holding his hand out for me. I took it and he lifted me onto my feet with ease. "I'd love to. What would I be doing?" He chuckled at my eagerness, "You'll start with supply runs. We need stuff from Prepper stashes the Resistance hasn't gotten to. They tend to take the money, guns, ammo.. But we need the food more than any of that. There tends to be a large quantity of canned goods that we need to stock up on for the Collapse." I nodded as I listened. "You'll have another VIP with you, but you're the leader, and you gotta make that known. You're an alpha now, Kid. But they will try and take that from you. Don't let 'em. You're ranked in the same as wolves." Of course. "You're an alpha, the other VIP will be your Beta. You will have a few Omegas with you, they will have the task of carrying every good they can. Mean while you and the Beta protect the stash." I nodded in understanding as he watched me. "The next group leaves in an hour. I'll tell them how it is, then you come in and take charge. Got it?" "Got it."

* * *

I walked down the road with my.. Pack as I scanned the surrounding area for any threats. Since I was going out, I was wearing my regular clothes. I wore my red Peggie tank top- as to not have a sleeve rub against my tattoo- with a black cross in the center. Black cargo jeans tucked into my boots. To top it all off, I wore my old vest. I kept all my old patches on it but now I had a large white P.E.G. cross across my back. One more detail added was a new silver pin on left lapel of my vest, it was the Greek symbol for Alpha. My leather gloves squeaked around my revolver as we neared the area on our map. "It's here." One of the Peggies said, I followed them into the woods and up the mountain. We were close to John's region at this point, just on the other side of the mountain you could enter Holland Valley. I walked ahead to the cabin and noticed a note. I threw the note as it held no real evidence but that the man left to track someone down from trying to steal his stash. I looked back to the men and glanced over one of the 'Omegas'. "You. Scout the area for any clues that will help us." I said as I walked around the porch back to them as he left. 

"Ma'am!" The man shouted not too long after he'd left and he came jogging towards us to meet us in the middle. "Find something?" I asked and he nodded, "There's a blood trail, might lead to something that'll help us." He offered and I nodded, "The note said the owner was going after someone. Maybe there was some blood shed. Lead the way." I said and he obeyed, leading us on the blood path. All the blood lead us to a cave, and as we approached I signaled for them to hold back while I went ahead. I looked around before clicking on my flashlight. Not too long after I spotted a key card beside a dead body. I hummed as I picked it up, and wiped blood from it onto my pants before heading out. I looked up to the group and held the key card up before putting around my neck. They all looked happy with the find and followed me back to the cabin.  
I removed the key cad from my neck and swiped it, there was a beeping as the light lit up green showing the door had unlocked for us. Before I opened the door sounds of guns clicking came to my ears and I slowly turned as a voice shouted; "Peggies!"

I snapped my head back as shots were fired at my men. I watched them get their own weapons out as I felt a sharp pain through my shoulder that knocked me back into the door. I held my shoulder tightly as I groaned, looking down at my tank top took my knife and cut into my shirt. I tore the bottom half of it off before ripping it in half to tie under my arm to try and stop the bleeding. I pushed myself up and ducked down as I moved to get more cover. "Hold!" I shouted to my men who turned in confusion but another voice echoed mine and the others ceased fire as well. I moved to walk passed my men as the others came out. The other VIP stepped towards me, "What the hell's the matter with you. You're gonna get us killed." He spoke in a quiet but harsh manner. I looked to him with a glare, "Need I remind you of your position?" I growled out as I turned towards him, "I am your _Alpha_. That _little B_ on your chest means you answer to  _me_ now." I said as I looked away from him in dismissal as I turned to the group and noticed an all too familiar face; Nick Rye. My face went slack as I looked to him before I hardened it again, "What is your business here?"

I spoke strongly as I looked over the Resistance members whispered as they looked at me. My hair was pulled back high, not one of my facial features were hidden, and they all were shocked to see me; Saying things such as "I don't believe it. It's really her." or "How could she." and "She's a fucking Peggie now." Things along those lines. I looked to Nick for answers as he was the clear leader of this group as he stood before me. He was more bewildered than the rest as he stared at me, removing his sunglasses as if that would change that it were really me. " _What is your business here_." I repeated more demanding this time, Nick snapped out of his shocked trance and stepped forward, "We came for the Prepper stash." I hummed as I held up the key card from around my neck, "You're a little late. It's ours, finders keepers." I said as I looked at him blankly, trying to sell the story I'd told him to tell everyone. My heart burned as he looked at me with those eyes. "Look, we ain't lookin' for any trouble-" "You fired at us first, Rye." I said as I stepped forward, "So, I'd say you were more than ready to bring it." I whispered playfully making something changed in those blue eyes.

They weren't sad anymore.. They were disappointed. My heart throbbed painfully at the sight and my jaw flexed as I clenched my teeth tight together. "Look, we need that money." "And we need the food." I said, the Resistance members seemed confused, and I knew my next words locked my place in Nick's life... "For when the Collapse comes. We'll need plenty of food for everyone if we want to last seven years to see the New Garden." Nick looked at me with surprise before his eyes hardened. "Now, leave before someone does something _stupid_." "It looks to me like _someone_ already did." He let out lowly, and I could feel my eyes burning as I kept my ground. "Make you a deal. You go on in there with me, I won't take none of ya'lls food. I'll be on my way and you can be on yours. Ain't ever gotta see one another again." He said, I closed my eyes as I moved to turn to the cabin. "Men, stand down." The Beta stepped forward, and I moved in front of him, " _That's an order._ " I let out in a deep voice that was almost a growl before I walked back to the cabin.

Nick followed me alone with a duffel bag. I leaned against the front door as he started loading up the money, and ammo into the bag silently. "You're really one of them, ain't ya?" He spoke in a whisper, the cabin was silent, he spoke to where only I would hear him. "I have to be." I responded as I walked forward to sit on a chest once he emptied it out, "If I was going to survive. I had to be." I looked up at him as he stared down at me with the return of saddened eyes. "They aren't that bad, Nick.." I muttered and looked away knowing he would change his mood again. "N... Not that bad?" He rose his voice before looking to the door and whispering harshly to me, "Are you out of your damn mind, woman?" I sighed as he stepped forward, dropping his bag, "They have kidnapped, drugged them into zombies, brainwashed them into soldiers and murdered them when none of the above worked." He said as he tried to get me to look at him, eventually landing him knelt down in front of me. I looked into his eyes as he spoke now,

"Damn it, Ellie.. I-I was there.." He trailed off, looking away for a moment as he took a deep breath before looking back, "I searched for you for _days_ **every** time you disappeared. I wandered through the _woods_ , the **mountains** , I flew all around this _damn_ county, turning every rock over trying to  _save_ you from those fucking psychos. I flew straight to you when you escaped from John's bunker. I nearly wrecked Carmina on the way to the clinic to fix all your broken bones from _throwing yourself down a flight of stairs._ I took you back to the Jail when you were so drugged out of your mind that you tried to _kill_ me. I tracked you down when Pratt got you out of that damned Vet. center. I took you home and held you while you cried _because_ of what Jacob  _made_  you do. How can you sit here and tell me that they're  _not that bad._ " 

I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, "Nick.." I cleared my throat as my voice cracked, "I love you. I do, I love you, I love Kim, and I love little Beth.. You three are my  _family_." I said as I held my hands out and he took them. "But I need you to understand.. I've been there for  _months_. They are changing. I am monitoring them, I am gaining their trust, and I am allowed to make decisions for the Cult.. I convinced Joseph that they got out of hand.. That  _God_ wouldn't want this." I took a deep breath, "Believe me when I say that it's better.  _They_ are better." Nick sighed as he squeezed my hands, his jaw flexing as he looked down, "I know. Trust me. I sound out of my mind.. But I'm not on Bliss.. I'm not being classically conditioned any more. I have freedom.. No cage, no drugs, no music box.. I have a home, I'm not there now but I have my own room where I am now.. I can't tell you, because you.. I know you'll try to roll up with the Resistance and bust those doors in." I laughed slightly as tears fell and he smiled softly, I cleared my throat and looked at him firmly, "But this is my home now. This is my life now.. I have to be one of them. It's not torture, and you're safe.. _Bethie_ is safe." I held his cheeks in my hands and he stood with me, pulling me into a tight hug. I closed my eyes as I tried not to break down. It'd been so long since I'd had a hug from Nick Rye, and I was not passing this moment up.

There was a knock on the door and the Beta's voice came; "Everything alright, you been in there long." I pulled away from Nick and cleared my throat, "Fine. He's finishing up and then you can come on in." My response was met with silence and I turned to Nick who was gathering the rest before zipping the bag. "I... I hope I see you, El." He whispered and I nodded slightly, "You too, Nicky.." I muttered as he walked away. I kept my eyes closed until the door shut and I looked up to the counter to a photo. I furrowed my brows, walking forward I picked up the picture. It was us.. Nick was smiling with his arm Kim and I as Bethie was sleeping in my arms. I remember Mary May taking this picture for us when we came down for a barbecue. He'd kept it on him all this time..? I smiled at the picture and slipped it into my vest pocket as my men walked into the cabin while I pretended to be interested in the canned goods.

* * *

I hissed in pain as Jacob sterilized my gun shot wound. I looked down at my shoulder a he started patching me up. I gripped loosely into my vest at the dull pain as he worked. "You know, I could have just gone to the infirmary." I muttered as I watched him, "I know what I'm doing, I had medical training in the army." He said as he continued, "Besides, I planned on checking in on you." I rose an eyebrow, "Oh yeah?" He nodded slowly, "I wanted to check in on how you were handling your Alpha position." I felt my heart rate pick up as I grew a bit nervous, "Pretty well, my Beta stood down and took orders when given." Jacob hummed softly as he looked up at me, "He told me what happened." I bit my lip slightly as I looked away, "The Resistance showed up. You had them hold fire, and then you took an awful long while in the cabin with Nick Rye." I looked down as he spoke and hissed at a suspiciously more painful stitching. "Wanna tell me what the Hell that was, Rabbit." I took a deep breath before speaking, "I was just watching over him, not my fault he took so damn long." Jacob put a bandage over my shoulder as he finished and he tossed the needle back onto the end table beside us. He was in my room now, standing in front of me as I sat on my bed. I shifted as he crossed his arms over his broad chest.

"Nothing. He got his shit and left, Jacob." He suddenly grabbed my jaw and forced me to look up at him. I gasped partly out of surprise, but mostly out of fear. "You and I both know that's a load of shit. You can't lie to me, I know all your tale tell signs now." He let out, and I looked up into his eyes, "You don't look at someone when you lie. You bite your lip when you're nervous. And you get all fidgety when you're trying to avoid a conversation." He whispered to me, as if anyone else would hear him.. "You and Rye are close. You can't hide that from me, I know. I watched him through my cameras. Searching all over for you like lost puppy." He muttered, and my heart throbbed in pain. "Now. One more time. What the Hell that was,  _Rabbit._ " He said before throwing me back slightly as he let go of my jaw. I rubbed the sore skin as I looked away from him. "Like you said.. We _were_ close.. But not anymore. He confronted me.. About the Cu- Project.." I stuttered slightly at the slip up, because I knew he'd caught it.. "Why I was being all Alpha with the group.. I told him I was one of you, that this was my life now." I looked up into his eyes, "This is my  _family_ now." I said as I stood, he didn't move back and it caused us to be closer than I'd intended..

"Look, Jacob. Nick was like a brother to me.. And before him I hadn't trusted a man.." I muttered the end as I shifted slightly, "Nick showed me that I.. I could be alone with him.. And nothing would happen, Nick is the one who helped me with my trust issues against the men around me. He showed me that not everyone was out to get me. So yes, he's important to me. And  _yes_ I talked with him.. Because I haven't seen him in.. Almost 6 months now." I let out, now rambling as I glanced up at him, "I trust him. I became a part of the Project because I was protecting  _him_. And his family. Because I love them.. but you guys are my family now. I'm not so naive to believe I can have it both ways..." I trailed off, my gaze slipping as he towered over me. "You're still weak." He growled and I looked up at him, before I could speak he moved away from me, "You are no longer an Alpha." "What?!" I gaped as I turned to him while he made his way to my door. "You heard me." He turned to me and marched over making me move back, "You're _weak_." He growled, "You let your emotions get in the way of your mission." "I still got the mission done, and I was the only one hurt. We could have died-" Jacob let out a rumbling growl in his chest telling me to shut the hell up. 

"I am  _your_ Alpha, and you will listen to me. You are not ready. You could have fucked it all up because you  _love_ the enemy." I was taken a back slightly at the tone he used when he said love. "It's not like _that_. He was my _family._ When you were separated from your brothers, didn't it hurt?" I tried to reason, but he held his ground, "I didn't let it effect those I was responsible for. Nick gives a damn about you, but he could have had my men killed over you." I tugged at my hair slightly as I turned away from him, "You can't do this- I just got the Beta to listen to me. I  _am_ strong, Jacob- _I am._ " I insisted as I walked forward but he moved away from me. "No. You are removed from your position." "Jacob,  _please_." I said as he grabbed the door handle, "Shut your damn mouth. If you were a true Alpha, you wouldn't let your emotions effect your mission. And you sure as shit wouldn't _beg_."


	7. Jealousy is a Disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy as hell, why do I picture Jacob so platonically sweet?

I walked down the hall after training, Jacob avoided me the entire time he watched over us. I turned to push my door open but was stopped as someone called my name. I turned around to a familiar face, "Lexxi." I greeted, "Hey babe, can I have a chat?" She asked, I opened my door and gestured her to follow. "So, I heard you're VIP status, hm?" I looked over as I tugged my shirt off, "At least I think I still hold that title if not an Alpha." She smiled as she walked to me, "Well, you're worked to the bone, you must need something fun to do." I rose an eyebrow, "You know, offering that while I am shirtless? Little sketchy." I laughed as I kicked off my boots, "Not that I'm not intrigued." She laughed as she sat on my bed with a bounce, "That  _does_ sound fun, but no -- I am inviting you to a private little place we like to venture to." She smiled, "See, I am all about the Collapse, and Eden's Gate." Lexx stood and walked over as I went to grab another shirt, "But before you turn into your PJs.. How about this? We've got a little secret club. Underground in an old bunker that we cleared out. It's huge, one of the first built before Joseph decided they needed to be bigger with the growing flock." She said with a smile, "It's a place for some sin we will have to repent for, and for letting off steam after training. You'd think after all day the last thing you'd want is to dance but it makes it that much more fun cause you _earned_ it."

I hummed softly as I looked down at myself. Usually I'd turn down something like this, but the anger boiling from last night told me the rules meant fuck all. "Let's have some fun." I smiled, and she grinned, "Awesome. Sneaking out is a little difficult but for you? They'll let you do anything, you're Jakey's favorite." I blushed slightly at this but rolled my eyes, "As if. I'll meet you outside the gates?" She grinned, "You got it, just wear whatever. I've got just the outfit for you at my old place." Her pale green eyes sparkled with mischief and excitement before she turned to leave, her long raven locks twirled around her as she moved. I pulled on a t-shirt and pair of shorts with my converse before walking out as I tugged my hair out of it's bun. "Ellie." Jacob's voice came and I froze in place as I teased my hair slightly before turning around, "Jacob." I spoke simply, "Where are you going?" I rolled my eyes slightly, "For a walk, got a problem with my nightly walks now?" I muttered as I messed with my hair as it fell in my face. "Alright. Go for your walk, be back before ten." I rolled my eyes as I turned to walk away, "Yes, _Dad_."

* * *

I looked at myself in Lexx's body mirror, she'd done my make up in a black and maroon smokey eye, making my bright eyes pop, then I wore a wine colored matte lipstick. The colors matched the outfit which was a maroon lace crop top, leather pants, and black knee high boots. My hair was straightened making it seem even longer, the silky locks draped over my shoulders and spilled down my back. "I have not been all dressed up in... God, years." I said as I turned to Lexx who laughed as she moved her hair over her shoulder, "Zip me?" I tugged the zipper up her tight crimson pencil dress over her fishnets, watching as she tugged on black fuck me pumps. "How do I look?" She said as she held her arms out, "Like a goth hooker." I said with a laugh. "Perfect." She grinned, "And you look like a tasty little snack I could eat _all_ night." I blushed as I rolled my eyes and she motioned me to follow her out to the car with a smirk. I hopped in with her and watched the sky as we moved through the dirt roads up to this club.

I stepped out of the car as she pulled over and lead me into a cave, "Lexx, if you went through all this work to kill me... Well at least I'll die hot." I chuckled as she grinned walking forward into the cave until we came to the bunker of the door. She pulled it open, and it was set up like Dutch's steps when you opened his up. I walked down following her lead as music started to bounce over the walls into my ears. We came in and it was dimly lit with strobe lights of various color with the beat of the song. She stopped at the door way before we went in, "You can stick with me or wander off?" I shrugged, "I'll stick with you since it's my first time." She smiled, "Well then -- Let's dance." I followed her onto the dance floor as we shuffled around the packed dance floor. The way the bunker was set up, they started with building the entire area before dividing into rooms which left a large open space. "The only rooms they ever built were the bathrooms." Lexx shouted over the blaring music, "Lucky us, all we had to do was build a bar." She laughed as she pulled me to dance with her.

After a million songs, and a dozen drinks I was loosened up, dancing with -- or maybe on--  Lexx as she held my hips laughing. I flipped my hair forward as I bent down before quickly coming back to turned to Lexx who grinned, keeping me up as we danced together. I laughed as we moved around and she moved in to whisper, "Want an extra little kick?" She asked, and I looked as she held up with a little packet with what looked like tiny pill in it, I couldn't see the color due to the flashing lights around me mixing with it.  I nodded with a giggle and she held my jaw to open my mouth with a laugh and placed something on my tongue. I hummed as I let it sink in. It didn't hit me right away but when it did everything started feeling fuzzy and warm around me. I felt as lights as a feather which caused me to move around a little wonky, I giggled and leaned into Lexx's ear, "I've gotta pee. I'll be back." I said as I stumbled away, as I looked around I could have sworn that I could see the traveling vibrations of the speakers wiggling in the beams of light that hit through the air as they moved around with the music. Every light seemed ten times more saturated than when I first walked in.

I shuffled into the bathroom and nearly fell as I opened the door. I laughed before hushing myself as I moved to the stall to take care of business. I pulled out my phone and saw that it was nearly 1 am, I giggled as I looked at it. "Woopsies, out past curfew. Imma be in trouble~" I sang to myself. "You're damn right you are." I jumped as I looked to Jacob who was standing in front of the door. "Woahly shit." I muttered as I held onto the sink, "This shit is intense.." I muttered as I walked up to "Jacob" in a wobbly dance. "You look so real.." I murmured as I grabbed for his face with my damp hands, I moved over his cheeks in awe as he tensed up, "Woah, so lifelike." "What the fuck did that woman feed you." He let out as I giggled, I moved back and felt my ankle roll, he caught me before I fell and I slowly looked up, "Wait.. In all of my years of being a schizo.. None of _them_ ever touched  _me_." I said as I looked up at him and felt my heart start pounding like a jack hammer in my rib cage, "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.." Did I just quote Heathers?

"What the hell were you thinking." Jacob growled as he helped keep me up, "I wasn't." I giggled slightly but pushed away in fear. "No, no.. You can't be here. I left  _hours_ ago." He sighed at me, "I followed you, I could tell you were lying about going for a  _walk_. I followed on foot though, didn't realize you'd hop into some car with a girl." He must not have realized it was Lexx, Too focused on me? Maybe? "I followed you to the house and was going to confront you two but you started.. Changing." He looked away,"So I tracked your tires in the woods, I came around when she fed you drugs." "So... You're stalking me?" I muttered and he glared at me slightly, "Let's go,  _now._ " He said as he grabbed my upper arm, I whined as he dragged me out of the bathroom and through the crowed, "How did  _you_ not get noticed?" I shouted and he just looked at me as we left, "There's a lot of people I guess, but you're like.." I held my arm up to gesture that he was tall.

I pulled my arm away from him once we were in the cave, "Hey!" I shouted as I stumbled back, "I don't want to leave!" I spoke like I was a grumpy toddler. "I don't give a damn _what_ you **want**." He growled, "We're leaving before you do something else stupid." I pushed him away as he walked to me. "Fuck you! You're not the boss of my life after training. I can do whatever I damn well please, Jacob. You're not my boss, you're not my dad, you're not- You're not responsible for me-" "But I am." He cut me off, "No! You're not. After we turn in for the day, you have no obligation to me. So just fuck off." I said as I walked towards the entrance of the cave, "The hell are you going now?" He shouted and I could hear the echoing of his footsteps following me. "You killed my trip, now everything is bad." I spoke in a slur as I stumbled out, "You can't wander off." He said as he grabbed my arm, "Why are you always so grabby!" I shouted in annoyance, "Always making me move how you want. Getting all up in my bubble making me all nervous and feel funny in my stomach." I mumbled as I leaned against the cave wall. "The hell are you on about." "You! Always doing this!" I gestured between us, "So close to me, barley a few inches away from me like you're..." I trailed off as I leaned over slightly feeling out off breath before moving back up to look at him as he stepped to me, "Like I'm going to what." He said lowly, I glanced up as I could feel the adrenaline sobering me up.

"Like... _I don't know_! _Why_? Why do you do this to my head. One minute you're acting like you're proud of me. Then the next I'm too weak cause I _care_ about people. Sorry I'm not an _emotionless robot_ like **you**! You... You damn.. Tree." I rambled, going silent as he took my jaw gently to make me look up at him, "You really think I don't care about anything? I _do_. I care about my brothers. My sister. I care about helping the nut to get what he wants for this damn thing. We're family and I care about them." I rolled my eyes, "But you don't care about anyone or _thing_ around you.. Or- How you have an effect on.. On them.." I murmured as my cheeks heated up, "You're just a _jackass_ , you bully everyone and treat them like _animals_." I let out, "Constantly on _my_ back, trying to make me _top dog_ , only to remove me from my position _not even_  a month later because I _talked_ to an old friend. Even though I am dedicating my  _life_ to you." I steadily rose my voice, pushing on his chest, "To all of you! Then the one time I need a break, _here you are_! Being confusing! **Again** _._ " "Excuse me for giving a damn." He growled, I shifted under his intense gaze, pressing myself into the cave wall as he put his arm beside my head. Jacob was close.. Closer than he'd ever been, the drugs that coursed through my veins made me hyper aware of everything that was going on. Every tiny shift he made as he enclosed me with those.. Big arms of his. "You're... You're doing the confusing thing again.." I muttered lamely, and he was letting out shallow breaths like he was trying to control them. 

"J.. Jacob?" I whispered as he closed his eyes, "You think I'm so damn confusing.. How do you think I feel. I don't know how to read you." He spoke lowly, and my eyebrows twitched, "You don't know what  _you_ do to _me_." I felt my lips part as I let in a soft gasp, "You're supposed to hate me. More than any of my siblings, I've hurt you the most, yes?" I nodded slowly, "But you're so damn  _nice._ " He growled as if that were a bad thing.. "You're kind, understanding.. Kind of person who wants to help someone get better.. Making me coffee, talking to me and understanding something no one else cares to." I looked down as I realized he'd remembered his drunken night, "I get so damn close because I don't know what the hell it means." He let out deep ragged breaths, "You don't.. You don't make sense to me. And it pisses me off because I don't know what the hell to do, and I don't want to.. Do the wrong damn thing." I looked up at him, "Just... Just do what you feel is right." His jaw flexed as he opened his eyes, "Nothing about what I want to do to you is  _right._ " _Wow okay.._

I took in a deep breath as my eyes fluttered when I glanced away before I returned my eyes to him, "But every time you look at me with those damned doe eyes.. It's like you're a deer in headlights, and I can never tell if you're scared of what I'm going to do... Or just scared of me." Okay today is open up time, and I don't know how to handle all this sudden... Emotion from  _Jacob_. I sucked my lip in slightly to chew on it as he studied me. "But every time I see you scared.. and nervous I notice it's very different." He pushed himself closer, his leg between mine, and our chests nearly touched. "And when you nibble on that lip.. I know I make you nervous -- Not scared.. and I don't know what to do about it but.." I scanned his eyes as he clenched his jaw to stop talking. "What..?" I murmured, "Kissing your stubborn ass. You think I don't care about anything? But I'd do  _anything_ for you if you asked." "Then do something.." I whispered as I stared at his lips, watching his jaw flex as he looked down at me. Jacob gently grasped my jaw and tilted my head back to make my gaze go back to his eyes, I studied his darkening blue eyes in the moon light and waited for him to move.

The moment Jacob pressed his lips into mine it was like the world stopped around me. I know that sounds cliche as hell, but every rustle of the trees in the cool wind of the night, the hooting of owls, chirping of crickets, the flow of a near by river, the music pouring out of the bunker and echoing around the cave -- All of it. Gone as I inhaled deeply, I moved to wrap my arms around his neck loosely. Shifting my head to kiss him back properly, when I did so a low rumble came from his chest, vibrating against mine as he pressed me against the cave making my skin tingle at the cool rock. He moved his hand from my jaw to wrap both arms around my waist to lift me up so that he wasn't craned over me. The rock walling scratched my skin gently as I wrapped my legs around his hips to steady myself. Jacob pulled away to place his forehead on mine, he let out a growl as I panted. Moving a hand to his jaw, I made him look up at me now, "Don't stop.." I murmured as I scanned over his eyes, his eyebrows twitched as he let out a groan before his lips crashed into mine. I moaned into his lips as I returned the kiss with a nip on his bottom lip gently causing him to growl, gripping into my hips tightly. He moved to kiss along my jaw, trailing down my neck I gasped out a moan as he bit into me, clawing at my hips. I let out a shaky breath when he kissed to sensitive skin, his hot breath tickling over my skin, "Jacob.." I muttered as he pulled away from me, "We should stop." He let out in a gravely voice and I nodded slightly as I moved my hand through his red locks, softer than I'd of thought. Jacob hooked his hand under my thigh and kept the other on my back as he let me down slowly so I didn't fall. "Let's get you home."

* * *

 I was on cleaning duty, since I got shot Jacob was making me take it a little easier on the training despite my protests. I was sweeping the halls with one of those giant brooms you see janitors use, I had a bit of trouble handling it right, but I got used to it after a while. "Ellie-Belly." Lexx's voice sang as she walked to me in her training clothes, hair hair bundled up neatly. "Hey, Lexxi, what's up?" I smiled, holding the handle of the broom up, leaning my cheek on it slightly, "Going for breakfast, but I see you're on cleaning duty? Why's that?" I chuckled softly, "Uh, Well the Father heard about what happened, and Jacob got an ear full about me still training." I lied, the stubborn old man wouldn't let me push myself even though that's.. His job. To push me to do more. "Ah, it pays being a favorite." She chuckled, and I shook my head, "You keep saying that, but I think they're just watching me cause they don't trust me.."

"Oh well that's a load." Lexx laughed, "Come on, Sweets. You're special, and we all know it. It's not easy to get that high ranking in the Family. Sure we're all the Father's children, but it's a rarity to become his brother or sister. When Faith became who she was, it was special. In the beginning there were other Faiths, but none like her. When I first heard you'd become all buddy-buddy with the Seeds? I thought something was wrong with Faith. That you'd be the new Faith." I rose my eyebrows at this, "But no, Faith is better than ever, and you're your own special Herald. Not that you hold that title yet or anything.. But the way I see it? You're in the running, sweetheart. No one's ever gotten as close with them as you have. I mean think about it: You have a home in the Jessop Conservatory, you leave every weekend with Jake to see the Family. You're a part of the holidays, Jacob  _killed_ a guy for you." I looked down slightly as I listened, "Joseph Seed is making _personal orders_ to take care of you, John treats you like his precious little sister, Faith adores you, and Jacob? Well, he pays a hell of a lot more attention to  _you_ when we're training. Not just the correcting and or praising. When you're not looking too." She grinned, "I think you caught the Solider's eye." I blushed but laughed her off, "Oh, please. Jacob is such an ass to me, trust me he's far from interested. Besides, that'd be a little.. Weird, don't you think?" Lexx rose her brow, "You kidding me? I'd jump that Mountain Man's bones in an instant." She whispered with a grin, "I know there's a big age gap, but I mean  _look at him_. I'm not blind, he's built to throw some lucky girl around a bit." She giggled before fanning herself dramatically, and I laughed at her.

I looked down as I laughed and shifted my footing feeling my over sized shirt slip on my shoulder. "What is this I see?" Lexx gasped as she moved one of my braids over my shoulder with the other, "Miss Ellie, Is that a hickey?" She grinned, I felt my face burn as my eyes widened slightly, "When you wandered off last night, I figured you'd had a bad trip, or you got a little over whelmed with everything-  _Something_ , I didn't know my girl was  _hooking up_." I blushed darker as I chuckled, "So, Who's the lucky guy- or gal?" She smirked, and I looked down. Well I couldn't tell her it was.. the "Mountain Man".... "Honestly, It's all a bit fuzzy." I chuckled and she gasped with a laugh, "Miss Ellie is being a little slit, what a shock!" She laughed as she checked her watch, "I've gotta get going, but when I see you again? _Details_."

I waved her off before continuing with my work. I was pushing the broom down the edge of the hall, when it slipped into a door frame, hitting a door open. I looked into it as the door creaked slowly to reveal the room behind it. I walked in as I noticed it was more.. Lived in than most of our rooms. People trained here until they left, so no one kept real personal items here. But there were pictures on the wall, and dresser. It had more of a vibe that someone had been here for a long time. I looked around the hall before leaning my broom on the doorway to slip inside. I scanned over the room as I pulled a rag from my belt and timidly started dusting to give myself an excuse to be in here. I wiped down the dresser, seeing that the pictures were of Jacob and his siblings. There was a metal shaped sort of like a cross, with a bulls-eye in the center, a small tag hanging off of it reading 'RIFLE'. I smoothed my hand over the pin as I looked over the dresser to a metal box in the corner of it, peaking out behind the picture frame. I bit my lip slightly and carefully moved the box to in front of me as I set my rag down. I slid the metal lid off of it and set it down quietly as I looked inside to the contents.

My eyebrows twitched slightly in confusion as I slowly pulled out a dog tag. Jacob wears his all the time, these couldn't be them. I turned them over in my hand and smoothed my thumb over the name that was in fact, not Jacob's. I moved it to my left hand, carefully placing each one into my palm until I held six dog tags. Looking over every name, birthday, rank, and religion. "The hell do you think you're doing." I jumped and nearly sent all of them flying to the floor, I scrambled to put them back into the box and backed away. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was your room, and I was cleaning and I just-" "Its fine." He reassured as he neatly placed them back into the box with metallic clatters. "It...it is?" I muttered as I looked up at him and he nodded slightly as he closed the box, "Yeah, if it were anyone else I'd be telling them to get the hell out before I ripped their head off." I slowly nodded as I stopped chewing on my lip, "Right.." I murmured. "But I don't mind of it's you.. Already pretty much know that part of my life anyways." He slid the box back behind the picture frame and then stands there so a small distance away from me unlike usual, "They're not trophies, if that's what you're wondering" "I wasn't.." I spoke quickly, and looked at the box, "I knew you were close with the people you fought with.. you said so that they were your friends.."

Jacob stared at me as he smoothed his hand over the dusted dresser, letting out a faint, almost amused chuckle, "Huh.. you're about the only one who wouldn't assume the worst. You're right..They're the tags of my fallen comrades.. We were together in a group home for years. Went straight from juvie to military the moment we could.. Wanted to make something of ourselves in the world. But one by one they were killed. I was the only one who survived. We didn't have any family who gave a shit.. so i kept their tags, I was their family in the end." I looked down slightly as he said that before moving towards him, I gently grasped his arms and he tensed up. I peeked up at him before scanning over the angry red splotches, they were rough in texture, almost leathery under my smooth finger tips. The way they felt, and appeared they must be from burns, ones that went deep and did a lot of damage. I looked back up at Jacob and pulled my hand away, "Sorry, I didn't mean to.. I got distracted.." I muttered, he looked down with slightly furrowed brows, "What..?" I let out as my cheeks tinted, "They don't bother you?" I tilted my head slightly, "Bother  _me_? No, I was wondering if they bothered  _you_ , they look like old scars, but they're so red and angry -- They look like they'd hurt." I said as I looked over his face to the less aggressive scaring over his cheeks.

"They don't, mostly they just itch, especially when I'm agitated or it's real hot outside." I nodded as I stared into his eyes rather than his scars, "So, you don't tense up because it hurts? Or it causes.. Discomfort?" I asked, he slowly shook his head, "Just because no one ever touches them. It freaks a lot of people out, don't want to come near me." I rose a brow, "It's just scarring, not like it's.. A disease." I said with a soft chuckle, "And I seriously doubt it was your fault." I said, he nodded faintly and I studied him for a moment, "Do they.. bother _you_?" I asked, "In the way it bothers them?" He looked away slightly to the picture frame on his dress. "I see.. Well, I don't care." I shrugged with a smile, and he looked back at me, his brows furrowed like they were last night. As if he couldn't believe that I was saying these things to him. I felt my heart stutter as he moved down to kiss me, I moaned faintly into the kiss, inhaling deep in surprise at the sudden affection. When he pulled away I sucked my lips in slightly out of habit and smiled slightly with rosy cheeks.

"You're surprisingly affectionate." I commented, he gently stroked my cheek to my jaw with a hum, "Ain't like I got a whole lot of years left. Don't want to waste them not kissing those pretty lips." I blushed as I smiled, "Fine, correction- You're surprisingly sweet." He hummed as he pulled me to him, "You bring it out in me.. I hate it." I chuckled as I looked down, wrapping my arms around him. I laid my head on his chest, listening to the deep rhythmic pounding of his heart as he held me. His warmth engulfed me, and I felt so oddly content in his arms. He was the scariest man I knew in person, yet wrapped in his arms I felt.. Peace.

 

 


	8. Made for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit shorter than I'd like, but lots of fluff? If that makes you feel better haha. Enjoy! :)

I let out a frustrated huff, throwing my blankets off of me as I sat up in bed. I rubbed my eyes and moved my hands through my as I swung my legs off the edge of my bed, making my way into the bathroom. I peeled my bandage off my shoulder, tossing it in the trash so I could redress it. As I smoothed the new bandage over me I looked into the mirror, biting my lip I smiled slightly. I felt like I had some school girl crush on Jacob, made worse by the fact that he liked me too. I'd been here for a while now, and most of my time was spent training here until I was ready for missions. Of course, I had been but Jacob took that away.. I'll have to talk him into letting me go out again, that day I ran into Nick was such a rarity, it was highly unlikely that I would ever see him again.. I moved back into my room to sit on my bed, slipping the picture from under my pillow into my hands.

I traced my fingers over it slowly, sighing at Bethie's happy pink face. I missed the way she felt in my arms. I missed the soft cooing she gave when she looked up at me in curiosity. I understood why I couldn't see them again, but it left my heart aching anytime I thought about Beth growing up and not being able to see her every step of the way.. I set the picture on my end table before getting up to change my clothes to go for a walk. Lexx had been right, I got leniency when it came to my ability to move around the Vet. center without being bothered. I walked along the path to the training grounds sluggishly. I was exhausted, but I still couldn't sleep. Only one of the most annoying things ever for me. I blame it on my lack of training. With that in might, I started making my way to beat the hell out of some dummies at 2 am. Once I was there, I kicked, punched, and even stabbed the thing until it became dull. Sparring with a dummy is unsurprisingly boring. I had been out here for maybe an hour, and I wasn't any more tired than when I'd come here. Sparring without a challenge was no fun at all. When I was with actual VIPs, or better yet, when I'd sparred with Jacob. That was the real fun, even if I lost to him, at least I'd lost to a challenge. I sighed as I put my robe back on as the chilly air bit at my skin. I looked up at the stars as I walked along the path back home. I searched over the constellations with a soft hum. Trailing over the sky to look for the dots to connect my star sigh, Pisces, as I searched the sky there was a deep thud hit the dirt path that snapped my gaze back to look ahead of me. When I turned my attention to the trail there was a Judge staring at me with an intense look as I froze in place.

Along it's white furred face was a different symbol than usual smeared in blood. It almost looked like the Aries symbol of the Ram's head, only the bottom was circular. I realized it was the Greek Alpha symbol turned to fit as it matted to the fur. I let in a deep breath as I stared at the large animal. Jacob had talked about how they were training the Judges to be stronger, to become Alpha level and walk along side the VIPs. It seems as though they'd succeeded' I thought as I watched while the large white wolf stalked over to me. It must have escaped the Judge's pen, and was looking for a better meal. I was the meal, wasn't I? I knelt down to the wolf's level as it watched me, stalking it's prey.. I bowed to show submission, I could only see it's paws molding through the dirt as it approaching me, and I looked up as it stood in front of me. I held my hand out cautiously, it backed away from me as I did so before sniffing my hand. I moved slowly to pet the top of it's head with closed eyes. Due to the fact that my hand was not being ripped from me, still very much attached, I slowly opened my eyes to see the predator nuzzle into my hand as I scruffed it's fur.

The Judge sat down in front of me, and I smiled softly, now petting  _him_ with both hands, scratching at his ears. "Well, you're just a big puppy." I chuckled as he licked me gently before I stood, and as I did so he followed suit. "Would you mind going back to your pen for me? I'm sure Jacob wouldn't want you escaping." The Judge pressed his head into my hand, and I pet him before moving ahead as he followed me, I lead him to the pen. Looking to the side of the pen to a bucket, I opened it to see some bait I could use to keep him in. I held up the chunk of meat, and his eyes snapped to it, shuffling impatiently as I slowly moved to open the cage. I tossed the meat inside, "Get it." I whispered and he took off towards it, snapping and growling at the other wolves as he ate. I locked the cage back and made my way back to the Vet. Center with a proud smile. As I moved down the halls of the building and made my way up the stair case I was focused on the fact that an  _Alpha_ Judge had listened to _me_. He was a sweet wolf, and luckily hadn't killed me. He actually listened when I brought him back to the cage. Following my foot steps, at my feet as we walked along that path.. I felt like a Disney Princess.

A sudden screaming broke me out of my thoughts, and I stumbled up the stairs as I quickly moved upstairs and down the hall. I feverishly glanced around at the moment of silence before another broke out. I snapped my head towards it and ran until I found where the source of the screaming was. As I stood there I realized I was just outside of Jacob's room. There were whimpers, yelps, and shouts of agony pouring out from the bottom of the door, and crawling up into my ears to settle heavily in my chest. My heart was cracking with every pained sound that I heard. I pushed the door open quietly and I moved quickly towards Jacob's bed where he looked like he was paralyzed in place out of fear as he attempted to toss violently. I climbed into the bed slowly on my knees as gently moving my hand to his arm in the dark. I felt his arm shift suddenly, and I moved away to dodge his punch, wrapping my arm around his wrist making him snap up to sit up slightly in bed. There was panting, and his arm relaxed slightly in my hold, I slowly let him go, "Jacob?" I whispered, and he moved to click his bedside lamp on. I closed my eyes at the sudden brightness before blinking to adjust. As I opened them again I looked to Jacob scanning over me it was as if he were trying to figure out if I were real, "Kid? What are you doing in here?" He trailed off as he looked to the clock on his night stand, "It’s three in the morning." 

"I was on a walk because I couldn't sleep.. And I heard screaming. I thought maybe we were being ambushed and rushed over.. But I realized it was you.. I came in even though I figured why you were screaming.." He rubbed his eyes as he sat up fully, his blanket falling into his lap to reveal his bare chest. Woah... I blushed as I looked away slightly when a deep chuckle came from his chest. "Why did you help me? It's usually best to leave someone with night terrors alone so you don't get hurt." He asked to change the subject back to why I had come, surprisingly letting it slide that I was bright red as I looked to him. "I couldn't just let you keep having the night terror. Those are horrible, I know you usually won't remember. But still.. I couldn't keep walking down the hall while you were screaming.." He hummed as he stroked my jaw line softly. "You're sweet, Kid." He let out before he stretched, "But I'm fine, you can go back to sleep." I shrugged slightly, "I was never asleep to begin with, and we have.. Like an hour or so until we get up any how." He nodded slightly as he looked over me.

I flushed under his watchful gaze, and he hummed before he held his hand out. I looked down at it, and he gestured for me to take it. I did so then was pulled forward and moved to sit with his arm around me as he held me close. I smiled slightly and leaned into him. "I don't mind you staying here until the morning. Would you want that?" I nodded slightly, I nuzzled into his side, rubbing over my smooth legs. "Are you cold?" He asked, I looked up, opening my mouth slightly to speak but he moved the covers over my legs before I could. I chuckled faintly as I smoothed my hand over the grey duvet. "I'm returning your position as Alpha." I looked over in surprise, "What? Really?" I gaped, and he nodded, "I was being selfish when I took it away.. You're one of our strongest VIPs, and I trust that you won't get yourself killed. I was just worried before." I smiled softly as I took his cheek gently, "Thank you. I was going insane not training or having really anything to do but clean." 

"There's one more thing." He started, and I rose my eyebrows in curiosity. "This is a.. an important topic because you're done training.. You live at the Jessop Conservatory, and that means you'll have a group in Faith's region. However, you can do missions for any of us if you're willing. The only thing that has changed is.." I looked up at him as he groaned, "We're.. involved." He said as he glanced at me, "And Joseph needs a title for us before he'll.. Allow that." I rose a brow, " _Allow_ it?" He nodded, "He's real weird about shit like this. If someone in the Project is involved, it can't just be.. Fooling around." I blushed slightly and nodded, "So, what -- We have to figure out what we are, and see if that  _okay_ with him." I asked, he nodded slightly, "It's ridiculous, I know, but otherwise it's seen as.. "a sin" and they'll make us do confessions." I scoffed slightly, "I've already atoned for my Lust. What -- Are they gonna make me get another scar, or tattoo." I'd been sarcastic in tone, but when he nodded, I took a deep breath before nodding with a sigh, "Then we'll tell him.." "I'll be telling him, he'll have more.. Joy about it if I come to him." I tilted my head, "Why's that?" I asked and he sighed, "Because I'm so damn old, and I finally found someone.." I blushed, smiling, "That was so lame." I teased with a chuckle and he glared at me in a non-threatening way. When I only smiled, his eyes softened as he slipped his hand over my jaw, his own flexing slightly.

He slowly moved over my bottom lip with his thumb. I blushed as he did so, he peered back into my eyes as he moved forward to kiss me. I moaned faintly as I pressed my lips into his, I shifted onto my knees to kiss him properly, he took my leg to move me onto his lap. I pulled away from this kiss, my face flushed darkly, he cupped my cheek as he gave me a reassuring look, “Just trust me.” I took a deep breath, nodding slowly as he pulled me back into the kiss. I melted into him, my arms resting on his shoulders, he hand his arms wrapped his arms around my hips, his hands placed on my back to rub comforting circles into my skin over my clothing. I smoothed my hands over his chest causing him to flinch, pulling away slightly. "It doesn't bother me.." I muttered in reassurance as I moved over a large burn on his left peck. He relaxed as I traced the scar, pressing my lips back into his. He slid his hands past the robe to trail up the inside of my shirt to touch my bare skin. I gasped slightly at his cold hands in contrast to my burning skin, I instinctively moved against him when I felt his pants tighten under me. He let out a deep groan, out lips pulled apart as he let out a faint gasp, his breath shaky as he held my hips in place. 

I looked down at him slightly, he let out a deep breath before glancing up, “You make me want things I can’t have.” He murmured, I bit my lip slightly as I moved to stroke his cheeks with my thumbs, "I never said you couldn't.." I whispered, and he groaned slightly, "I don't want my brothers on our asses for this.." I chuckled softly as I nodded, "It's probably too soon for.. That anyways." I said as I moved back slightly to look down at his chest, "I'll talk to Joseph over this weekends visit. He already considers you a part of our family. He'll just preach a lot more about it." I laughed with a nod, "I expect nothing less.." I trailed off as he looked deep into my eyes, "My brother will be talking a lot about marriage." He started, and my heart stuttered. "I don't want him to scare you off by thinking this means you have to." I shook my head, "I won't, if anything I'd think the guy would be more worried it means  _he_ has to." I joked, but he didn't laugh like I did, he just looked up at me in deep thought. "Jacob..." I murmured, "Don't worry, I'm not going to propose." I chuckled with a faint nod, "I'm not worried about being obligated. And if I were..?" He trailed off as he gently tucked my hair behind my ear, and gave a shrug. "Okay, you're romantic as hell, and I gotta be honest- It's..." I trailed off, "Well, not to offend you.. But it's weird." I chuckled, "Not in a bad way, just.. It's very unexpected of you." He hummed as he twisted a lock of my hair, "That's because you've only seen me hate. The ones I did love were my siblings, so it's not like I showed some gushy side." I smiled, "I like gushy Jacob. He's a very sweet man." He hummed, "You can blame a stubborn woman with the heart of a solider for him going soft."

* * *

 

I walked up to the house by Jacob's side, fidgeting nervously. "Don't be so jumpy. I'm the one talking to him. Besides, he already loves you." I nodded slightly as he gave a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder before he knocked. Faith answered the door, greeting us with big hugs. "I missed you two!" She beamed, looking to me, "I feel like it's been forever through out the week, but I'm glad we get to see each other." She pulled me in, leading me to the kitchen. "Come on! I've got something special planned." She beamed, and I looked back at Jacob who let a smile ghost his lips as I disappeared with Faith as he talked to his brothers. 

"Alright! So I'm having a sweet tooth, and I thought it would be fun to cook up some breakfast for dinner!" I smiled, "That sounds amazing, what all were you thinking?" I asked, and she hummed, "Well pancakes for sure, I know you like just the egg whites. So everyone will have their own eggs. Some bacon, sausage, and for Jacob biscuits and gravy -- He's not much of a sweets person, and that's his favorite." She rambled, and I made a mental note at that comment. "Sounds great, let's get started." It took us a while to get all the food ready, but once we did it all looked so amazing and I was starving. "Wow, we kicked ass." I chuckled at the large meal, high fiving Faith as she giggled. "Boys! We need your help!" She called out, taking the large pile of pancakes to bring to the table. I grabbed the biscuits I made for Jacob's plate, along with the basket for everyone else. I looked up at him as he came in the door. I set the plate of biscuits down, along with the gravy beside his normal place beside John. He smiled to me slightly as he moved to grab the rest of the little baskets, and plates. I grabbed the milk, orange juice, and apple juice to set nearest to who had what. Joseph and John liked orange juice, Faith loved her apple juice, Jacob and I drank milk. 

I sat beside Faith, and across from Jacob. Joseph at the head of the table with John to his left, and Faith to his right. I took Faith's hand as Joseph wanted to say grace as usual. I reached over to take Jacob's hand, squeezing it as I bowed my head. "I would like to thank the Lord for this food, and allowing my family to gather as one today despite the approaching Collapse, you have allowed us peace." I peeked up at Jacob who was looking at me. I smiled as he rubbed my hand with his thumb while Joseph continued. "And thank you, Lord, for bringing love in our home with our sister, Ellie." I looked at Jacob curiously to ask if he'd told him yet. He simply shook his head before we all spoke our amen in unison.

"Dig in, my family." Joseph smiled, and we all began to fill our plates with our foods. Chocolate chip pancakes with strawberry syrup, egg whites, and hash browns piled onto my plate carefully as I placed them. I moaned as I took a bite before I kept going until I cleared my plate. We talked about our weeks, and I told everyone about the missions I'd been on that week. How much supplies we'd stocked Jacob's bunker with from every prepper stash we could find, though I was sure we still had a few left. Faith talked about the new followers who have been helping her. John talked about his confessions, and how proud he was of them for atoning. Joseph talked about the growing family, and talk of building a new bunker even. I listened to them all as they spoke with happiness, and passion in their voice for the Project. Jacob and I were the skeptics, but so long as no innocent people were hurt- I supported them as did Jacob.

The boys were cleaning the dishes since we'd made such a large dinner. I moved to the bathroom connected to the living room to wash my hands, and clean off my face of any syrup that clung to me. I made sure I hadn't gotten anything on my clothes before exiting the bathroom. Going to see if the boys needed any help out of boredom. Before I pushed the door open I heard Jacob talking about something very important.. "I know that it's unexpected, but she's been with me training for a good while. Over that time I had been helping her nearly every step of the way even though she didn't need me.. I want to protect her, and I want her to be a part of this all the way through." I bit my lip as my cheeks heated up, "Oh, my brother. This is wonderful." Joseph's voice came with a chuckle, and the sounds of a hug came as they patted each other on the backs.

"You deserve this, Brother. After all that you have endured, all of your suffering. All of this was so that she may save you. God brought her to us for a reason, and now you can be as happy as you have always mean to be.” Joseph spoke happily, and Jacob gave a faint chuckle, “Thanks Joe, I’ve been waiting a long time.." He said and there was a brief silence. "Oh come now, you know that I adore our dear sister." John's voice came, "She is a wonderful person. But more importantly -- You love her.” There was a silence that fell over them, and I let in a soft gasp. "Admit it, Jacob, there's no reason you can't tell us." John teased, "Do you?" Joseph asked, it was quiet but his joyous laugh was all the answer you'd need. "Oh this is wonderful! I am so happy that God has given you this amazing woman. I cannot wait-" "Calm down before you go making plans for us, Joe. I don't know how she feels, I just know that she doesn't hate the idea of being with me. For now we're taking it slow."

I imagined Joseph nodding in understanding, "Yes, of course. That is how it should be, there is no rush in true love." I smiled softly at his words and listened for Jacob's response. "I want to take my time with her.. Some day soon, the Collapse will come, and I want to be sure everything is just as it should be when it does. We'll figure out what we want along the way." My heart melted as I listened. "Be sure that until then, you control your urges, brother." Jacob said slightly as his weight shifted as if uncomfortable with the topic, "I know, Joe. We're not ready for that yet." Joseph hummed happily, "Jacob. I know that you are taking this slow, but I will tell you now.. This woman was made for you." "Trust me, Brother.. I don't need you to tell me."

I heard heavy steps coming to the door, and I gasped before moving back to scramble away. Before I could slip into the bathroom to hide however, Jacob's voice came. “How much of that did you hear?” I turned around meekly with a rosy red face as he slowly approached, "I came in around 'I know this is unexpected'" I said softly, and he nodded as he tucked my hair back, "That's fine. I'm glad you heard, I would never have the guts to talk to you about that sappy shit." I chuckled as I looked down, "But when you said.. Or when John, and Joseph said that you... You weren't serious -- Right? I mean.. It's been months since I got here, but I didn't think you..." I trailed off at the look in his eye, I glanced to the stairs as I shook my head, "No.. No way, I -- I don’t believe you.” I murmured as I stepped back slightly with a soft laugh, “What if I did this?” He whispered softly as he pulled me into a deep kiss, I inhaled slowly, breathing him in as he molded into me perfectly as if we were two puzzle pieces finally clicking into place at the end of a 2,000 piece picture. When he pulled away I slowly opened my eyes to look up at him. His eyes were darkened, sparkling slightly as he looked down at me. They were soft, and inviting as he watched my own eyes probably clouded over with bliss. I smiled softly at the loving gaze, "I might need a little more convincing.."


	9. Temptation is a Slow Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning is sort of a music fic. Has dirty music to build a bit of tension, how bout that? It just happened, I dunno guys, it's based off something that actually happened to me lol

I stood over my bed as I folded my clothes into my bag. I looked to the door before grabbing my picture to slip into the suitcase before I piled my clothes onto it until I'd gotten them all back in. I took a deep breath as I moved to get my bathroom stuff. I pulled the bag with my phone out, and grabbed my toothbrush. I put the tooth brush in with my phone, walking out as I zipped it up. I gasped as Jacob stood in my doorway, "Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you, kid." He chuckled, and I smiled softly at him as I walked towards my bag. "How come keep calling me kid even though we're.. Together?" I asked as I put my little bag in a front pocket of my suitcase. "Old habit, I guess. You want me to go back to calling you Rabbit?" I twitched my nose slightly and gave a soft laugh. "How about I just call you Darlin'?"

My heart warmed at the pet name, and I smiled, "I like that." I said as I leaned against the bed. "Yeah? How about this?" He asked before pulling me into a kiss. I gave a surprised squeak but melted into the kiss. Jacob pulled away with a smile, "Cute little noise you made there." I rolled my eyes, hitting his chest to finish zipping up my bag. I pulled it up to lean on it slightly as it stood straight up, "I'm actually sad I have to go. Though it won't be the boot camp I miss." I chuckled, he smiled as he moved a finger through my locks, twirling it around slowly. I felt my cheeks tint softly as I watched him. "We should get you going before I decide I'm not letting you go." I laughed slightly as I lifted the bag only for it's weight to disappear as Jacob walked away. "Hey! I can carry my own bag" I called after him as he existed the room, "I know." He said as I jogged up to him, bumping into him playfully. "You ass."

I followed Jacob out of the building to the front, but I didn't see the helicopter. "Jacob?" I questioned as he walked on, "Yup?" He asked casually while he approached the gate. "Where's the chopper?" He looked at me, shrugging innocently before opening the doors of the gate and walking out. I furrowed my brows as I slowly followed after him. I gasped as I realized where he was going with this. "Oh my god, It's Baby!" I shouted happily as I jogged ahead of him to smooth my hands over the hood of my midnight blue 1967 Chevy camaro. I laughed as I rounded my way to the drivers side to ease into the black leather seats warmed by the beating sun. I smiled as I sat down, smoothing my hands over the steering wheel with a happy giggle as I hit my hula man's mohawk before hopping back out to jump into Jacob's arms. He let out a surprised sound before he laughed and hugged me back. "I can't _believe_ you got Baby back!" I beamed as I pulled away from the hug. "I had my men take it nice and quietly.. Got it fixed up and here we are." I smiled with a laugh, "That's so amazing, also -- _She_." I said before turning back to Baby to smooth over the good as new state she was in.

"Of course, my bad. Here  _she_ is." He corrected, and I chuckled softly turning to him as I leaned against her. "I thought since I'll only be able to actually see you on the weekends we'd have a little road trip." My heart melted, "You're the sweetest." I smiled widely, and he chuckled as he moved to the passenger side, putting my bag in the back before getting in his seat. I sat in the drivers seat, and closed the door behind me. Jacob looked over to had me the keys, I giggled excitedly and roared Baby to life. "Ahh... I've missed her so much." I let out as I leaned against the steering wheel, rubbing over the dash before sitting up. "You're the best boyfriend in the world!" I said as I looked over her before I froze. "Boyfriend, huh?" Jacob asked with a smug grin, "Ah.. No, shut up." I murmured as he chuckled, "Nah-uh, you kept avoiding that word before. If I'd of known all I had to do to get you to be my girlfriend was get you your..  _Baby_ back, well I would have picked her up a  _long_ time ago." I blushed at his comment, he moved to pull me by my cheek to look at him, "Let's get this show on the road, Darlin."

I drove down the road, loving the way it felt to finally drive Baby again. I groaned at the radio and clicked it off. "Hey, could you check under your seat for my CD case?" I asked, and he rose a brow at me as he reached under the seat. "How old are you again?" I chuckled, "I'm _26_. Look, Joseph said he didn't want phones or any real tech, so I pulled out my old CDs from when I was a kid. I didn't get to listen to music unless I shop lifted it." I said as I took a turn, he chuckled as he flipped through it. "Well, I've got a little goth one, don't I?" He commented and I rolled my eyes, "It's good music, and so what if I was goth. Still am." I said as I leaned over, "Alright, either pick on or pick one of the burned ones in the back." He chuckled as he flipped to the back, "Marilyn Manson, Tool, Korn, someone called Placebo, Metallica, Nirvana, and Bon Jovi" He read over the CD and I hummed, "Or Soundgarden, Green Day, Nirvana, Evanescence, Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit?" He chuckled and I hummed for a moment, "First one is good." I said as I kept my eyes on the room for anyone who might attack us. He slid the CD in and I listened to it. I sang along with the lyrics as I took another turn. I tucked my hair back as my pony tail whipped around in the wind.

I looked over to Jacob who was already watching me. I blushed with a smile as I sang along the lyrics pouring over us. I moved to slip my hand into his as I drove on singing shamelessly. The music was loud enough to drown out if I was bad, though I'd been told in the past that I had a pretty voice. I glanced over to Jacob, who flipped through the CD case with his free hand. I continued to sing as I drove around a slow turn when Jacob chuckled, holding a page up, " _Nickelback_?" He question with a laugh, " _Hey_ , I like them -- I don't understand why so many people hate them." I said as he laughed at me, I let his hand go to smack him in the center of his chest. "Don't make me play it, because I will!" He chuckled as he took my hand back into his, and I kept the big smile on my face as I watched the setting sun droop down the sky lazily. "Now that I think about it, honestly -- I like a lot of the sexual ones, so." I chuckled with a blush, and he looked over with a raise brow as he shifted in his seat to look at me. "Wha- Look, I was a 16 year old goth slut, what do you want from me." I laughed, "Besides they have hate ones and that just what I like. Liked, Liked, what I _liked_." I blushed darkly, clearing my throat, "Boy, I love this song." I stuttered as I turned the music up to keep me from opening my damn mouth.

Jacob turned the music down, and looked to me with a grin when I pulled my hand away, "Don't." I said in a warning tone, he chuckled deeply, "No, No -- What'd you mean, Darlin'?" He said, I shook my head and he shrugged as he pulled the burned CD of all my favorite Nickelback songs, "Which should we listen to?" He asked with a smile, looking over the list, "Figured You Out? Next Contestant, Shakin' Hands? Oh- Here's a nice one --  _Something in Your Mouth_? Just so many.." I whined slightly, "Jacob, come on, I slipped up cause I wanted to talk. Not embarrass myself." He hummed, "That's half the fun." I scoffed slightly as I let out a laugh. "You plan on being with me, you gotta show me your embarrassing side eventually. One day we're gonna be locked up in a bunker for seven years, and you won't be able to avoid it. Only then other people will hear it." I looked at him for a moment, slowing the car slightly as I realized I was distracted. "Darlin'?" He questioned, "You plan on being with me then?" He looked down to the CDs, "I plan on being with you as long as you let me." He said as he held the CD up, "So?" I smiled slightly, "It's in order of my favorites.." I murmured and he slid the CD in to play Figured You Out first. 

 _I like your pants around your feet_  
_And I like the dirt that's on your knees_  
_And I like the way you say please_  
_While you're looking up at me_  
_You're like my favorite damn disease_

 

I blushed as I realized  _just_  how dirty the lyrics were. There was a silence that fell over us as he listened to the song while I kept driving. The lyrics faded in and out of my ears as I drove, trying to ignore the images popping into my head when I did listen in.  _I like the freckles on your chest,_ I was arching my chest up to mold into him as he slid his hand up my stomach to my chest decorated with faked kiss marks of the universe over my skin, _And I like the way you're not impressed.. While you put me to the test._ I was sitting in his lap the night I spent with him again. Only this time we didn't stop, and I teased him mercilessly, _knowing_ he wouldn't do anything. _I like the white stains on your dress._ I flushed darkly at the line as I pictured us sneaking off during a sermon in my pretty little Sunday dress, dirtying it all up as Joseph spoke to everyone just on the other side of the wall.  _I love my hands around your neck_. A hot knot formed in my stomach as the image of his large, rough hands trailing over my smooth skin to grip into my throat as I let out weak moans while he teased me at a torturing pace. I gasped as I felt a squeeze on my burning inner thighs. Jacob massaged over my thigh as I drove, I let out soft pants, clearing my throat as I tried to focus on driving without getting us killed.

His hand slipped up between my thighs, and I gasped, easing on the breaks as I gripped into the steering wheel. His hand rubbed through my jeans, I let out a shaky breath, slowing to a stop on the side of the road towards a wooded area. I looked over at him and could feel that my eyes were clouded with lust. His pupils were blown up as he watched me, a slow smirk crawled over his cheeks, "Well come on then." He said, and I unbuckled my seat belt to move to straddling him. He groaned as he unbuckled himself while I shifted in his lap. We smashed our lips together hungrily, I ground against him as his jeans tightened, rising against me I moaned against his lips. I tugged my hair down to cascade over me before pulling my flannel shirt open to throw in the back seat. Jacob groaned deeply as he moved my hips to guide me over him. When I followed the rhythm obediently, he moved his hands from my hip to slip one up the back of my shirt, and the other to grip into my hair, pulling me away from his lips. I moaned weakly as he tugged on my hair to expose my neck to him. He kissed and nipped over my skin as he unclasped my bra with his other hand, pushing the straps off my shoulders to slip the garment off of me, I tossed it into my seat and moaned as he kissed over me. I watched him trail love bites from my collar bone, down my chest before he gently grazed his teeth over my nipple cautiously. When I moaned and gripped into his hair, he took the bud into his mouth to suck on it as he pinched the other. 

I whined when he pulled away panting, I looked down at him as I let out a weak moan of protest. "We can't, Darlin'. God, I wish we could, but we can't." I panted as I wrapped my arms over his neck to look down at him, "I don't want to make you get anymore scars or tattoos over me." "It'd be worth it." I said quickly and he let out a low grumbling sound. "It would, and I'd love nothing more to throw you out of this car and bend you over the hood of your car. But not yet." I blushed darkly, "Tease.." I murmured as I smoothed my hand over his chest to feel the vibrations of his chuckle, "You have amazing self control.." I commented, "You're a lot younger than me, Darlin'. I've had many droughts, I can wait." I leaned over to the back for my shirt, setting it in the center of our laps for now as I started to pull my bra on. "Wait for what? Or until when?" I asked in a playful whine, "Well.. If you're asking by Joseph's standards?" He asked, trailing off as I took a slow, deep breath at the thought. "Right.. We should switch seats.. I get too easily distracted." I murmured as I pulled my shirt on, "Alright, switch me, Darlin'."

* * *

I sat on my bed as I trailed my fingers over my blanket boredly. Faith and John had wanted to cook tonight, and I didn't mind at the time until I realized how boring it gets around here. I stood up to go see if they wanted any help, opening my door to Jacob, nearly running into him gave me déjà vu. "My brother said that since we're together, I should be sleeping with you." I looked up at him confused for a moment as I blushed softly, "Nothing like that, Darlin'. If only, I mean that we should be sharing a room when I stay here." He chuckled, I nodded, "I'd like that." I said, he nodded as he stroked over my cheek gently. "Faith and John are just about done with dinner if you want to come down." I nodded, "Sure, I was getting bored anyways." He hummed as he followed, "And of course, if we go down, that'll prevent you from trying to do anything." I blushed as I shoved him, He grabbed my arm and pulled me to his side to wrap his arm around me as we made our way down stairs.

I sat at the dinner table beside Jacob now while Faith sat across me, and John across him. "I'm just so thrilled! I could have never imagined that you and Jacob would fall in love!" Faith beamed, and I chuckled with a blush, "Oh, sorry -- I don't know if you guys are using the 'L' word.." I smiled softly, "Not yet, Faith." She giggled, " _Yet_." I chuckled, rolling my eyes slightly as I took a bite of my chicken, "So, you guys don't have anything planned yet, then?" I looked up, "Such as?" I asked, and she glanced to Jacob then back to me, "I mean.. Jake never really talked about what he wanted as far as that kind of life. But now that he has you, I was just wondering if may he.. Finally had?" She looked to him for answers, "Faith, we haven't been together long. We haven't talked much about the subject. But if it makes you feel any better; Yes, I've thought about it." I smiled as I cut another bite while Faith squealed, glancing up at Joseph who'd been quiet, just listening to us while a gentle smile. "With everything about the Collapse, and us all being there for all those years.. Ellie's made me think more about.. Not spending it alone, and we have plenty of time." He said, making me blush. "I didn't know you even had a romantic side." John said jokingly, and Faith hit him gently in response. Jacob looked over to me, and I smiled to him softly. Faith cooed faintly at us as we looked at each other. I chuckled as I looked down before looking up at her.

"Well, dinner was.. Interesting." I said as I sat on my bed, watching Jacob as he walked across the room. "Didn't freak you out?" He chuckled, and I shook my head, "It's pretty much what you've already told me. Only now you're telling others, somehow that makes it feel more.. Real." I said, and he sat beside me on the bed. “I just don’t want to screw this up.” He muttered as he moved his hand through my hair, "And neither do I, but I'll tell you now --  You're doing a hell of a job at making it wonderful. You are a  _very_ sweet man. You are kind at heart, loving deep down, and when you care about someone -- You're one of the most amazing and  _terrifying_ people I've met.. and you're giving me the honor of being one of those people you're.. You with, and I love that more than anything." I spoke softly, holding his cheeks in my hand, "It's not at all what I would expect of The Solider. Being some sappy romantic." I said, and he pulled me into his lap gently. "You make me that way.. I get all sappy around you because I don't want to waste any time we have together.. I'm not getting any younger, and you're still so young.. You're beautiful, in that 'prime of your life' stage where you could be with  _anyone_. Yet I was lucky enough for it to be me.. I'm damaged old goods, and you deserve better." I shook my head, "Jacob, I thought I deserved _worse_. You make me happy, and I make you happy I presume?" I asked, and he nodded as he rubbed circled into the small of my back, “Just trust me then.” I spoke softly, “I just hope I’m what you want.” I smiled, "You are, I promise.” 

He hummed softly as I stroked his scarred cheek, "Did you grow the beard out to cover it up?" I asked a I traced over the burn that traveled over into the scruff. He was silent as he watched me, and I gave a gentle smile. "I like your beard." I muttered quietly with a laugh as I touched it. "Shut up and kiss me" He said making me giggle before pressing my lips into his with a smile I tried to contain. I slowly melted into the kiss when he pressed his chest into mine to mold us together, I moaned when he pulled away from me. “You’re intoxicating.” He whispered, I gave a lazy smile as I stroked his facial hair. "Come lay with me, you sappy tree."

I opened my eyes to feel strong arms around my waist. I turned over to Jacob as he was sleeping, I inhaled slowly as I rubbed my eyes sleepily. I shifted in his arms to face towards him, nuzzling into his chest. His grip over me tightened as he inhaled a deep breath. I wiggled in his arms slightly to look up at him. "Mornin' Sunshine." He greeted in a gravely voice, and I smiled softly, my cheeks tinting pink. "Morning.." I murmured as I moved to not be smothered in his grip, smoothing my thumb over his jaw line. He hummed as he closed his eyes, "I have to go." He said, and I shook my head, "Nah, you can stay here." He chuckled as he moved to lay on his back before sitting up. I stretched as I sat up to watch him get ready. I followed him with my eyes as he put his bag onto my dresser across from the bed. I saw him hesitate in the mirror once he'd pulled out a shirt. I looked at him with concern, but when he glanced up at my reflection I gave him a reassuring smile. He looked down with a slight nod and pulled his shirt off. I put my hand up to my mouth to keep from audibly gasping as I scanned his back.

There were lash marks over his back, circular burns every now and again and deep scars ran over his back in multiple directions on him. I moved off the bed, he watched me approach him, turning his head to face me slightly as I came over. He looked back to the mirror as I stood behind him, I glanced to him as I held my hand up. He nodded slightly and I slowly traced over a lash mark. Gently moving my finger tips over his scarred existence. He watched me with an intense gaze while I memorized every scar like a road map. I pulled my hand away as he tugged the navy blue shirt on, turning to me he looked down with a sigh as he leaned against my dresser. I felt tears prick at my eyes as I gazed into his deep blue eyes glazed over with sadness. I moved to cup his cheek with a gentle smile as a tear rolled over my cheek. "Don't cry over me, Darlin'." He whispered as he pulled me into his arms. "Not over you.. _For_ you."

There was a knock at the door, and I pulled away to wipe the tears from my face, clearing my throat, "Come in." I said, and Joseph came in, eyes falling on me immediately, "Oh my dear girl, are you alright?" I nodded, smiling "I'm fine, Father." He cupped my cheek, "You do not need to call me Father anymore." He glanced to Jacob, "You are my sister now," He said as he looked back at me, stroking my cheek with his thumb, "I came to bring my brother home. Would you like to come with?" I nodded with a smile, "I'm more familiar with his territory, I think I'll start my role as VIP there for now. But I'll be home by dinner time." I assured him, and he nodded with a smile, "Alright, dear. Then come, come, we must be going."

* * *

 

"Alright, a couple of our newest Judges have managed to escape. There are five missing, I need you to bring them back. If you have trouble tracking them, you can use the bait, should bring them right to wherever you are at the time. While they chow down on the little snack, you leave a trail of other treats, they'll follow you the whole way." Jacob said as he walked by my men and I. "I'm sure you'll have no trouble, Solider. Caught you a big kitty cat this way, did you not?" He asked as he stopped in front of me, I looked up into his eyes with a slight grin, "Yes, Sir." He inhaled slowly and nodded as he walked back towards the other end of our lined up team. I contained my smile as I waited for his command. "Alright, you're released." He spoke, and my men thanked him before being on their way. I reached out to squeeze his hand as I walked passed him before I moved in front of my group.

We trekked through the mountains to follow the tracks left behind by the Judges. I studied the ground for the signs that Jacob had taught me, I followed them until a blood trail formed. I gestured for the men to be cautious as I crouched down seeing the off white fur of one of the Judges. I whistled before I tossed a treat its way, catching its attention to follow the treats. I looked to the man in the back of the group, "You." I started in a whisper, "Take this one home." I said, he nodded and moved around us to lure the wolf away from us and back to the Vet. Center. I motioned for the rest to follow me as I continued to track the pups, sending some off to follow blood trails until I was down to two other men side from me. There was one more wolf to find, and the tracks were easy to follow, it seemed that this wolf was bigger than the others by the size of its trail left behind.

There was a sudden screaming from the East, and we all turned to run after the source. One of the men I'd sent away was being attacked by the Judge I told him to follow. I cursed under my breath before running passed the men with me. I jumped in front of the Judge with the man pinned under him. I let out a loud whistle that caught the wolf's attention. I knelt down as it snarled at me, I held out a treat and watched her sniff the air as she stalked over slowly. When she was off the man, he scrambled up to go to the others while holding his bleeding shoulder. "Wayne. You take Thompson back to get patched up, lead her with you two." They nodded as Wayne took Thompson's uninjured shoulder over his to held him stand. "Jackson on me." I said as I climbed back up to where he was standing above the hiking trail. Moving back through the woods I followed our own tracks back to the blood that should lead us to the last wolf. 

I walked out into a large pool of blood with a mauled hiker in the center. I sighed as I held my AR at my side lazily while I looked for the wolf's trail. I looked over the large slope down to the trail below for signs of the Judge when I heard a snarling behind me. I turned to the noise as Jackson held his own AR up in alert, I searched the woods frantically for the wolf. When I spotted the predator, it lunged at me at lightening speed. I toppled back under the weight of the large animal, my AR went flying out of my hand as I was knocked onto the ground and sent tumbling down the slope. I let out a pained sound as I slammed into the trail that had been below as the wolf rolled passed me to stand in a ready stance of attack. I groaned in pain as I slowly sat up in place, I held my right arm as a sharp pain shot up and down my left calf when I put pressure on my ankle to stand. I looked at the large Judge, and recognized it. The blood matted fur with the crimson symbol of Alpha over its forehead. "Hey buddy.. Remember me?" I whispered in pain as I moved closer to the Alpha. Jackson came running from our right, distracting the Judge to snap at him. "Jackson. Stay put." I shouted as I stepped to the wolf, "Hey! Eyes here." I commanded, drawing the Alpha's bright amber eyes to me. "J-Jacob commands them in German." Jackson offered, and I nodded as I gestured the Judge to me, "Kommen." I spoke strongly, the Alpha lowered its head but still growled, "Schnell!" I shouted and the wolf stood straight to slowly make its way to me, "Sitzen." I commanded, and he sat in front of me. I let out a deep breath before I pet him, Jackson looked at me astonished. "Let's get him back." 

We walked back to the Vet. Center and I lead the wolf inside. I approached Jacob as he came out to us while I lead the Judge. "So, you got them all back. Very good." He looked down at the Alpha at my side with a raised brow, "He's following you." He comment, and I nodded simply. "It was insane boss, she just started commanding him, and he actually listened." Jackson said as Jacob watched me pet the Alpha. "Interesting.. Pierce, would you take him back to his pen?" I nodded, "Yes, boss." I said before leading the wolf away with a simple gesture. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me as I lead the wolf away, watching as I pet him good bye before he went into the pen.

 


	10. But it Feels so Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

We were having our weekend dinner as usual, and I felt a bit more giddy than usual. Since I'd moved back to the Jessop Con. two weeks ago, I wasn't used to not seeing him -- It was the longest I'd been away from Jacob in months due to the fact I'd been in the Boot Camp. Now I only saw him two to three days a week -- It was an odd thing to miss Jacob Seed, almost a year ago he would have been the last person I'd ever want to see. Now I could hardly wait for the knock on that front door. I was in the kitchen with Faith washing dishes we'd need for dinner tonight when there was a knock at the door. I felt my ears twitch at the faint sound, drying my hands off I moved passed Faith to the door. "I got it!" I said as I jogged over, opening the door a faint wash of disappointment came over me when I saw John. But I smiled anyways as I opened the door wide, "Hey, John, It's good to see you." I smiled as we shared a big hug, pulling away he smiled as put his hand on my jaw gently while looking at me, "You were hoping I was Jake." He said with a slight grin, and I blushed as I playfully slapped his hand away, "Shut it, Johny, I won't take this from a fellow family member in love." I replied, he smiled gently before ruffling my hair as he walked passed me.

"Speaking of, is your little lady joining us?" I smiled, John told us about a woman he'd met, she joined the Project months back, and had stuck by his side. Following every word, confessing to him everyday even when there had been nothing to confess. I hadn't met her yet, but we all awaited her visit since he told us last week. "She may or may not be." I glared at him playfully, a side smirk making its way to my lips, "So she is then?" He shrugged innocently and walked into the kitchen with a grin. I chuckled as I turned to close the front door, when I turned I saw Jacob. My heart did a funny dance at the sight of him, and I still wasn't sure how to act with him. He never struck me as the touchy-feely type, not one for PDA, or big gestures either. But when he saw me looking up at him, my face likely riddled with excitement and hesitation, he smiled before opening his arms to me. I smiled as I walked forward into his arms, hugging around his waist, burying my face in his chest to take in his scent. His arms wrapped over me, engulfing me in his warmth as he gently squeezed, moving a hand to play with my silky locks. When we pulled away I noticed Jackson was behind him, I looked at him with a confused expression, Jacob smiled as he stepped away for me to take in the scene behind him.

Jackson stood with a bewildered expression, likely due to the display of affection from Jacob, leash in hand as he gave me a slight nod in greeting. I followed the leash to the Alpha Judge from before. I looked up at Jacob in confusion with where he was going with all of this. "I noticed the pup took quiet the liking to you before. He doesn't listen to anyone but me. So, I thought since you were able to keep him in line, and I won't be needing him.. You could have him." My eyes widened at this, stepping towards the Alpha slightly as I gaped, "Wha- Are you serious?" Jacob nodded with a ghosting smile, I laughed in surprise, looking down at the Judge with a big smile. I knelt down to him, and he tugged on his leash at my offer of affection. I looked up to Jackson and nodded for him to let go. He did so, and I was practically attacked by the Judge with love. He knocked me back, and I laughed as I pet him, moving away giggling as he licked my face. "Zurück, Zurück" I chuckled as I sat up, he obeyed and moved off of me, taking a step back as I sat up. "Gut." I smiled, scratching his ears. "He's your Alpha now, so you get to name him." I looked back to Jacob with a wide smile, "Osiris." I said as I turned to the Judge, "You like that? Osiris." The Judge howled and I felt my heart melt, I absolutely loved the sound of wolves howling.

"Osiris it is." I chuckled, as I pet him. "Why that name?" Jacob's voice came as I jumped up off the ground, "Osiris is the Egyptian God of the afterlife, the underworld, and basically death. But more importantly; The God of the Moon." I smiled, and he nodded as he looked down at Osiris, who came up to my hip level. "Suits him." I hummed as I pet the wolf. "Would Joseph even let me keep him in? I don't like keeping animals in cages." I said as I pet him, "He's a wolf, not a puppy." Jacob chuckled, "He needs to sleep somewhere he's used to. Don't worry, I had a big cage brought for him to keep out in the green house closest to the place. He'll have everything he needs, Darlin'." I nodded as Osiris nudged my hand to pet him, "If you say so." I said as I smiled down at him, scratching under his chin.

Jacob and I sat at the table with Joseph as Faith and John cooked. John wanted to be the one cooking since his guest  _would_ be joining us tonight. I looked up as there was a knock at the front door, John turned at the sound. Brushing off his clothes, straightening them out to be nice and neat as he walked out the door. I smiled to Joseph as he left to answer the door. "Our family continues to grow." Joseph said happily to me as he took my hand gently. "I hope it continues to do so." He commented with a warm smile, glancing down to my belly. I looked to Jacob with a pink tint in my cheeks, he chuckled at the expression as he took my hand. The door opened behind us, and we all looked back to John who entered with a beautiful young woman. She had long waves of cinnamon honey blonde hair. It was tinted with a shade of ginger over the dirty blonde. The locks spilt over her shoulders in gentle curls. She had big doe green eyes the color of morning dew. She wore a long sleeved white button up style dress with a floral pattern of pink roses over it, her slightly tinted legs showed she wore pantyhose, and a pair of black heels over her feet as she stood beside John making her only around 3 inches shorter than his 5'10'' self with the added inches. Though she looked as though she was closer to 5'5'' when the heels were absent. 

"Everybody, this wonderful woman is Grace. Grace, these are my brothers: Joseph and Jacob, and these girls are my sisters, Faith and Ellie." He said as he pointed to the each of us. I smiled, and we all greeted her as she smiled, "It's so nice to formally meet you all." She spoke softly, looking to Joseph, "It's an honor, really.." Joseph smiled as he stood, "Do not fear, My Child. We are all family in this house. Not all by blood, but by heart." He reassured, and gestured to me with a hand set on my shoulder, the other on hers. "You will be our second addition now." I looked up to her with a smile as I held Jacob's hand in my own. She looked shocked, "I know, I was as surprised as you are." I chuckled, and she smiled as she relaxed. "Welcome to our Family." Joseph smiled as he lead her to the seat beside Faith, leaving John in the last seat at the opposite head of the table as Joseph. 

"After supper I will be preforming a baptism, if you would like to join us." He said to Grace, but looked to the rest of us as well. "That would be wonderful." She said with a smile as John held her hand, Faith agreed, and I bit my lip slightly, "I'm sorry, Joseph --  I didn't know, I promised Lilly that I would help tend to the garden after dinner." I said, and Jacob sat up more in his seat, "And I planned on hunting for tomorrows dinner as per Faith's request." Joseph smiled, "That's quite alright you two, be sure to stay safe brother, and you have fun with Lilly my dear sister." I smiled with a nod as we began to eat.

"We have plenty of new members this week, and I will be preforming each of their ceremonies. We may return home late, so I will say goodnight now." Joseph said as he stood in the door way, I smiled as he move to press his forehead into mine for a short prayer before hugging me. Then repeating the process with Jacob, we waved everyone off as they descended down the drive way. I turned to Jacob with a smile, "Be safe while you're hunting -- You should take Osiris with you so he can learn the lay of the land." I said, and he nodded with a slight smile, "And you enjoy your..  _gardening_ , Darlin'." I chuckled at the slight sarcasm in his tone, "It's very relaxing actually." I smiled up at him as we made our way out the door onto the front porch down the stone path into the green house with Osiris' pen. "I'll be back in an hour or two." He said as the wolf made his way to Jacob's side. "I'll see you then." I smiled as he leaned down to give me a long kiss. I inhaled deeply as I returned the kiss, pulling away once my cheeks started burning. He chuckled as he pinched one of the rosy cheeks before leaving.

* * *

Lilly and I were finishing up on the last bed of Bliss flowers for the day when she looked up at me. "We've talked about everything in the world but one thing, Ellie." She smiled, and I looked at her curiously, "Jacob." She sang slightly with a giggle when I blushed softly. "You haven't told me all about it yet." I chuckled as I patted the dirt down before dusting my gardening gloves off, "Well, I haven't actually talked to anyone about it side from telling the Father, Faith, and John about us." I said as I pulled my gloves off, and she moved to sit beside me as she removed her own gloves. "We still have some time before Jacob comes back." She commented as she grabbed the pitcher of lemonade she'd made us, refilling my glass as she waited expectantly. "Alright, fine.." I said as I took the glass with a smile, "What do you want to know?" I asked before taking a sip of the perfectly made drink, just the right amount of sugar, but still a bit tart in the best way. "So much." She chuckled as she took a sip, swallowing it with a sigh before speaking up again, "Who kissed who first? Did he ask you out? Is he romantic with you? Do you love him?"

I laughed as I cut her off, "Alright, alright -- Slow down... He kissed me, we never really asked one another out so much as.. It just became a thing and we both wanted it to be that way.. Sort of a mutual decision rather than one bringing it up." I chuckled as I realized I rambled a bit, biting my lip softly, "He is romantic with me in his own way. He's not afraid to show affection, or tell me what his end goal is with us regardless of how long we've been together, it's what he sees." She smiled warmly, "Which is?" I looked to her as my face heated up, "Being together after the Collapse.. And while he hasn't directly used the word.. Marrying me.. At least that's how it seems." I chuckled as I took another sip of my lemonade. "Do you want to marry him?" She asked, and I slowly looked over, "I'd never really considered getting married before." I admitted, and she nodded, "Well.. Do you love him?" She asked softly as she leaned towards me, bumping our shoulders together in a gentle sway. "I... I think I do.. " She gave another warm smile, "I see it in your eyes. When you look at him, no matter what it is he's doing. Talking to you, giving you Osiris, or just looking at you." She said, and I glanced down briefly as I gave a slow nod of confirmation without saying anything. "Then I think you know your answer." I stared at her for a moment before I looked into my glass.

"Hey ladies." Jacob's voice greeted a few moments after the silence began. I stood quickly in surprise, looking up at him as Lilly stood with us. "I need to head home, you two have a wonderful evening." She said as she slipped away, giving me one last knowing smile before she left. "How'd you do?" I asked, and he nodded slightly as he pet Osiris, "We did real well. I got the stuff ready to be cooked tomorrow." I smiled as I gave a nod, "How'd you girls do?" He inquired as he stepped back to let me passed him to walk back to Osiris' pen. "Good, the flowers are blooming nice and healthy. We had a lot of fun." I said as we got to the other green house. I pet the wolf before watching as Jacob lead Osiris into his pen where he settled in for the night. I looked up at him with a funny stutter in my heart as he watched me with his sharp blue eyes.  _I think you know your answer._ Lilly's voice echoed as he cupped my cheek, pulling me in for a kiss. "Let's get you inside." He said as he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. 

I let him guide me inside as I watched the setting sun. "I need a shower." I groaned as I looked at the layer of dirt over me from gardening. "What a coincidence, so do I." Jacob said as we walked through the door, and I looked up at him, "You mean..?" He glanced back to me as he walked up the stairs, "Would you be opposed?" He asked, and I shook my head, "Not at all." He chuckled, "Then come on, Darlin'." I followed him into my room, I made my way passed him to get clothes out of my dresser while he went to his bag on his side of the bed. I pulled out a black long sleeved shirt, and a pair of sleep shorts that were purple and grey diagonal stripes. I turned to Jacob as he held a pair of sweat pants. "It's your bathroom, lead the way." He said, and I nodded slowly as I moved to the room between mine and Faith's bedroom. I locked Faith's door in just encase they came home. I turned as Jacob locked my door and opened my cabinet so that I could get us towels. I handed him the dark blue one while I kept my fluffy teal towel. He took it and watched me move to turn the water on, "I like it boiling hot, that alright with you?" I asked softly, looking up at him, "Perfect." I could feel my cheeks heating up at he watched me intensely while I turned the knob all the way up. 

Jacob slowly took my clothes from my hands to set it on the sink counter with his own. I chewed on my lip in a soft nibble, he watched as I did so and gave a soft chuckle. I watched as Jacob slowly tugged his shirt off, looking down at me while kicking his boots off as I let a soft breath in while I studied him. I reached for the hem of my shirt to pull it off, tossing it into our hamper once it was off. Jacob followed suit with his own shirt as he gazed over me with hungry eyes as I reached behind me to unclasp my black lace bra. I let it fall off my shoulders, moving to toss it in the hamper. Jacob's jaw flexed as he scanned over me before he returned my gaze. I took a deep breath as steam filled the small room, fogging over my vision slightly. I watched Jacob slowly unbuckling his belt, slipping his button open, and sliding his zipper down I stepped on my converse to pull my foot out before repeating the motion so that my shoes were off by the time he'd let his jeans drop. I felt my breath turn shallow as he tossed them aside, I unbuttoned my jeans, pulling the corners, one up, and the other away from my body so that the zipper came down to reveal my slate blue underwear. I slid my tight jeans off of my body and into the hamper along with my socks. I watched as Jacob hooked a thumb into the hem of his black boxers. I kept my eyes on his as I saw the fabric disappearing, I didn't look down yet, removing my own underwear to drop onto the ground around my ankles. His jaw hardened as I threw them into the hamper.

He stepped towards me, but I moved back to slip into the shower with a smile. I heard him chuckle before stepping into the shower with me. He watched as the water poured over me, my blonde hair darkening to a shade closer to brown as it got soaked by the stream. Jacob's hands moved over my waist, I let a soft gasp out at the contact as his hands trailed over my body, pulling me into him. I opened my eyes once safe from the water stream from getting into my eyes. I moved my gaze over Jacob's chest along with my hands as they moved over his body. I felt skin that rose up in ridges, and looked over to the part of his rib cage that hid under his muscular arms _LUST_ was cut into his skin. I traced it as he did the same to the  _WRATH_ scar on my torso. I looked to the underneath of his right arm, his  _WRATH_ was carved there, and he found my  _LUST_ on my inner thigh, ghosting his fingers over it cautiously. 

I looked back into his eyes, moving the ginger locks that fell over his eyes from the water weighing them down. I smoothed my hand over his jaw, letting him press our bodies together as I leaned up slightly, standing on my tip toes for him to meet me half way in a kiss. He inhaled each other as our lips met, my arms wrapped around his neck, and his grip around my waist tightened as he lifted me up slightly. I pulled away due to the steam filling my lungs making it harder to breath, Jacob slowly placed me back onto my feet. "We should actually shower first.." I chuckled softly, and he nodded in agreement. We watched each other as soap was scrubbed into our hair, switching once my hair was rinsed out so that he could do the same while I started scrubbing my body clean. He watched me with his blue eyes darkening so much so that they appeared sapphire as he looked down at me, pupils blown wide as I slipped the scrubbie over my breasts. When I was all soaped up, covered in suds I looked up into his eyes, "Switch me." I spoke, and he did so so that he could wash himself now.

I watched as the suds traveled along the burns, scars, and every curve of his muscles. Rippling over his abs as they slid down to his legs. I took in a deep breath as I let my eyes travel down the little happy trail of ginger locks. I bit my lip as I saw how well endowed Jacob under all of those clothes. He slowly tilted my gaze up by guiding me by my chin. I looked up at him with my big doe eyes shining with innocence that wasn't true to me. He took me to a kiss, nipping at my bottom lip hungrily as he moved to press me into the shower wall. I held onto his upper arms as I gave a soft moan when he pushed our bodies together. I gasped against his lips as I could feel Jacob wanted me as bad as I wanted him. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, and I shivered slightly as he explored my mouth, I slid my own tongue over his to twirl them together as I trailed my hands over his stomach slowly. He pulled away from the kiss slightly but kept our lips together, grabbing my wrists and pinning them up on the wall. I moaned into his lips as he kissed over my jaw down my neck before he came back up to press our foreheads together, "We should get out before the water starts freezing." I realized that the water had started turning cold, and nodded as he moved away from me to turn the water off.

* * *

 

I jumped in my sleep as a scream cut through the silence of the night. Snapping my eyes open as my heart hammered in my chest, I turned to where Jacob was laying. He let out a pained cry, and I moved carefully to be closer to him. His arm was still around me as he was paralyzed in his sleep. I grabbed his other wrist gently, and shook him slightly. His fist shot up and I gripped into his wrist to stop him, he shot up in his sleep to flip me onto my back, pinning me under him as he gripped my wrists, pressing them into the mattress painfully. "Jacob." I whispered, and his eyes searched mine in realization, "Fuck. I'm sorry." He said as he lifted off of me quickly, moving to sit beside me. I slowly moved to sit up with him, "It's alright, you didn't hit me." I chuckled softly as I rubbed my tired eyes before letting out a yawn. I rubbed his back as I leaned into his shoulder. He hummed softly, grabbing me to pull me onto his chest once he laid back down. I squealed quietly in surprise, looking up at him as he held me in his arms, "Jacob, are you-" "I love you." He let out in a soft voice barley above a whisper. I froze at the words, and he opened his eyes to look down at me, "You don't have to say it. I wouldn't believe you if you did." He said, and I leaned up to kiss him. “It was you the whole time.." He whispered as he pulled me away, stroking his thumb over my jaw, "It was always only every you.” He said as my hair fell over us slowly like a curtain.

“Tell me again.” I whispered as I looked down at him. "I love you." He said, his eyebrows twitching as he scanned over me before pulling me back into a kiss. He slowly moved to where he was sitting up, and I was straddling his lap as we continued to kiss. I pulled away to remove my shirt, throwing it to the side. He followed suit, and I hummed as I smoothed my hands over his naked chest while he moved his hands over my back. Our bare chests pressed against each other as he pulled me close. I moved my hips over his causing a slight hiss from his lips as he pulled ours apart. I rolled my hips forward slowly causing him to let out a low growl, kissing down my neck, and to my chest. I gasped as he sucked my nipple into his mouth, gently grazing his teeth over the dusty rose bud. I whimpered when he let go suddenly. I felt him harden under me as he tugged at my rising nipples. I let out a shaky gasp as I rolled my hips onto him. 

I gasped as I was flipped onto my back again, Jacob hooked his fingers under the hem of my shorts and slipped them off in one move. I blushed darkly as he tossed them away from me, "Is this okay?" He asked lowly before going any further, I nodded as I looked up at him. I pulled him down for another kiss as he pressed into me causing me to gasp slightly into the kiss as he rubbed himself between my legs. We tangled our tongues together in a bit of a mess as he pressed into me, moving against me more roughly than before. I pulled away panting when he rubbed against my clit, pressing into it through the fabric of our clothes. I was left only in my underwear, and he was still in his PJs. He moved away from me panting and glanced down at a darkened spot on his sweat pants, he growled deep in his chest as he looked at my soaked underwear that had caused the spot. "Jacob.." I whispered, pulling him to look at me. "I want to taste you." He murmured, and my face flared brightly. My swollen lips parted as he scanned over my eyes, I gave an slow nod of approval and he closed his eyes, eyebrows twitching again.

I watched as he moved off of me, down the bed at a slow pace. He looked up at me as he moved to pull my underwear off, out of embarrassment I closed my legs slightly. Jacob put a hand on my knee and pressed my leg to the side, spreading them back open when I allowed him to do so. He groaned as he looked down at me, moving his hand down my knee before removing it from my leg, he slid a finger over my slit slowly. He took a deep breath when his finger was wet as he pulled it away, moving to press his thumb into my clit. I gasped as he did so, wiggling under him slightly as I let out a soft moan. He was watching my reactions as he pressed circles into my hot flesh. I arched my lower back up as the electric pulses shot through my body and crawled back to coil in my belly. The weight on the bed shifted, and I felt his beard tickle my inner thighs. My legs twitched at the feeling as he slowly moved further down. I let out a choked gasp when he took my clit into his mouth. Suckling on it with a groan that tingled against me. I slid my hand through his hair, feeling the short strands growing in on the shaved part of his head. He moved his tongue over my slit in a teasingly slow pace, circling around me with the muscle.

I twitched when he moved back up to my clit, suckling on it gently before softly grazing his teeth over it. I gasped, my hand gripping into his hair tight at the powerful pulse that shot up my spine. He did it again, suckling it with pursed lips so that my clit was sucked into his teeth to where it didn't hurt, only left me trembling. He cautiously nibbled on it as I twitched, moving his arms to hook around my thighs as to keep me in place from getting hurt. Once I was still he slowly rolled my clit in his teeth, I let out a shaky gasp, gripping both of my hands into his hard as he continued. One of his arms moved from the hooked position, pressing my leg open with his elbow. I felt his finger rub over my entrance before plunging into me. I moaned, turning slightly to muffle it with my pillow. He made a beckoning motion inside of me, pressing into the roof of y insides. I moaned loudly into the pillow when he pushed on my sweet spot, I felt him smirk between my legs as he pushed into the spot roughly to force a moan out of me. I bit down on my lip as I buried my face in the pillow while he moved his finger over the spot quickly. I jolted slightly as he pulled his finger out, spreading my lips with his fingers before slipping two fingers back into me this time. I gasped at the sudden stretching at the unprepared intrusion, he twisted his fingers around to press into my sweet spot again.

I arched my back as I moaned into the pillow, dropping back down when my muscles started to ache. Jacob moved his fingers inside of me in a scissoring motion that spread me open, stretching my tight insides for him. I let out a whimper of protest when he removed them from inside of me to suck my whole cunt into his mouth. Flicking his tongue over my clit as my legs trembled around him. I tried pressing my legs together out of embarrassment but his forced them to stay open. "Do it." He said against me causing vibrations to move over me making me whimper, "Cum into my mouth." He said in a low growl, but I convulsed, twitching as I tried to stop myself from letting go. Too embarrassed to do what he'd said, his nails gripped into my thighs as he sucked harder on me causing a choked out moan to fall into my pillow. "Do it. That's an order." I let out a shaky, hollow breath as I unraveled at the phrase. My body was paralyzed with pleasure, it only jolted weakly as my vision flooded with white. My orgasm so intense I could taste it in the back of my throat as I trembled weakly at every touch.

Jacob pulled away slowly, swallowing his saliva mixed with my juices, he licked over his lips with a low hum as he looked down at me, “Don’t give me that look.” He let out in a groan, I panted softly as I scanned my eyes over him, "What look..?" He groaned slightly, "Like you need more.. Darlin' -- You have no _idea_ how much I want you.” I glanced between our legs, slipping my hand down, "I think I do.." I murmured, and he growled as he grabbed my wrist, pinning it down to keep me from touching him, "I’m trying _not_ to fuck you senseless right now.” He let out in a low, rumbling growl. "And I'm trying to _get_ you to.." I muttered, he looked up at me with a groan, taking in a deep breath. “We have to be quiet. _Extremely_ quiet.” I nodded eagerly as he allowed me to slide my hand down his stomach, his jaw flexed as my fingers slipped passed the hem of his sweat pants. I watched his reaction as I gripped my hand around him, tugging on him slowly. A deep growl came from his throat and he yanked my arm to move my hand away, pulling his pants down to expose him, but not all the way off.

"Stay still. Don't move a muscle." He commanded, and I nodded as I stilled myself. I looked down slightly to watch a he placed my thighs on his own to angle me upwards slightly, he gripped himself, moving down to press against me. I arched my back out of instinct and his other hand pressed into my hip to push me back down. He slowly grazed over my slit, and I let out a trembling breath at his length. There were slick sounds coming from between our legs as he pressed passed the lips, sliding himself back and forth over me teasingly. I whimpered as he pressed the head of his cock onto my clit, pushing into it causing the area to throb with pleasure at the sudden pressure. He moved the head over my clit making me squirm under him as I bit into my pillow to keep quiet. Jacob slipped over the bud quickly making me so wet I could feel it on my inner thighs as he moved over me. I let out a weak moan when he pressed against my clit again, he slid the head over to tease me. Pressing into the top of my clit causing me to squirm. When I made a jolting movement the pressure he'd had on me caused him to slip, plunging right into me, making it about half way in my insides coiled around him in a vise grip at the unexpected entrance.

" _Fuck_." He growled as he leaned over me unmoving for a long moment as I tightened around him to the point that when he finally moved his hips, he couldn't moved inside of me. I whimpered as I was stretched out, he moved his thumb to spread me a bit more, allowing him to slip out of me. I moaned as he move over the tight ridges of my slick, and burning velvety insides. He let out a shaky groan as he slipped back inside of me with ease, pressing past the tightest parts of me in a slight struggle caused him to jerk forward, bottoming out to press against the back of my cervix. I whined at the slight jolt of pain that shot through me as he hit the very end of my entrance. He slid out of me slowly till he was almost all the way out again, only leaving half of his head in before slamming back into me. I choked out a moan, and Jacob clasped his hand over my mouth before I could let out the rest of the to-be loud moan. I moaned against his palm as his fingers gripped over my jaw, he pressed my leg up to allow him to hit deeper in when he thrusted. He angled himself up as to hit against the sensitive area inside of me that left me a mess under him. I trembled under him, my mouth open against his hand getting saliva on him and smearing on my jaw as he rammed back inside of me in short, rough thrusts. He started picking up his pace, hammering in and out off me as I gripped around him, pulling him back in.

He suddenly stopped, and I let out a loud whimper of protest. He hushed me as he slid out, "You're getting too loud, Rabbit." My heart pulsed at the old nickname, allowing him to move my leg over him to move me onto my stomach, he pulled my hips up into the air as he lifted himself onto his knees placed between my legs to keep me spread wide for him. I took the pillow under my arms to bury my face in to keep quiet, panting into it as I was on display for Jacob. I shifted my thighs after a moment when he didn't move, pressing my hips back towards him I heard a deep chuckle. He held me still and I gasped as something cold slid over me. Jacob rubbed the saliva around my entrance before he pushed back into me, I gasped into the pillow as he gripped into my hips to push further into me. I moaned as I felt him move through my slick insides, pushing over every ridge, every nerve that made the hot coil in my belly want to explode on the spot. But I didn't want it to be over yet, I wanted him to keep filling me to the brim with his cock until I was numb.

He started at a jack-hammering pace as he thrusted inside of me. I moaned loudly into the pillow as he hit every spot inside of me at just the right time. I'd never felt this amazing in my entire life, every time he pushed into me it was like I was a lock, and my key was lost before it could be used. Everyone I'd slept with tried to pick me, do all the right things to get me to finally open. But never finished the job. Now, as Jacob pushed up into me as he clawed into my hips, fucking me at an relentlessness pace, I felt all my pins move into place and I unraveled beneath him. My legs stiff as I gasped into the pillow, my breath hitched in my throat and I pulsed around Jacob, returning to the vise grip that made it next to impossible to move inside of me. He made do with short, rough thrusts into me as my orgasm paralyzed me. When the white faded from my vision, my body went slack, and Jacob caught me by the waist, pulling me back up as he thrusted up into me a few more times before he let me drop, I pulled my hair up to pool around my head as he came onto my back. I laid there panting as my mind came back to me, "So much for a shower.." Jacob spoke in a whisper as he got off the bed, returning with a towel, he wiped me down until I was dried off. I rolled over weakly, looking up at him as he stood over me, his pants pulled back up, but he held out the navy blue t shirt he'd been wearing. I slowly took it, smiling softly as I pulled it over my naked body. Jacob climbed back into bed with me, and pulled me onto his chest, kissing the top of my head as I drifted off. "So much for waiting.." I chuckled sleepily, smoothing my hand over his chest. "I love you, Darlin'.."


	11. A Crack in the Glass

_Two Months Later_

I pulled my black jean best over my shoulders, smoothing my fingers over my Alpha pin as I looked into the mirror. I took a deep breath as I looked over myself, tracing the scar on my chest slowly before walking away. I opened my bedroom door to look up at Jacob who gave a gentle smile down at me. He slowly tucked the loose strands of my hair that stuck out of my braids behind my ear as he looked down at the scar along my collar bone above my breast. There was a twinge of sadness dancing with anger in his eyes as he traced the four little letters. I took his hand in mine with a reassuring smile, "It was worth it." I spoke softly to which he nodded slightly as I moved my hand over his matching scar hidden under his faded grey tee. "We need to head out, we're escorting new members to their baptism. Easy job to get out of the way, gives me time alone with you before I head back." I nodded as I followed him down the steps. Making our way to the greenhouse to get Osiris. "Ready Darlin'?" He asked, I smiled with a nod as I looked up at him, "But you're forgetting something." I said, he chuckled as he pulled me in for a kiss. I inhaled deeply, a smile growing across my cheeks as I held onto his camo jacket. "I love you." He grumbled out as we pulled away, I smiled as I lowered to be flat on my feet, "I know.. Maybe I'll finally give you my answer." I teased, he chuckled as he shook my head while I walked ahead. "Come on, we got work to do!" 

I followed Jacob's lead as we made our way down a dirt path into the woods. I held my AR to rest on my shoulder as I scanned the area of any threats. Looking straight ahead as we came into a clearing with Peggies and a group of maybe ten people not get part of the Project. I walked along them to be sure no one was here to attack us, scanning over them while Jacob greeted them, instructing them for what they'd be doing to join. I looked up into their eyes for any signs of a threat when I noticed a pattern in the line of various shades of blue, brown, and greens. Their pupils were dilated, eyes fogged over slightly, and bloodshot ripples in the corners of their eyes. I furrowed my brows, looking back to Jacob in slight confusion. "I'm going to check the perimeter." I announced to which he simply nodded in understanding as he talked to the others.

I moved through the trees to reach out of view as I scanned the surrounding area carefully. I tried to ignore the thoughts moving through my head as the images of each one of the new members eyes flickered through my mind; I knew that look, those eyes, I had saved plenty of people from the Project in the past who's eyes mirrored them: The Bliss effect. Out of it, not quite there as they stood before you, strung out of reality. I flexed my jaw as I moved through the woods, they all could have wanted it, but usually when we bring in large groups, there are at least one or two people who chose not to use the Bliss. I zoned back in when I realized I'd reached a road, looking around for a moment before turning around. As I went to leave I heard shouting, I snapped my head around to the gas station ahead, jogging across the street cautiously before sprinting into the store. I shoved the door open to see a man over someone with an AR, the person beneath them struggled, crying as they were told to stand with the barrel to their forehead. As the man turned to me when the sound of the door banging open filled the room, he looked back to me holding my .44 magnum revolver to his forehead before pulling the trigger. I moved to the person on the floor, I recognized her -- She was the woman who worked here, she'd loved coming to the Spread Eagle, congratulating me on every Peggie I took down.

"Tammy, Tammy, it's okay -- It's me." I said as she sobbed, cupping her cheeks to get her to focus, she looked down at my clothes, eyes going over my Peggie gear, and my P.E.G. cross tattoo. "You're a fucking Peggie." She said, shoving me back, I landed on the ground with a thud. I groaned as I rubbed the back of my head, moving as she swung a baseball bat at me, jumping up as she swung again. I painfully blocked a hit with my forearm before grabbing the bat from her to toss it behind the counter. We were still for a moment before she moved passed me to the counter, grabbing a gun, pointing it up at me "Tammy, calm down --  I know I'm not one of you anymore, but I'm still me. I'm not going to hurt you." I reassured her, she looked at me unsure for a long moment before nodding slightly, lowering the gun. "I know I'm decked out in Peggie gear.. And the tattoo, I look the part but I'm not like them.." I looked down at the man dead on the floor, "In fact.. _They're_ not supposed to be like them anymore.." I muttered as I looked down, "The Peggies.. For months they disappeared, stopped taking people.. Started coming to us peacefully like in the beginning. Offering people a place in their damned Cult. They weren't exactly getting treated like nothin' happened, ya know? They had kidnapped and killed our families.. Nobody wanted shit to do with those damn freaks. They got some, but not enough I guess.. The Resistance told them to shove it, and they did not like that. They wouldn't give up on their Cult.. So maybe four months back --  Some of our people attacked.. Your people, and they went back to abducting people." I looked down as she spoke, moving my hands through my hair, rubbing my eyes as a million thoughts rushed through my head. "I am such a moron. I let myself trust them.. Believe them." Tammy sighed, "Oh kid.." I looked up to her as stroked my shoulder, pointing to the Peggie with her gun, "They ain't ever gonna change."

A shot range through the air, and I gasped as blood splattered over me. Tammy's gun clattered to the floor, and I moved to grab her before she smacked into ground as the world slowed around me. My ears rang from the gun shot as I held Tammy in my arms, tears falling over my cheeks as I stared down at her eyes dulling as she went limp. I set her down gently, grabbing my gun I stood to point it at the shooter: Jacob. My jaw flexed as I looked up at him, feeling blood falling down my cheeks. "Ellie." His voice came as the world sped up again. I moved away from Tammy's body as vomit forced its way out of me. I held my stomach as I wiped my mouth off, grinding my teeth together as I turned back to Jacob, keeping my grip on my gun steady as I pointed it at his head. "What the hell are you doing." He said as he lowered his gun when I stood in front of him without lowering my revolver. "I heard a gun shot and came running -- You could have died.” "Shut the fuck up." I let out in a shout, he closed his mouth, jaw flexing as he looked down at me, "She didn't kill him,  _I did._ " I told him, and he looked confused, I let out a humorless laugh at that, tears rolling down my cheeks, "Our friend here was attacking Tammy. He had a gun to her head and was ready to drag her out of here. Likely to pump her full of drugs and zombify her into submission." 

" _Four months._ " I let out lowly, "For four  _fucking_ months, you've been lying to me." The look in his eyes shifted as I spoke. "You've been kidnapping, and killing people. Just like before.. So I take it Faith is drugging people into zombies.. John is torturing people again." I chuckled dully as I shook my head, "And -- Worst of all.. That means  _you_  have been lying to me _the whole time.._ Huh? You start.. Caging people up again? Starving them. Making them _fight_ for food. Classically conditioning them into doing _whatever_ they're told. Haven't you? You..  _motherfucker._ " I whispered the last part as I looked up at him, tears contorting my vision, "Fucking talk.  _Tell me I’m wrong_." He looked down at me, shaking his head, “You were never one of us. You wouldn't understand.” I shook my head as I let out a laugh,“I don’t _believe_ you.” I wiped my eyes dry with my free hand as I licked my lips, “I’m not going anywhere until you answer me. Give me a straight answer, no excuses.” I said and was met with silence “I want an answer, goddammit!” I shouted as I clicked the hammer back on my gun, moving my finger to the trigger.

"What you gonna do? Shoot me?" He chuckled down at me. "Just fucking answer me, Jacob." He stared at me for a moment, "Your people kept telling us to fuck off. Attacked some of our people. Joseph was getting impatient with all of this shit. Said we needed to save them, even if they can't see it now, they will when the Collapse comes." I shook my head, scoffing at him, "Fucking bastard.. You've been lying to me.. Every day we've been together was such utter  _bullshit_.. I actually  _trusted_ _you_." I laughed as I stepped forward, "Get the hell out of my way." He stepped out of the door way as he was told, and I backed out slowly. I saw Osiris move to my side as I came out of the store, and he looked between us. "Siris. Kommen." I said as I moved away from him, "You gonna steal my wolf too?" I glared, "He's mine. And you're goddamn right I'm taking him with me." Osiris followed me loyally, and Jacob chuckled as he shook his head at me.  I looked at him, whispering softly as I lowered the gun slightly,“I would’ve died for you.” “Was that supposed to hurt?”

* * *

I drove down the road in Tammy's truck, I listened to the radio at the low volume as I followed the turns out of muscle memory while I was still zoned out in thought. They'd all lied to my face for  _months_ , pretending that they had changed. Making me part of this shit. Suddenly the raising numbers that Joseph talked about made sense. The need for us escorting so many people. The people hadn't chosen Bliss.. They were the ones who hadn't wanted to join.. I'd been taking part in kidnapping so many people in Hope County since I had started helping them.. Tammy was right. They would never change.. But I refused to be a part of it, I am going to fight with the Resistance again if they will take me.. Who knows if they will, they could try and shoot me just like Tammy.. She believed me though, maybe I wouldn't be casted aside.

I didn't know where else to go back to the home I belonged.. I looked up at the house as I pulled the truck in, turning the engine off I stared at it for a long moment before climbing out of the truck. Walking up the steps onto the porch, I stood there for a long moment as I gathered up the courage to knock. I feared the worst, imagining all the ways I could be told to fuck off. Leaving me with no home, no family, and no where to go. I took a deep breath, shaking the thoughts from my head as I rose my fists to knock on the door. Anxiety bubbled in the pit of my belly as I shifted on my feet. When my hand connected with the wood it was too late to turn back, unless of course I sprinted away. I nodded to myself and turned around but the sound of the lock clicking came, and the door was open.

"Ellie?" Kim's voice spoke softly as she looked up at me, I stayed where I was as she looked at me with tired eyes. She glanced behind her as she closed the front door to step onto the porch with me, I watched her as she came closer. I could feel my heart jack-hammering against my chest, pulsing in my ears as I looked into her deep eyes. My entire body relaxed when I was given a big smile, Kim pulled me by the arms into a hug, "Well, get over here, damn it." She laughed as I hugged her tightly, hot tears falling from my eyes as she held me. Kim rubbed my back as I shook, staying silent as I cried against her smaller frame. We pulled away and she wiped the tears away with her thumbs, I held her wrists as she did so. We exchanged smiles as we stood there, the sun setting for the approaching night. "Kim, what's goin' on?" I looked to the open front door as I cleared my cheeks of tears, Kim stepping aside to give the full view of me, wiping away her own tears with a chuckle.

"Elizabeth god damn Pierce." I smiled as I felt more tears threatening to fall, "Nick fucking Rye." I returned with a laugh, I was pulled into a tight hug, an arm around the small of my back, and the other at the nape of my neck to bury me into his chest as I let more tears fall. I wrapped my arms around his waist to return the hug as I took in his scent: Pine, spice, and a faint woodsy scent that always reminded me of wood chips. I laughed into his chest as he held onto me, Kim standing beside us she rubbed my shoulder gently. "Let's get you inside, Ellie." She said making us pull away, I dried my eyes with a nod as they lead me into the house. I followed their lead, stepping in with them as Nick shut the door behind us. "You wanna see Beth?" Kim asked, I smiled as I gave a nod, "I'd love to." She returned my smile and headed up stairs. I turned to Nick to see him smiling at me, I chuckled softly as I put my hands in my pocket, "So, Rye -- How's fatherhood been treating you?" I asked with a smile, he scoffed slightly, "Like a god damn bitch." I laughed with a nod as I walked over to the couch. He joined me as I sat down, "Beth's got a real set of lungs on her, and she's a real picky eater." I chuckled softly, looking down slightly as I spoke, "That's right, Bethie is a year old, isn't she?" Nick smiled with a nod, "She is. Only one years old and so much like her mama." 

We looked back as Kim came down the stairs with Beth in her arms. I smiled as she turned to us with curious eyes when she spotted me. "Hi Bethie." I said softly as Kim sat between Nick and I with Beth resting in her lap while she kept her big blue eyes on me. "Oh she has your eyes, Nick." I smiled as she turned up to Kim speaking gibberish. "That's your aunt Ellie, Beth. She's helped mommy and daddy a lot." She said as she turned to me with a smile, "She's been gone for a while, but she'll always be family." I smiled softly as tears pricked my eyes, but I laughed them off as Beth reached a hand out. I held my hand out for her to grab onto my finger, looking into those blue eyes peaking out of her wild brown hair. She shifted to hold both her arms out, and I picked her up to move her into my lap with a smile. "She likes you." Kim chuckled, "She doesn't let anyone else but Nick hold her willingly." I laughed as I bounced my knee gently as she grasped a strand of my hair in her chubby fingers.

"I'm gonna go start dinner." Kim said as she stood with a stretch, I looked up at her as I bounced Beth, "Oh, I can help you if you want." I offered, and she shook her head, "You've gotta make up time with your goddaughter. Nick can help me." I smiled as Nick looked over to me, he patted me on the shoulder before moving to help his wife. I returned my attention to Beth as she looked up at me in awe. "Hey, Bethie." I chuckled softly as I tucked a slight curl behind her ear, "I know you don't know me, I've been gone for a long time. But I've missed you so much, we were best friends when you were only a few months old." I told her as I pulled the picture Nick had given me out of my vest pocket, "See. Your mommy and daddy are my best friends in the world.." I said as she took the picture and tried to eat it. I chuckled and pulled it away so she didn't ruin it, slipping it back into my pocket. "I had to go away for a long time because I didn't want your daddy to get hurt. He had you and your mama at home waiting for him." I smoothed my thumb over her cheek, "I wish I'd never left.." I whispered as I held her to my chest, rocking us slowly while she nuzzled into me with a slight coo. I let a deep breath out at the relaxing sensation it gave me to hold Beth after all this time. I'd been gone almost a full year, just a month or two shy of twelve months. I kissed the top of her head as I held her until she wanted to look around again.

After dinner I watched Kim washing the dishes, which she refused to let me help with, and Nick head upstairs to put Beth to sleep. I slipped out onto the front porch, I walked down the path to the hanger. I climbed up the latter onto the roof where I sat down, looking up at the stars in the night sky as I rubbed my arm where my tattoo was inked. I searched the sky for the constellations, the cold air biting at my skin in nibble. Gently rubbing my hand up and down my upper arm where my tattoo was inked. I let out a slow sigh as I traced over the stars arrangements into the little dipper. There was a burning deep in my chest despite the growing cold over my body. Hot tears rolled over my cheeks when I blinked them, rubbing my chest to try and ease the burning of my broken heart.

"I thought I might find you up here." Nick's voice came with a chuckle as he sat beside me, I smiled softly as I turned to him, wiping my cheeks dry with the back of my hand. "What happened out there, kid?" Nick asked softly as he put an arm around me to pull me closer. "I made the mistake of trusting them.. Letting them in, getting close even though I knew who they were.. Who they'd always be." He gave a slight nod as he leaned his head on mine, "It ain't your fault, you were there for a long time. Had to make due with what you had, yeah?" I shrugged softly as I shook my head, "That's just it.. I did more than just make due, for a while.. I was actually one of  _them_. I was a part of the Family.. I let them into my heart like an idiot, and I was actually surprised when it all fell apart when I should have known since the beginning." Nick let but a soft sigh, his breath let out in a gently frosted fog cloud from his lips, "Nobody would blame you. It must have been scary. Taken into enemy territory, treated like an equal would be confusing. I sure as shit don't like it, but I understand it.." I fiddled with a loose strand of hair as I looked down, "Nick.. Can I tell you something  _really_ stupid..?" I whispered, and he turned to rest his chin on the top of my head, "Always." He spoke as he rubbed my arm to warm it.

"I fell in love with Jacob." I muttered, he was still for a moment as he held me, and I moved to look up at him. He moved his arm to rest behind him as he stared at me, "As in.. Jacob  _Seed_?" I nodded, and he looked bewildered. "I told you it was really stupid.." I murmured, and he shook his head slightly, "I just... I don't -- How? When? ..Why?" I sighed slowly as I looked back up at the sky as I spoke, "I don't know honestly.. To any of it really.." Nick stood, rubbing his face as he paced around the roof, I stood with him, watching as he did so until he spoke, "How the hell could you fall for someone like  _him_." He let out in a less confused, more angered tone now -- But he didn't wait for my response, only walked up to me, "Again we're having this conversation -- It was bad enough when I just thought you were one of them, El.. But being  _in love_ with that psychopath? He kept you in a cage. He made you have to fight for food. You said yourself that you were pretty damn sure it was  _human_ meat.. He forced you to murder innocent people..  _Our_ people, who the hell knows what else he would or  _could_ have done.. How could you possibly forgive that. How could you possibly even  _think_ about him in any way that didn't involved putting a damn bullet through his skull." I looked down as he spoke, listening to the eternal battle I'd had with myself since the first moment he'd given me butterflies I shouldn't have had. Those gently fluttering wings in the pit of my stomach turned into cannibalistic moths the moment I saw that man with a gun to Miss. Tammy's head.

"Trust me, Nick.. I know. I never wanted to feel this way, it's fucking insane that I do.." I admitted, sighing as I shook my nerves away, "I need to tell you something.." "Beside the fact you're in love with a damn sociopath." He bit out, and I took his arms gently as I looked up at him with a serious expression, he looked down at me with softening features, "What is it..?" He whispered and I pulled him to sit back down with me, "You know that when I was a kid I was abused.. And that I went into the system, had shitty foster homes." I started, "But I never really talked about it.. Not with anybody because it hurt.. And I was afraid no one would believe me..." I bit my lip as a silence fell over us while Nick watched me patiently, "I was molested.. and raped as a kid." I said finally after a long while, and his features pinched with sadness. "By my father.. He blamed me for my mother's death, it started with screaming over the little things, putting me down over every tiny mistake.. then he started shoving me to the ground, into walls, and eventually started beating me. Then when I was around nine.. When I started  _growing_  he started coming up with more.. Creative punishments. When he died and I was put into the system, no one ever believed me when I told them what he did.. Said my father was a good man, that I was.. just looking for attention. So I stopped trying to get help, he was long gone anyways, right..? But from home to home I was abused.. I ended up with a family who made me do house work constantly without any rest, they had... A million foster kids they made the older ones take care of, including myself. Played themselves off as "good Christians doing God's work." No, they took in kids for the money. They kept it all to themselves, food was locked up with a fucking padlock, and I went to bed almost every night without eating.." 

I gave a sigh before continuing, "One of the foster boys, an older one, he was 17, I was only 14 at the time. He was nice to me, he was the only one who wanted to talk to the 'little Goth freak'. All the kids avoided me, and the "parents" hated me the most because they assumed I was Satanic.. Anyways, his name was Jeremiah, and he was a really nice person... I got really close with him, and made the mistake of telling him the truth about my father's death.. I crashed our car so that he would die. I didn't plan on surviving but I did.. And Jeremy promised to keep my secret, if I played a game with him. That was it -- So, I of course agreed, I trusted him. Whatever the game was, it seemed harmless. But then Jeremy wanted to play his game. He said we were gonna play the 'quiet game with a twist' I was confused, but I wasn't allowed to ask... But he told me that it was a game of surprise, he would do something that would scare or shock me, but I couldn't scream. It started out innocent enough, he'd jump out at me when I came out of a room, he'd throw fake bugs at me when I wasn't paying attention.. Typical jump scares.

Till one night he snuck up on me while I was laying down -- Our beds were just pallets on the ground made of old blankets, always reminded me of kindergarten... He had already scared the living hell out of me when he laid down by me.. But I wanted to win, so I didn't talk or react. But then he started taking off my pants, and I... I couldn't move, he started touching me like Dad, and I had been taught... Not to do anything when it happened. I squeezed my eyes shut, and hoped he would just leave. I got the idea to react, if I screamed- when he scared me before, he'd laugh and I would lose, all the prize ever was, was him getting me candy.. That wasn't worth it... When I moved away from him, I went to scream.. But, he covered my mouth, and did it anyways. He told me... That I'd won the game..." I trailed off, "No one ever believed me when I told them what happened, and what continued to happen. Every time I tried to get help, everyone believed the adults.. That I was a liar, _schizophrenic_ , delusional, just looking for attention.... So, it kept happening, multiple homes, and even multiple people in them.. It never stopped. I was the little girl who cried rape to everyone. So what was the point.."

I looked over to Nick as he listened silently, "I first started to trust them because.. John was the first to believe me after my parents adopted me. My mom believed me because she was abused too, and they saved me.. I finally had someone who believed me, so I didn't think about telling anyone else about it.. But John wanted me to confess, and if I wanted to survive, I had to play along with their games. So, I told him.. And he never questioned me once, just took the truth as it was." Nick sighed as he moved closer to me, "I believe you. I would have if you'd told me before too.." I nodded, "I know that.. I was just so scared I'd be wrong but -- You did me one better, Nick.. Before you, I never trusted a man enough to be in a room alone with him, or to let my guard down with even a little bit.. But I trust you with my life, and I know you'd never hurt me -- Because of you I trust that not all men have a hidden agenda when they smile at me.. But telling John, and him believing me meant so much.. Joseph treated me like I was a blessing, Faith was like the little sister I never knew I wanted.. And there was a time there when a Peggie attacked me.. Tried to hurt me like that, and I froze, I couldn't fight back. John and Jacob saved me, got rid of that man because he tried to hurt me.. John told Joseph and he had it taken care of immediately. Jacob believed me.. Protected me. He made me feel safe, he trained me to be strong, he could protect me against anyone, and he.. I thought he would never hurt me --  and he didn't, not like I'd been so afraid of all my life. Just that they lied, betrayed my trust by going behind my back and doing this shit again..."

“Everything is temporary, this was just one of those things.” I reassured Nick, he sighed as he shifted to pull me into a hug, “Wishful thinking will always be my downfall.” I chuckled as I buried myself into his chest while he smoothed hair down. "I'm sorry about all this shit, kid." I shook my head as I pulled away, “Don’t be sorry, it was no ones fault but my own.” He sighed as he stood, holding his hand out for me I hopped up. "Come on, we should turn in for the night." I nodded in agreement and followed his lead back home where we met up with Kim cleaning up the house. She smiled to us as we came in, "Hey you two, I was just about to head upstairs to sleep." Nick came over her to give her a kiss before heading upstairs to check on Beth. Kim turned to me, "Beth sort of stole your room." I chuckled, "That's fine, I can sleep on the couch." She smiled as she went to get my pillows and blanket to set up the couch. When I settled in she walked over to the light switch, "Goodnight, Ellie." She said as she stood there, "Night, Kim." I smiled, she hummed softly as she clicked it off before walking upstairs, "And welcome home."


	12. Shatter Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie gets a surprise visit that takes some dark turns, then she makes an unwelcome appearance herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking longer than usual to update you guys, been dealin' with a whole lot of BS.  
> Song for this chapter? The beginning at least:  
> Evanescence- Snow White Queen  
> I hope you enjoy!

I shot up into a sitting position on the couch as my walkie screeched on, I grabbed it from the coffee table to turn it down. I stood in a wobbly manner as I pulled my coat on to head outside with the device. I turned it on clearing my throat before speaking, "This is Deputy Pierce." I spoke as I sat on the porch chair, turning the walkie up, "Deputy, there's a problem." When isn't there. "Some of Jacob's people were spotted coming over the mountain into Holland Valley near Rae-Rae's last anyone saw.. Looks like they're ready to go back into war now that you've retired from your Cult days." I listened to Dutch speaking as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes in frustration, "Alright, I'm on my way." I said before clicking the radio off to head inside to get dressed. I groaned as I pulled my jeans on lazily before sitting on the couch to pull my boots on. "Anything I should be worried about?" Nick whispered from the stairs, I stood to turn to him as I finished lacing up my boots, "Shouldn't be, I'm just gonna do a perimeter check. I doubt they're still up at Rae-Rae's, I'll call you if there's a real problem, and I need any help." I promised, and he nodded as he rubbed his eyes. "I didn't wake you up, did I?" Nick shook his head as he met me by the door, "Nah, Beth's got us up all hours of the night like clock work. In about 20 minutes she'll be ready to wake Kim up." I chuckled with a slight nod, "Alright, I'll see you later, Rye." "Be safe, Pierce."

I pulled up to Rae-Rae's and looked around to the Resistance group as I approached their attention turned to me. "Deputy, thank god you're here -- The Peggies were gettin' close, we ain't seen em since we radioed it in." I nodded as I shifted my AR off my back, "I'll take a look around the surrounding woods for any signs of them, but they were trained to hide their tracks, likely hood is that I won't be able to find a trace. They could be waiting to ambush, stay here for now and I'll call if they turn up." I said as I made sure my AR was good to go, looking up at the group as they stared at me, "Got anything to say to me, say it now." I let out lowly, everyone shook their heads and turned away from me, I looked back to the guy who'd talked to me, "Alright, then I'm going. Keep an eye all around until I get back." I said before turning around to leave. It's only been just about two weeks since I got back, everyone was a little untrusting of me. Nick never told my story, he told everyone the truth. The paranoia came from me being there almost a year, thought I'd actually become one of them.. And I suppose I did, I just didn't realize it at the time.

I walked through the woods, traveling up the slope of the mountain for any tracks left behind. I spotted broken branches on the ground, best I'd found so far, so I followed its  lead further into the darkness of the forest. The trees blocked out the sun, and it being early morning there wasn't much sun to block yet which caused it to almost look night out. But there were traces of the solar beams peaking past the leaves. I furrowed my brows at the amount of branches broken so close together when I looked up to a tree beside me, I walked towards it as I noticed something odd.. There was a thicker branch sawed off, looking to the ground I picked up the snapped limb, it had been cut off, not fallen or broken. When I turned the branch I pressed the cut up to the nub on the tree to see it match up. There was a snap behind me and I dropped the branch to hold my gun up. There was no one in sight, so I followed the trail left for me until I came into a large clearing and it stopped. I stared down at a serrated bowie knife stuck into the ground in the dead center of the clearing. I walked up to the blade, looking down at the red handle, chills crawled over me. 

"G'The hell out of the shadows." I growled as I yanked the knife out of the dirt, watching crumbs of the Earth fall off with it as I wrapped my fist around it. There was a shuffling to my right and I turned to throw the knife into the tree. Jacob emerged from behind the trunk, chuckling as he looked to the blade, wedging it out of the bark before walking forward. I held my AR up as he came close, "Stop! What the hell are you doing in our territory." I shouted, and he rose his eyebrows, " _Your_ territory? Last I checked my brother owned this land." He chuckled, I glared as he came closer, moving my finger to the trigger. "We were so close, Kitten. Gotta stop meeting like this." He said as he grabbed the barrel of my gun before yanking it forward. I stumbled as he did so, taking the shot without aiming. However, Jacob had moved away before I did so, and he stared down at me with empty blue eyes. "Takin' a shot at me without even talkin' it out.. You've changed." He smirked, I glared up at him as I tried to yank the gun out of his grip. He pulled me forward by the barrel, and a sharp pain shot up my nose. My vision blurred as I contorted in pain, my AR slipping from my grasp and its weight moving off of me I heard a clatter in the grass. I looked up at Jacob holding my bleeding nose, glancing down to his closed fist with splotches of my blood gushed onto it. 

“You’re angry with me, I know.” He said as he wiped his fist of my blood, I scoffed out a laugh, “ _Angry_? -- You hurt me and I _still_ trusted you.” I growled out, "I let you bullshit me, I let you in, I let you trick me into believing you _actually_ gave a shit. I didn't care that you'd caged me up, starved me, made me fight for my meals. I did that for _16 years_. You brainwashed me into doing your bidding, killing innocent people.. And I _still_ saw the good in you. I still saw that deep down you cared about  _something_. I was just stupid enough to think I was **actually** one of them. You never  _loved_ me. You were just using me." He chuckled, looking down as I spoke, "Whatever makes it easier, Darlin'." My heart pulsed in a funny way when he called me that now.. I still felt that pang of want when he used it, but now it was entangled with pain, betrayal, and regret. "It doesn't make it _easier_. Hell, It makes it so much worse, but it's the truth and nothing you can say, no lie that you could stitch together would make it _any. less. true_." He watched me as he stepped closer, and I moved back, “I should never have come there.” I let out as I backed away. "You were protecting the ones you loved." He said, and I looked down. "And it was worth it for them to live. But I wish I'd never been so fucking stupid as to having _feelings_ for a sociopath like _you_." I growled, tears burning at my lids, “I was just another notch in your bedpost.” I whispered as my back hit a tree, the tears boiled at the struggle I gave to hold them back, "You never cared about me.. You never.." I trailed off as he towered over me.

"Oh, I loved you, Darlin'. Ain't no lie about that. Can't fake that, I could never fake how I felt about you." He said, and my heart started its funny little dance when he was true to me. "Oh, you are _so_ full of shit." I let out lowly as I looked up at him. "I don't now. _You_ left." " _You_ were torturing innocent people." I snapped, and he grinned as he put his arms on either side of me, "Nobody is innocent, Darlin'." He grumbled as he leaned in close to me, "They all deserved what happened to them, and we will keep..  _Saving_ people." He chuckled as he rolled his eyes slightly, "We can't stop. Everyone has to be ready for the Collapse." He said as he pushed a leg between mine, "Especially you, Dep. Joseph  _still_ thinks you're special, still thinks we _need_   _you._ " He hummed lowly as he looked down at me, "I just wanna be the one to break you." I clenched my teeth together as he moved his hand to my jaw, "I love you, and you leave.. No surprise there." He chuckled as his lips brushed mine as I looked away, struggling under him. "But you'll never get rid of me, Darlin'." Jacob pressed his lips against mine roughly and I was taken a back as he did so, gasping slightly causing him to slip his tongue passed my lips with ease.

I pushed on his chest as he gripped into my jaw to keep me still. I punched his chest before shifting to smack my fist across his jaw, he pulled away with the impact with a laugh. I looked at him as he laughed, blood dripped from his bottom lip as he held me with an unwavering grip. When I tried to move away his hand slipped down my jaw to squeeze my neck tight, pulling me towards him before slamming me into the tree until my mind went fuzzy and I could barley hold myself up. He grabbed me by the jaw to steady me, smirking at my dazed look when I glanced up weakly. He tossed me to the side so that I would tumble onto the ground. I groaned as I struggled to prop myself up onto all fours to try and crawl away from him. A sharp pain rippled over me as I fell over, gasping shakily as I held my rib cage. Another kick slammed into my stomach causing me to retching, gagging as I moved onto my back. There was another blow, this time to my head, that rippled pain down my spine, make my ears ring violently as I flipped over. Trying to will myself to get the fuck up, run, call for back up --  _Something_. Not sitting here taking the beating. I was laid limply on my stomach, grass tickled my cheek as blood leaked from my lip, there were stars in my eyes, splotches of a black lit Earth in my view as I wheezed. "You are weak. Even after all you've gone through you can't take a beating." He scoffed, and I felt a heavy pressure on the back of my head. I whined as my head was forced to lay flat on my ear while Jacob pressed his boot into my temple. I looked up at him as he watched me with an amused grin. 

"Oh, come on, Darlin'.. I _know_ you can take more. I know you  _love_ the idea of what I've got in mind for you. You loved me, even if you never said it, and because of that -- I  _know_ you." He started as he removed his foot, reaching down to yank me up by the hair causing me to shriek softly in pain. I looked up at him as he held the locks growing from the nape of my neck. I held me with a tightening grip as he let out a deep hum while looking deep into my doe eyes sharpened in a glare. "You and I both know that you can't hide what you want. Not from me." He shoved me into a tree and I felt the wind get knocked out of me as my back scratched against the bark. "Jacob. Stop." I let out in a graveled voice, he hummed as he stroked my cheek slowly with the back of his hand, "I haven't stopped thinking about you since you left. Holdin' that gun up to my head like you could kill me--" "I would kill you. I  _will_ kill you." His jaw flexed as I snapped my words out, his hand clamped over my mouth, his hold tightening around my jaw to keep me from speaking. I whined as he pressed his fingers into the edges of jaw in a bruising grip. "No, you wouldn't. You think you could because you're angry --Livid even, but you wouldn't be able to. You're too weak to kill me, to pretend you don't care about my siblings and I, to act like you don't miss me in your bed at night. Keeping you company like no one else could." I closed my eyes as he looked down at me with darkening eyes, I struggled under him as he pressed into me to keep me still. 

"You told me before when a man does something you don't want.. You're paralyzed in fear.." He murmured, "So, why are you fighting me like you don't want it." He whispered against my ear causing shivers to crawl over me, I welded my teeth together, refusing to respond to the accusation. He chuckled darkly at my silence and I felt his free hand slide up the side of my leg, I flinched and moved away from him. He gripped into the hem of my jeans to yank me back in place, slipping the button undone, and unzipping my jeans. I struggled as I voiced my protest against the tight grip over my jaw. Jacob hummed softly as he rubbed over my hip slowly, "I know you're strong enough to get out of his hold, if you really wanted to, you would find a way." He said as  he pushed a finger under the hem of my underwear as his rubbed over the soft skin of my hips with his calloused fingers. My heart jack-hammered against my chest as he traced his hands over me, "You belong to me." He whispered as his hand slipped between my clenched legs, pressing his knee between my thighs with ease he lifted me up to sit on his knee slightly before slipping his finger into me. I pressed against his chest weakly as I tried not to move under him, urging to paralyze myself but I kept wiggling in his grasp. He would chuckle every time I tried to keep still but failed to do so. I punched into his chest, so focused on trying to keep myself from moving that when he curled his finger inside of me I couldn't stop the moan I let out. Jacob growled at the sound, thrusting his finger quickly to loosen me up. My whole body tingled with pleasure that I tried to bite back with shame. 

Every time I tried to hide the moans, Jacob would force them out of me. He slipped three fingers into me causing me to gasp in pain at the amount I was being stretched, he moved his thick digits inside of me while his thumb pressed into my clit with increasing pressure. I let out a choked moan against the palm of his hand, tightening around him as I trembled lightly. I shook gently over my body as he moved his fingers inside of me touching every bundle of nerve in the perfect pattern to unravel me, leaving me weak as I was propped up against the tree, I would have fallen if he hadn't been gripping into my jaw with an unwavering hold. I jolted against his hand, my hips twitching with sensitivity and a craving for more as he stilled to make me fuck it subconsciously. I panted when he let go of my jaw, it ached in pain as I let out shallow breaths of pleasure. I looked into his smug gaze to push him by his chest to try and get him away from me. Surprisingly he moved back allowing me to get off of him, I weakly held myself up on the tree as I looked down, seeing the large wet spot on his jeans with flared cheeks as he moved his fingers over it with a chuckle as he licked his fingers of me as he towered over me with a darkening aura.

My upper arm was grabbed, and I was pushed into the tree by the back of my neck. I groaned as the bark bit into my cheek while Jacob held me against it. I struggled under him as he pushed me against the trunk. I moved away from him when my jeans were yanked down to wrap around my knees, I wiggled slightly out of habit and tried to keep myself still. But he noticed, and smoothed his hand over my rear slowly before gripping into my skin, spreading my slit open with his thumb, letting out a gravely groan as he looked down at me. I whined as he unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants down to move over my slick entrance with the head of his cock. I clenched my eyes shut when he prodded my insides slowly, pressing against me teasingly, just enough to push past my lips, but not enough to slip inside of my tightening insides. He bent at the knee slightly, forcing himself up to push inside of me. I gasped as I was stretched out by his thick length, not even giving me time to adjust before he started to ram inside of me relentlessly. I could feel my whole body tingling with waves of increasing pleasure, my insides itched, and burned for him after such a long time. It'd only been two weeks, but I wasn't used to going more than five days without seeing him so that he would destroy me. My breasts were pulled out of my bra and my shirt pulled over my neck to keep it from falling over the creamy skin as Jacob gripped into one painfully while he thrusted into me, the other was scratched up by the rough old bark.

I felt like I was going insane at the teasing he gave me. He would go all the way until I was about to reach my peak and stop deep inside of me until I calmed back down. Squirming under him as he kept me still until he would slide out of me, already molded into his shape at that point it made it so much more intense. I whimpered weakly as I let out heavy pants, "Jacob, please.." I whined as he slowed his pace, "Please what, Darlin'?" He whispered into my ear before biting into it making me jolt under him. "Please don't tease me.. I need to.." I trailed off as he gave a sharp thrust causing me to moan loudly, "Not until you're screaming. Begging me for it." I whimpered as I lot out my moans, I was to a near scream as is. He thrusted into me with an increasing force, stirring up my insides in a way that drove me mad with pleasure. "Please.. Jacob, please -- Let me cum, it hurts. I need to cum, please let me." I rambled in a moan as he pile-drived into me. "What do you say, Kitten?" I blushed a cherry red at the question delivered as a command. "Please, Master -- Give me permission to cum." I whimpered out, and could feel him grin against my neck as he clawed into my hips, "Do it then, cum for me, slut." I whimpered as he gripped into my hair to yank my neck back, biting into my shoulder to mark me as I pulsed around him, my orgasm hitting hard as he continued to move inside of me until he reached his own and filled my insides. He slipped out of me and cum leaked down my thighs as I fell onto my knees in the grass. I groaned as my knees got banged up at the impact, listening to Jacob dress from behind me. I bit my lip as I pulled my clothes back into place. "One more thing, Darlin'." Jacob said causing me to turn around to the barrel of my own gun.

I jolted awake, my heart hammering in my throat to my ears with a pounding that wouldn't calm itself as I frantically looked around Nick's living room in fear. I scanned my surroundings, checking myself for injury, and sign that what had happened was real as my ears rang from the phantom gunshot. I sighed as I felt the evidence that Jacob had come to me, the bruises over me, but I let out a shameful noise when I shifted my thighs at the wetness between my legs. I panted as I rubbed my eyes, the replayed memory of yesterday morning with Jacob and I.. added in fresh in my mind. He had come to me, lured me into the woods, but he didn't touch me in any way but violent. He'd beaten me until I couldn't move. He put me against that tree, taunted me and kissed me before he vanished.. Said it was a lesson, course he never shot me in the head.. It was an odd feeling in my brain, the memory mixed with a.. twisted fantasy. I could feel his finger prints on my soul, his breath in my lungs, and his malice in my eyes. I stood up to change into my clothes, looking through the dresser Kim had put in the living room for me. I slipped on my pale blue jeans, pulled on my mix matched socks, and laced up my combat boots. I stood almost completely dressed side from my shirt, deciding what I wanted to wear today. I looked over the folded clothing before my eyes landed on the Whitetail Militia logo. A smile came to my face as I picked up the navy blue heather tee, and a grey long sleeve to wear under it, tugging them over my head making my head frizz slightly. I pulled on my old black leather gloves, brushing my hair into a loose, low ponytail under a black knit beanie, letting a few strands out to hang over my face. It was getting cold out as we went deeper into October, and nearing into September, I like to be nice and bundled up. 

"Morning, Ellie." Kim's sleepy voice came from the steps as she walked into the kitchen. I followed her with a smile, "Mornin', Kim." I said as I leaned against the counter while she started brewing coffee. "So, Nick and I were talking last night," She started as she replaced the filter, throwing the old one in the trash. "Oh yeah?" I asked as she put the new filter in, scooping the ground coffee beans in, two scoops per person, "Yeah, we don't want you to keep sleeping on the couch, it can't be comfortable." I looked down with a slight chuckle, "Yeah, I've been lookin' for a pla-" "Hold on. Don't get all defensive of your heart." She spoke up as she filled the coffee pot, and I rose my eyebrows when she looked back at me with a smile, "We're not kicking you out, don't worry." She chuckled, "We just want you to have a bed, besides the last time you moved out it was into a Peggie house." She said as she poured the water into the pot, "Not the best at house hunting." She teased as she closed the lid, pressing the button to start the brewing. Kim looked over to me as she pulled her robe closer as she gave a slight shiver with her back to the old window leaking in a small stream of cold wind, "No, we're not asking you to leave -- Just to.. relocated on our property." She chuckled as she pushed off the counter, gesturing me to follow her out the front door and down the porch. I stopped behind her as she turned to me, "It's old, and rusty, but the thing is just collecting dust." I looked behind her to the old RV, and rose my eyebrows, "Kim, I-" "Don't say you can't take it, because you're going to." She cut me off, and I gave a gentle smile. "I know you don't like people offering you stuff. But it's not an offer, it's an order -- You have to move into our RV, no room for argument. It's not getting any use from us, your room is Bethie's now. It has privacy, don't have to make sure you're fully dressed before I made us all coffee."

I blushed slightly as I looked down with a chuckle. "There's an AC, a heater, own little kitchen, and bathroom. You can put your clothes in the cabinets above your bed. There's an old TV we'll have to check on in there." She chuckled as she walked over to the door of the RV, pulling a key out of her robe pocket before unlocking it, opening it before gesturing me over. I looked into the dark room before turning to flick the light on, it was a bit dusty but I smiled as I looked over the space, looking back to Kim at the bottom of the steps, "I'd love to accept it, even if I have no choice." I laughed as I came out to hug her. She chuckled as she hugged me back, "Alright, it's settled. I'll have Nick help you bring the dresser out later and you can move in. For now, let's go get some coffee." I smiled as I followed her lead, walking inside as Nick came down the steps with a sleepy Beth. Nick looked at us as we came in, "So?" He asked as he glanced to Kim, and she smiled. He chuckled, looking to me, "I can help you clean the place up so you can move right in." He said as I took Beth from his arms, resting her on my hip while she laid her head on my shoulder. "You don't have to, Nick." I smiled as I gently rocked with Beth. "I know, but I will. You're the little sister I never had, and the godmother of my baby girl. You mean a lot to me, Kid. I ain't got any other way of thanking you for everything you've done." I smiled as I leaned my head on Beth's, "Oh, right -- You only let me live here, gave me the honor of having a beautiful goddaughter, saved my life on multiple accounts, and forgiven me even though I was a total moron. Shut up, you're one of the greatest things to happen to me since I came to Hope County, Nick Rye." I laughed, "Now, chill out. It's just a dusty RV, I've got it. You've done enough for me." I smiled as he gave a nervous chuckle.

"Coffee's ready, you two." Kim announced, and I followed Nick into the kitchen with Beth. Kim sipped at her cup before putting it down to take Beth from me while I drank my coffee made just how I like it. I smiled to Beth as Kim made her breakfast and fed it to her. Once we had finished our morning cups of coffee, I put all of my clothes in my bag to move into the RV. I dusted the place until there wasn't a peck afterwards. I folded up my clothes to put in the cupboards, closing them I looked into the mirror on the small door and jumped at Nick's reflection. He chuckled as I turned around laughing, "Jesus, Nick. Give me heart attack after all my hard work." He rose an eyebrow at me, "Okay, my work." I laughed as he gave a crooked grin. "Just came to check on you, offer you a root beer so you look like a grown up while I drink my real beer." I laughed as I took the bottle to twist the lid off while he popped his lid off, putting it in the trash after I tossed mine in. I hadn't ever been a big fan of.. Well, any alcohol ever, all of it tasted awful and made me feel like shit. Besides I had some bad history with alcohol and men, but I trusted Nick to drink around me cause I knew he wouldn't get drunk off his ass. And when he did he was like a sleepy toddler, and laughed at everything.

I smelt the soda before taking a sip as we looked over the now cleaned RV. Nick was leaned on the L shaped counter top with the sink on the part that stuck out. The oven on the other end with a microwave overhead it. The fridge beside it with a small pantry on the other side where the door was. Above the pantry was a built in stereo, and a place for the TV. There was an old, worn in leather seat right across the front door, and a matching couch to the left of the entrance that had end tables on either side of it and a window behind it. When you came in to the right the the dinette was across the kitchen area. The bathroom was connected between the bedroom, and the rest of the RV with a door on wither side of the room. It had a toilet, sink, mirror and shower. It had sliding doors that locked to save space int the mini home. I had a queen sized bed with a deep grey duvet between two built in end tables that had a little drawer with marble tops that were under the cupboards with my clothes, and there were light switches on either side of the bed for the light over head. "So, what do you think?" He asked, and I smiled, "Well, it's no Rye house, but I'll take an extension." I chuckled, he smiled as he ruffled my beanie to mess up my hair as I let out a laugh. "I love you guys so much, you know that?" I said as I leaned into him when he put his arm around me. "I know, kid. We love you, too."

* * *

 

I was getting fed up of the fucking Cult taking our people. This whole damn war that we started because they couldn't learn that if we don't want to be "saved", then leave us the hell alone. I couldn't take another day of people getting killed over some stupid fucking conspiracy theory that the world was ending from Joseph because "God talked to him." I wasn't going to let Beth grow up in a world where she had to learn to fight instead of just being a kid. I wouldn't let my people get taken away because they didn't want to be a part of a cult. I refused to let this go on any longer. I loaded up in Nick's car with him and Peaches, driving out to the one place I knew they would all be. "Ellie, I get what you're goin' for, but where are we going?" Nick asked as I drove down the road, "When I was with them, I told you I had a new home.. Well, every Friday they all come over to spend the weekend as a family. I'm going to talk to Joseph where I know I can find him." I said, and Nick rose his eyebrows, "You really think they'd still be doin' there creepy Sunday dinners knowing you know?" I nodded, "It's important to them, they'd never give that place up. I'm going to make them a deal, threaten them a little bit, and send them packing... If not, we'll take them all out in one go.. Or at least try." I looked to him, "But I know what that place means to them.. And I know Joseph won't let them kill me." I said before turning my eyes back on the road, and Nick let out a nervous sigh, "I don't know about this, Kid. That's risky, what if he's changed his mind about all of that.. Given what happened with Jacob..?" He spoke in a cautious tone when referring to the beating and semi-forced make out sess.

"Jacob came without anyone having a god damn clue. Joseph would have never let him do something like that, the wack job thinks of me as an equal.. I'm family." I murmured as I pulled into the road leading up to the home, "Too late to turn back anyways. We're here." I said as I switched the car off, looking to Nick as I pulled the key out. He let out a deep breath but nodded as he stared up at the house, "No matter how stupid I think you're being.." Nick said as he looked back to me, "I'll always be right behind you, Kid." I smiled slightly as I let out a chuckle, "You're a true friend, Nick Rye." He grinned as he pulled his gun up, "Let's go make ourselves a deal. Or fuck some shit up, I'm ready for either." I laughed and got out with him, Peaches hopping out when I held her door open. She followed behind Nick and I as we walked up the path to the home I'd shared with the Seed family. There were sounds of guns loading, and I looked to Nick with my own crooked grin, "Deja vu.." I said, and he rolled his eyes as he held his hands up with me. "Stand down, we're just here for some friendly chat and preferably Blissless tea. Give me some foreplay before you fuck me over this time, boys." Imma get myself shot.

"I want to speak with The Father. I know he's here." I said, and the men exchanged looks. "Little Miss Ellie." John's voice spoke with fux awe from behind us. I slowly turned to him with my arms still raised, "Johnny Appleseed." I greeted in return as he walked up the hill to meet with us. "My brother's not here quite yet." He said as he turned to the Peggies, "It's fine." He assured as he looked back to me with a watchful gaze, "She won't bite, she's here for a reason." I smiled, "I missed your cooking Mama John." He gave a slight grin before turning to Nick, "Both of you follow me inside, but your cat is going to have to stay.." He said while glancing to Peaches, I looked down at the cougar with a smile, "Peaches, you wait here for Mommy." I ordered, making her lay down in the dirt as I looked up to John, "Lead the way then." I spoke as I put my AR over my shoulder, gesturing for Nick to do the same. He followed suit as John lead us to the house. Faith looked directly into my eyes when she opened the door to us three, ignoring John as he spoke. "The Deputy and her friend here would like to speak with Joseph." Faith turned to him with anger bubbling in her sharpened green eyes, "The Father will not be happy with this." She hissed, but John waved her off, "Joseph still has faith in her, he may even be delighted to see her." John said dismissively as he lead us inside. I felt the air behind me shift, and I glanced to Nick who was looking out the door. I turned to him fully to see what was the matter, and spotted Jacob walking up the yard, his steel blue eyes locked with mine as he approached with a chuckle. 

"You're stupider than I thought, Darlin'." Jacob said as he walked to the door, I took Nick's wrist as he stepped forward, and the solider rose an amused look with his eyebrow. "I'm not here to talk to you, Jacob." I let out lowly as I turned around with Nick by my side to go into the kitchen with John to wait for Joseph. "Aren't you though?" Jacob said as he pushed the kitchen door open, "Can't tell me you haven't been thinking about me, can you?" He spoke in a suggestive tone, and I remained silent as I exchanged glances with Nick. "Ah, your silence speaks volumes, Darlin." He chuckled darkly as he leaned against the counter, "Ignore me all you like. But until Joseph gets here, you gotta deal with me." He said as John left the room to talk with Faith. I kept my lips sealed shut as I stared across the table at the door, waiting until Joseph walked in before I'd speak again. "A'right, fine. Can't get you to talk to me, but I bet your friend Rye here has a few choice words he'd like to share." He grinned as he looked to Nick who was leaned against the wall across from Jacob. "I ain't got nothin' to say to you." Nick let out and he hummed at his response, "Sure ya' do.. You two are best friends, ain't cha? Miss Ellie tells you  _everything_ , yeah?" He let out another low hum as he stepped toward the table making Nick push off the wall, "Oh yeah. You know about our little visit from before. She didn't even fight back, Rye. She couldn't."

He laughed, "Not for a lack of skill, mind you. No -- She does just fine against me, she trained with me. She knows my moves, and how to stop 'em. But she didn't. Couldn't bring herself to." He put his hands flat on the table beside me as I clenched my jaw shut looking forward. Nick stepped closer to the table at Jacob's close proximity. "Oh.. Maybe somethin' else is botherin' you.. Oh, Rye -- Did she tell you about..  _Us._ " He chuckled at Nick's silence while he held his AR in a tightening grip. I looked to Nick with a warning gaze and he was still for a moment before holstering it over his back. "Ah, so she did.. To what extent I wonder? Did she tell you she had feelings for me, that we were together.. That we were  _very close._. She loved calling out my name while squirming under me." Jacob whispered lowly, I let in a slow deep breath as he spoke, "Moaning with that little voice of hers as I-" "That's it!" Nick shouted as he moved across the room to throw a punch at Jacob, I stood up quickly causing my chair to clatter onto the ground, Nick cupped his nose as he stumbled back from the impact of a punch, "Jacob. Stop it!" I shouted, and he turned to me panting with a chuckle, "And she speaks!" He smirked as Nick pushed passed him to stand between us. Jacob kept his eyes on my glare as he licked his lip of blood.

I looked to the kitchen door as it opened, Joseph walked in with John and I moved from behind Nick to step behind the table. "Joseph." I greeted curtly as he walked in, "My child, you've come back. What is it you are here for." I sighed as I leaned my fists on the table, "Before we talk, I want Jacob gone." I said, and he chuckled as Joseph looked to him and he left the room. I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized was I was holding deep in my chest as Joseph turned to press his forehead against John's, dismissing him along side the eldest brother. "I want you to leave." I started as I looked up into his unfazed blue eyes, "Your people will not hurt mine, and we won't hurt yours. You take Jacob's region. You can keep your little island, but from my friend Dutch's island straight across is ours. You stay away from Dutch, you stay out of Faith, and John's region. I have friends in the Whitetail Mountains, Eli Palmer, Tammy, and Wheaty. You hurt any of them, our little treaty is broken. Not that you'd ever find them. You stay in your territory, we stay in ours. Simple as that." "You're taking our home from us again." Joseph let out, and I looked down as I shook my head, "No. I will tell everyone to keep away from here.." Nick looked to me, and I ignored him, "I know how much this home means to you. You come here the weekends with Resistance watch until you're inside, but if I _ever_ catch you in  **my** region when you're not supposed to be here? I'll blow your god damn heads off myself." Joseph's jaw flexed and he let out a sigh, "I take it this is non-negotiable?" I nodded in confirmation, and he let out a slow deep breath followed by a long silence as Nick and I awaited his answer.

"Then you have a deal, Deputy."


	13. The Hate of The Baptist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heartbreak.

I stepped back as I tugged the rope of my grapple to unhook it from above me. The hook came tumbling down into the dirt and I looked to Nick with a smile. "It's our region, ain't it." He chuckled as he gestured me to follow him, I climbed into the back seat of Carmina. "Let's get this show on the road, Dep." He chuckled as he took off into the sky, I unclipped a little remote from my vest collar as I looked onto the mountain holding the giant letters of John's favorite word. "Light 'em up." I smiled and clicked the button down, the remote explosives placed along the structures blew the sign to pieces. "Holy shit, Kid. Did you just take out John's giant fuckin' sign? Fuckin' thing was an eyesore. Glad you took care of it. Just wish I could see the look on John Seed's face when he knew it came down." I laughed with Nick as we watched the debris crumbling around the mountain before taking off back home for dinner.

I was laying in bed half asleep in the morning after we had taking the sign down. I had had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat, I pushed my covers off of me and walked into my little kitchen area, flicking on my light as I looked up at the rising sun. I pulled my glass out from under the stream splashing from the faucet, I looked up and noticed that there were no lights on in the house. I furrowed my brows at this, looking to my clock. _8 A.M._ the clock mocked me as I stared back up to the home, pushing my sweat damp hair away from my face to tuck behind my ear. Nick should be up by now to feed Beth, it was his turn, Kim had reminded him a million times over dinner in a warning to not wake her up. I could swear there was a mechanical groan and click in the back of my head as I dropped my glass, and I opened my door quickly, running onto the porch of the Rye home to see the door had been kicked in. I made my way upstairs, feeling my robe flow behind me rapidly as I tripped over myself. I wiggled the handle of Beth's room to find it locked, "Kim! Kim, it's me! Let me in!" I shouted and heard a quick but muffled shuffling before the door was swung open, a very tired Kim Rye opened the door with tears in her eyes. I hugged her close before coming into Beth's room to see her sleeping in her crib, I turned to Kim and held her by her cheeks, "Kim.. Where's Nick?" I whispered, and she wiped her face of tears. "They took him.. That bastard took him." My heart sank, and my jaw set as I knew exactly who she meant.

I ran back down the stairs to my RV, snatching my walkie off my built in end table, I clicked the button down, "John Seed. Where the fuck is my brother." I growled into it as I walked out to the living room of my RV, there was silence for a long moment before my walkie came on with a static hum, and John's voice cut in as I grabbed my AR. "When this little uprising is over, you'll rebuild that piece by piece. You'll work until your fingers are worn to the bone. And when you're done? I'll bury you beneath it." I ground my teeth together as he avoided my question, walking up the steps to the porch where Kim stood with Beth. "Your actions have consequences, Deputy.." He started as I rubbed Kim's arm in reassurance. "I've gathered all your friends here in Fall's End to Atone for your sins." My face fell slack as I looked to her, and her eyes were wide. "You're welcome to join us. After all, if it weren't for you,  they wouldn't be in this predicament.." My jaw flexed as I threw my robe off and onto the porch. "This is your last change to say Yes, Deputy.. Don't be late." I could hear the smug grin in his voice as I clicked the walkie off.

I grabbed my muddy boots away from the front door to tug them on, zipping them half haphazardly as Kim went inside. She handed me the keys as I waited, running forward once I held them in my palm to go to the Rye family car. I hopped into the front seat, slamming my door behind me as the cold bit at my exposed skin. I was left only in my Whitetail Militia shirt, my striped shorts, knee socks fallen down to my calves over my combat boots. I looked like a mess with my scraggly locks and barley dressed appearance. I hauled ass down the road towards Fall's End, as I approached I could hear the church bell ringing, and I slammed on my brakes as I got outside of it. I furrowed my brows as I looked up at the decorated building, there was a trail of Bliss pedals leading up to the floral arch way with a red strip of  carpet leading up to the church steps. I walked up with my AR in hand, looking up to the crows nailed up against the wall with what looked to be rail spikes around the arch of the doorway. I flexed my jaw as I opened the door, only to be met with the butt of a gun and darkness.

When I woke up the world around me was blurred, I looked up to the Peggie standing on my collar bone with increasing pressure as my eyes fluddered open. I struggled against him as a sharp pain pierced over the flesh of my chest. John moved to hold me down, and the Peggie moved away. I looked up at John as he held the tattoo gun up, "Hold still.." He ordered, "It's supposed to say 'Wrath' not 'wrat'." He let out, and I groaned weakly, touching the angry bump on my head. As the tattoo gun was pressed into me again I hissed in pain as I tried not to struggled. "Sin must be exposed so it may be absolved. If we hide our sin..." He let out in a slight panting undertone, "We hide ourselves.. You will not hide any longer." John said as he looked into my eyes, "Your true self will spill out on this floor for all to see." He spoke lowly as he pressed the gun into my flesh to pierce deeper, more painfully into my soul. I looked down at my chest at the angry bold lettering under my scar of Lust. "Ahhhh.." John let out as he moved off of me, standing to hold his hands out as if lining up a shot of me. I found myself trailing my eyes down to my ripped open tee to expose my skin down to my rib cage. My black lacy bra on display with the tattoo as I sat up to look at the whole room. "..Perfect." 

I saw Peggies sitting in the pews looking back at me. I scanned over the walls, spray painted with the phrase ' **YES. JUST SAY YES**.' and the P.E.G. cross. I looked down to see a shirtless Nick and Jerome with guns to their head on my left, and Mary May held at gun point to my right. "If Mohammed won't come down the mountain, then bring the mountain to Mohammed." John annonced before spilling around to take the Book of Joseph from the Peggie to his left, "Let's begin!" He shouted and I was forced onto my feet and walked to the group. I saw Nick's jaw flex as he looked down at me wit concerned eyes. Nick and Mary May were forced to look forward with me, towards John as he smacked the Cult Bible into his wounded chest, knocking the Bible out of his hands and onto the ground. I glanced down to the book before looking to Mary May as she turned to me, "Sorry..." She whispered before she was forced to the front again. "I thought a friendly face might make your Atonement easier.." John explained as I looked at Jerome's bleeding chest.

"Our devoted.." John spoke, waiting for Jerome to echo. The Peggie hit the man on the shoulder when he was silent. "We are gathered here to bear witness.." John continued, he sighed when there was another passing of silence. Backing away as the Peggie pistol whiped the side of his head sending Jerome to the ground. We moved to catch him but was held back, Mary May drived herself towards John shouting, "You son of a bitch!" As a Peggie with a mullet held her, and she was smacked upside the head with the gun as well. I glanced down as the Word of Joseph bumped against my foot, and watched Jerome grab his bible. I looked up as John laughed, stepping forward to Jerome as he stood, "Let's try that again." Letting out more laughter as he came forward, grabbing Jerome by the back of the neck to force him towards Nick. "Our devoted. We are gathered here to bear witness.." John repeated, and Jerome groaned out before echoing the Seed, "Our devoted. We are gathered here to bear witness.." "To those willing to atone for their sins." Jerome glanced to me before he spoke, "To those willing to atone for their sins." He let out in a voice riddled with pain. "Will you Nick Rye place your hand upon The Word of Joseph." John said quickly, and Jerome let out in a growl, "Will you Nick Rye place y--" "Oh, Fuck that.Nah, I ain't ever giving in to that psychopath." Nick interrupted, John pushed Jerome away, stepping towards Nick who held his ground. 

Two Peggies held his arms back as John spoke, "And there it is. Greed." John hummed as he moved his hands across the air as if animating the letters into reality, "Always thinking of yourself.." There was a snorting sound before Nick spat in John's face, causing me to let out an inapproriate snot of laughter as John wiped it away, sparing m a breif glance before he grabbed Nick, pulling him forward I noticed the tattooed GREED over his chest. There was a long moment as John whispered into Nick's ear, and I wiggled in a struggle against the hold on me. When John pulled away he peered into his eyes with a knowing look, "Nick?" I looked into Nick's exposed eyes as he stared over at me, my heart stuttered at the look before he moved his gaze over to John, "Yes..." My face fell slack and I felt hot tears boiling to the surface. "Yes, I will Atone." Nick said firmly John gave a smug grin, holding his hand out towards the man who held a gun to Jerome's head, get gave John a knife, and Nick allowed himself to be taken to the ground. I struggled against the hold of the men as they yanked me back, Mary May shouted in protest as I watced silently as tears streamed down my face

_Please, take care of him.._

Kim's voice whispered in the back of my mind as Nick writhed on the ground, letting out agonizing shouts of pain as Mary May screamed, Jerome tried to come forward but the man held a gun nearly pressed into his eye keeping him in place. There was blood spluttering everywhere, and when John stood he was covered in the blood of my best friend, holding the strip of flesh that he had carved from his chest. "That is the Power of Yes!" John panted with a smile, "The power to take away your sins!" He shouted as he took the staple gun and slammed it over the piece of Nick to stick it onto the wall. "The power to set you free.." He breathed out as he patted Nick's shoulder with a blood coated hand before he stood. I looked down at Nick as a bandage was slapped over his wound, and John walked to wash his hands in the water bowl on the church podium. Flicking the water away he turned to look into my sharpened eyes. Tears drying on my cheeks as I watched him look down at my tattoo on the exposed skin of my breast while he grabbed the back of Jerome's neck again, "Will you, Elizabeth Pierce, place your hand upon The Word of Joseph.." John started, and Jerome echoed, "Will you, Elizabeth Pierce, place your hand upon The Word of Joseph.." "And renounce your sins and admit your transgressions." My jaw flexed as Jerome repeated it, "Say Yes.." He muttered as he looked down to his bible. I had a memory flash in my mind when my eyes landed on the Book, Jerome saving my life with the hallowed out book. "It's just one word.." John said, I glanced to him as I put my hand over the Book.

"Yes." I said as I looked into those bright blue eyes reflecting the sunlight to shine on his malice. I moved my hand to throw the cover open, grabbing the revolver as a Peggie shouted, "Gun!" I fired my shot but a woman hit my gun up to face the ceiling before I could get a real aim on John. I struggled with my hold on the weapon as John was rushed out of the church, holding a bleeding ear. "Get John to his ranch! Move!" A man shouted with his AR on me when Mary May tackled him to the ground. I stumbled to stand straight up as John shouted orders to take him to his air strip.  I shot out the Peggies with my friends as they came for us. "Watch me! We need my car!" Mary May shouted, and I followed, dodging bullets as I cleared the way while she ran ahead of us. I looked around to the cleared area, turning to Jerome to hold up my AR and taking a shot. The last Peggie dropped behind him, and he let out a sigh of relief, coming towards me panting, "I'll take care of Nick. Go, GO!" He said,  I nodded as I clapped my hand over his shoulder before running after Mary May, hopping into the gun of the car. I shot out the Peggie threats along the way as we speed off. Trucks to our right, Peggies on quads, Chosen in the sky as more approached from all around us. I watched the Chosen twirl in the sky leaving a smoke swirl as they crashed into the men around us. I turned to the YES sign that lead up to John's ranch, shooting ahead at the quad Peggies. "That's John's plane!" Mary May shouted, and I shot up at it as she sped up, "He's getting away!" 

We pulled into the hanger, shooting out at the men coming for us as the door was opened. "Get that plane!" Mary May shouted as she climbed into the gun herself. I climbed onto the wing to get into the plane, and take off after John. "Partner.. It's Nick." I looked down at my walkie as I came into the sky. "I'm not lettin' that motherfucker get away with this. I can fly if you need, just say the word." He said, I pulled the walkie up to speak into, "I wouldn't dream of taking that son of a bitch down without you, Nick Rye." I said with a smile, "Then count me the fuck in. Let's get this son of a bitch!" He shouted as the sound of his plane starting up came in the background. I saw him approaching as John's voice came in, "Nick Rye.. Have you already forgotten what I told you --" "Fuck you! You're a goddamn demon and we're gonna send you straight back to Hell. You hear me!? You're a dea man." John came through with laughter in his tone, "My, my, my -- How contagious Wrath can be." Yeah from you if anyone, you fucking psycho. "I'll just have to kill you both." "You threatened my family, John. Hurt my brother, I told you if you crossed us. I'd take you down myself. And I fucking plan on it."

Nick and I zeroed in on him, with him in my sight I fired my gun. As I did his voice came again, "The Father gave you a chance for salvation, and you threw it away! Look at what you've done! Look at the Wrath you have wrought!" He shouted as our planes swirled around each other, Nick shooting at him as he went out of my view from above. We both shot at him as his plane moved through out the air to avoid us, "You could have helped us build a paradise. A future. Instead you chose to burn it all down!" I flexed my jaw as I shot at the wings, "I would have built your paradise. I believed in your future. I believed in your family! But you screwed me over, John. I trusted you too! This isn't on me, you were the ones who went behind my back!" I shouted into my walkie as I shot at him. I noticed the trail of smoke following him, and felt an odd feeling bubble in my chest. My heart burned with victory and a deep sadness as I continued to fire at John. "Aghh! No! NO! --" The wing of his plane exploded and rocked his leveling. "I'm losing control!" John's voice cut in with static as he lost altitude, "I've ha--! --down!" His voice cut in and out as he spiraled down towards the Earth, "John's plane has crashed! Father protect him!" A voice came in as I moved down to follow straight through the trail of the smoke coil left in the sky. "Brothers.. Sisters, Do not fear.. We have prepared for this. The Father has shown us the way.. Prepare my bunker. I am coming to join you.. We will await The Collapse together.." John's voice came through as he fell through the sky, clicking his radio off as he landed into the lake with a large splash.

I landed on the shore as John swam out of the water, I walked up to the dock as he struggled to climb up. I grabbed him by both his arms and forced him to break free into the air away from the water. He looked up at me, panting weakly as he dripped over the dock. I threw him ahead to roll passed it into the clearing I had landed in. He landed limply from the force, dropping awkwardly like a sack of potatoes. He let out wheezing breaths as I looked down at the key that hung around his neck, I grabbed it, pulling him up by the necklace as I tried to break it off of him. John grabbed me by the wrist as he let out weak breaths when he looked up at me. I twisted the necklace in my grip as he coughed up blood, "What if Joseph is right? Did you eer stop to think about that? Everyone thinks he's crazy, but he's not. Look around you.. This world is on the brink. You can feel it in your bones.. I know you can." I looked down as he spoke, "Look at the headlines.. Look at who's in charge." He laughed before he went into a short coughing fit, "You want this key.. Because you think you're saving people, but they _are_ _already_ safe.."

"We had a plan." He trailed off sadly as he swallowed thickly and I loosened my grip slightly as I knelt down to reduce my strain. "You don't understand.. You don't believe. You don't care!" He shouted as he gripped into my wrist painfully, I yanked it back to try and get away, the leather rope of his necklace snapped and dangled over our hands. "I do understand, John. I believe in the Project, but you have strayed from the Path you made for yourselves.. And I sure as shit care.." I muttered, my voice breaking as I sat on my knees, pulling him into my lap as he looked up at me with a far away glance. "I love you, John.." I whispered as I let tears fall from my eyes, onto his cheeks, my lip twitched before I let a sob out. He groaned in agony as he looked up at me, I moved to press our foreheads together in Joseph's comforting way, "And I loved you, sister.." He whispered as he held my wrist. He let out a struggled breath before his grasp on me slipped, his hand connected with the Earth, and I looked into his dulling blue eyes as hot tears streamed over my cheeks onto his. I moved to hold him tightly as I sobbed, cradling his head in my arms as I rocked weakly as I choked on my tears. "Ellie.." Nick's voice came gently, and I felt a hand on my shoulder, "You did what you had to do.." He reassured me as he knelt down to my height, I pulled away from John and looked up at Nick, "Then why does it hurt so bad."

"Because you loved them.."

Nick helped me load John into my plane, and I flew out to his ranch. Mary May had the Resistance clear out the rest of the Peggies with her, so when I came there was no one there to bother me as I unloaded John, and began to dig at the start of the air strip. No one was there as I sobbed into the soil of the Earth. No one to help me pick up John Seed, and bury him in the dirt of the place he cared about. The place he worked for, built his life up from the ground, and was able to buy, lost to him in the war waging between the Project, and the Resistance. I didn't want Nick's help, and I didn't want anyone in the world to see just how broken I was about the death of John Seed. The man who tortured innocent people, the man who kidnapped one of my best friends, who kidnapped me on occasion, who forcefully tattooed me. Because no one in the Resistance, or even in the Project outside of his family and myself knew him.. 

John was kind deep down, he cared for his family. All John ever wanted was to be loved, by his family, by Joseph, by everyone.. He believed in the Project with his whole heart, he wanted to do it justice for his brother. John was the first to believe me about my past when I told him after my mom.. He cooked dinner with a song, the way he carried himself like he was preforming for you, the kindness he showed in his eyes when I opened the door for him to join us for dinner. The genuine smiles, and gentle hugs. His blissful laughter, and childish nature when things went wrong. He was competitive, watchful, he liked a challenge, he was always at your side when you needed him the most. John was protective, loving to those he cared about, and I had been one of them.  
I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand covered by my sleeve as dirt clung to my sweat creating a thin layer of mud over me. I moved the blue sunglasses off of the top of my head as I looked down at the grave, looking around I saw one of the crosses that Peggies they'd use to.. Well put people on as a mini crucifixion. I put it over John's grave, stepping back as I held his sunglasses in my hands.

"Goodbye, Johnny.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I bawled writing the death scene, and basically cried for the rest. I hope I made you cry with me lmao. There's more of this to come, so be prepared because I was not.


	14. The Love of The Siren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More heartbreak.  
> Also, a surprise romance ahead that I never planned, but ya know.. It happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys ready to cry??  
> Surprise love interest I just now fell for bc I had a stupid idea to make more sad times happen.  
> I'll give you some fluffy goodness before that?  
> Also, Self destructive Deputy. Woop woop  
> My dudes, or dude with the one fan I know for sure I've got-- It's 7,225 words??? Holy crap, enjoy

"You changed your hair, Dep." Eli greeted, and I chuckled with a slight smile. "How did you know." I said as I tucked the raven black locks behind my ear, "Ah, I've got an eye for these things. Noticing subtle changes is my thing." He joked as he looked over my elbow length locks, and the thick bangs that hung over just barley brushing the bottom of my eyebrows, faded out along my cheek bones. "If you ever came out of this bunker, it has a purple tint in the sunlight." I smiled as I smoothed my fingers through the strands that had blown around in the cold air. "It suits you." He said as he continued writing on the map across the table, I smiled softly at the comment as I smelt the strand twisted around my finger -- The dye I got had 'fruit extract' that made it feel, and smell amazing. It left a aroma of mixed berries with my usual coconut and lavender. I looked down at Eli's map in curiosity as he worked, he looked over to my silent stare and gave a slight chuckle. "Trying to map out more Prepper Stashes we located, get us some more supplies, preferably before the Peggies get to it." I nodded as I scanned over the map with a studying gaze. "You wanna head out to some of them for me?" Eli chuckled, and I smiled up at him, "I wanna be a part of the fun. I had a near full year of no rebellion. Gotta make up for lost time." I grinned, and he looked down at me with softening eyes, "You mean you gotta make up for leaving?" My smile wavered as I looked down, "Wow, just call me out, why don't you.." I chuckled softly as he watched me, "I just know you, Kid."

I took a deep breath as I shifted to stand straight, "Why does everyone call me that?" I changed the subject, this not lot on Eli as he gave me a knowing look before he shrugged to mark the map up for me, "Maybe because you're the kid of this family. Think about it, between me, Dutch, Sheriff Whitehorse you're surrounded by some grumpy old men. Tammy, your friend Rye, Hell -- Even Wheaty's older than you, even if only by a year." I gaped as I looked to Wheaty, "You're older than me?" He chuckled as he shuffled through the Vinyls I'd gotten him. "Well that is so unfair. Wheaty's a damn teenager." I whined as I looked back to Eli. "Hey!" I turned to him with a chuckle, "Sorry, just hard to believe  _you're_ almost 30." I said, and he smiled as he walked over, "So are you, Dep. I'll take that as a complement though. Putting aside the teenager thing.." I chuckled as he put his arm around me, looking up as I slid mine around his waist, "It's those blessed genes ya' got there, Wheaty. Keep you lookin' like a pretty boy for a while." He rose his eyebrows with a chuckle, " _Deputy Pierce_. Are you  _hitting_ on me?" I grinned as I looked up at him with a shrug, "I've got a thing for older guys." He chuckled as he looked down at me, "You don't say." He commented, and I smiled, my gaze falling down as I brushed off the meaning behind it before I flickered my eyes towards Eli, "They're just more appealing.. _Experienced_." I chuckled, looking up at him with a thoughtful hum, "Now that I think about it, you're a bit young for my taste." I teased, and he gave me a fux gasp at what I was insinuating, "Oh, my bad -- Let me go get my cane." He pulled away like he was gonna leave I gasped, elbowing him in the side as I laughed, "Oh, Fuck off." I let out as he laughed with me, I glanced over to Eli who had a content smile on his face as he watched us joke around. Wheaty ruffled my hair as he walked off, "Like your new hair, by the way." I smiled as I watched him return to his little happy space.

I fixed my messed up bangs as I looked back to Eli with a smile as I let out traced of a laugh with every breath I took till I was calm. "It's good for him to have a friend his age." He chuckled, I leaned on the table as I let out a hum, "Probably for me too since apparently I am a child compared to everyone I take interest in." I chuckled, looking up at him, "And you are so not an old man, by the way. Dutch is  _65_ , and Whitehorse is 55. You're only like what.. 33? 34 _maybe_." I asked, and he chuckled, "31." I hummed, "It's the beard.. But come on, you're only _31_ , Eli. That isn't an old man. That's like half of the old men's age. You can say that once you're in your late 40s." I smiled as I read the markings on his map while he let out a faint chuckle, "You and Wheaty spending time around me makes me feel old." I laughed slightly as I moved to face the monitors, my elbows resting on the table with my head tilted back to feel the short length on my arms. "We're only five years apart, Eli. Only four with Wheaty, that's not old. You may be grumpy, but not old." I chuckled softly as I looked up at him while leaned against the table, "Just look so much older because of that.. Forest on your face." I grinned when he gave a laugh, "Trim it and maybe you won't feel like an old man." He hummed as he looked down at me with his deep brown eyes that looked onyx black in the dim lighting of the Wolf's Den. My gaze flicked down as I moved closer to look at the map with him, I felt the fabric of my loose crop top slip when I shifted. I looked up at Eli when he looked away at the blackberry purple lace peeking out, I tugged the black sleeve back up over my shoulder before turning on my crossed elbows flat on the table. "Am I free to take this then?" I asked as I smoothed a hand over the paper. "Go for it." Eli spoke with a gravely voice, and I let a smile come over my face with rose tinted cheeks. "See you soon then."

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror of the bunker I stood in as I slowly smoothed matte gloss over my lips. I puckered my plump lips painted in the dark teal as I looked into my dulling chameleon eyes. I traced my hand along my loose crop top's thick straps, pulling at the purple bra strap before letting it smack down on my flesh. I stepped back at to see my leather pants clinging to my body before I walked away with the faint thumping of my plain black wedged sneakers under me as I pulled on my black trench coat to protect my exposed skin from the cold outside. I grabbed my duffel bag full of guns, ammunition, money, and canned goods. I zipped it up quickly as I made my way out of the bunker, closing the large doors behind me as I went to the quad Eli gave me. I straddled it, taking off before the Peggies could close in on me. I zipped through the woods, weaving around the trees, maneuvering around any micro-craters in the Earth, bouncing over hills, water splashing around me as I landed in streams before speeding off. 

I made sure no Peggies were in sight before I pulled the hood of my trench coat up and made my way up the path leading to the Wolf's Den, jumping off with my bag as I walked up the rest of the way as to not draw attention to myself if Jacob had cameras out here, I didn't want to lead him to Eli. I whistled out my signal to Eli so he would be sure that I wasn't shot on sight when I got to the entrance. I tugged the key over my head to unlock the bunker and come in, locking it behind me as I walked down the steps, around the hall to meet Eli's eyes as I dropped the bag on the table with a smile as I pulled my hood off. "Your package, sir." I grinned, leaning on the table as he slid it over to open it up with a faint chuckle, "Found you a big one." He said as he split up the loot to give me a quarter of the ammo, and half the money. "You don't have to give me all this, Eli." I said as I moved my fingers along the paper bundled up in rubber bands. "Sure I do, you took all the risk going to get this all alone." He said, leaning on the table to my level, "How come Rye wasn't with you? Didn't even take Peaches or Siris." I shrugged as I glanced up at him, "Just felt like being alone, I have plans later on that I'd prefer to do without my companions tagging along with me." I chuckled as I looked down, he studied me under a watchful gaze, "You've been dressed up since you came over, you're even wearing make up now, and you never wear makeup." He spoke in observation, I shrugged as I stood up straight. "You can baby sit me if you want, Palmer.. But I'll carry out with my plans like you weren't there." I said as I backed away from the table, he gave me an odd look as he stood with me and I moved my gaze away from him, "Thanks for the big cut, but I've gotta go.." I murmured before turning on my heels to leave the bunker.

I sat in the bar stool as I sipped on my fruity drink while eyeing the man who'd sent me my refill, watching him as he swaggered over to me. The floor vibrated as horrible music played, at least nothing that was my last. There was no variation in it now a days, just asses and straight forwardly talking about fucking women. I liked a rare number of the music they played now, but set in my goth ways, I preferred the darker tunes that made me snake myself around a man's finger as I lured him in with my darkening energy as the hateful sex music hummed over my body. I pulled the cherries off the plastic straw with my tongue as I waited for him to sit beside me and deliver cheesy lines. I didn't listen to him when he spoke, I was zoned out on his bright blue eyes that caused my mind to flicker and buzz in a low hum. I felt my heart swelling as I sipped slowly, looking into his eyes that held an oddly strong resemblance to my reason for drinking. I set my drink down, leaning forward to connect our lips together to shut him up. He was shocked, but pleased to move to the good part as we twined our tongues together, my fruity tang mixing with the bitter taste of his beer. I pulled away to whisper against his lips, "Take me to your place."

I woke up with a slow inhale, I turned over in the unfamiliar bed to look over to the man with all too familiar eyes that didn't belong to him. I pushed myself out of the bed to pull my clothes on, glancing at myself in the mirror of his messy apartment. My teal lips were faded to a dull color that had only been left in traces. I glanced to the ground as I covered myself up before walking out of the place as silent as I could, locking the handle behind me before I vanished from the building. I took in a deep breath of the cool morning air as I walked down the street, looking around to the trees that towered over my small figure. I noticed I wasn't as close the Whitetail Mountains as we'd been before, furrowing my brows to figure out where to go from here but just kept on walking, wandering really. I heard the sound of an engine, turning to it hoping maybe a Resistance member would give me a ride. When I turned around it was to a familiar white truck, and a sharp pain in my neck causing me to gasp. I moved my hand up to yank the dart from my jugular as my vision clouded, I wobbled in place before I dropped to the ground limply.

"I don't understand.." A distant voice spoke as my eyes fluttered open into reality.. Or what I saw as reality in my Bliss filled haze, looking around to the green puffs of air that fogged over the wooded area around me as I sat up. "Did you think you could just continue to do what you wanted without consequences?" Faith's voice came clear as it danced through my ears while I watched a fluttering butterfly. Shocked when Faith replaced it in my view within seconds, the Bliss slowing my reflexes as I looked up at the girl slightly as she had two inches on myself. "I've been reasonable. I've been fair.. But you are just so _selfish_!" She shouted as she pushed me away, and the world around me moved too fast for my mind to make out any image but white surrounding Faith as she glared at me. I was forced to turn around as she seemingly teleported behind me. "You forced someone to leave that didn't want to go." She let out through clenched teeth as she turned my attention to the distance where I could make out foggy silhouettes. Faith grabbed me by the lapel of my coat and dragged me with her as we flashed over to the scene she wanted me to watch unfold. 

First I saw Virgil, sitting at his desk with a beer, and leather glove covered hands across him, face blocked with Faith's own. When she moved I saw Burke playing cards with the older man. "All so you could be what? A hero?" She said as I watched Burke, my attention drawn to the blue butterfly that sat on his shoulder. She looked over me as she moved backwards, "Do you know what hubris is?" She asked as she trailed her fingers across Burke's back as she walked across to the other side of him. "Arrogance before the Gods." She answered as she pushed herself onto the desk, letting her legs follow with the weight slowly before she pressed them into the desk. "The Greeks saw it as a dangerous for of pride that invoked the goddess, Nemesis, who would seek retribution.." She spoke in a lulling voice as I approached the desk when she stood. "I win this hand, you have to wear a button." Virgil's voice came as he pulled the button out, I traced my hand over where the button would be on my vest as I watched him. "Whaddya say?" He smiled to Burke who Faith was trailing her hand over again. "Straight flush." The Marshal spoke as he laid his cards out, and Faith smoothed her hands over both his biceps, "If violence is the only language you choose to speak.." She spoke in a hum as I looked over at her, "Then I'll speak your language." She assured with a sharp green gaze. I watched with a dazed mind as Faith moved her hand over Burke's, "And when their blood is on your hands..."

"And when their blood is on your hands..." Burke repeated as his hand slipped to his side. Like a shot of adrenaline to my heart, I lurched forward when I realized what was happening. I shouted for Virgil, but he couldn't hear me. "We'll see how heroic you feel.." They spoke, and I moved to yank Faith's arm away from Burke but he already shot Virgil through the lung. I gasped as tears rippled through my body and leaked from my eyes. "I'm sorry I had to do this." Faith spoke with Burke in echo, "I wanted there to be another way." They said as he moved across the room while she stood in front of me, "But you made your choice." I shook my head, "Faith.. I didn't want to kill him, he attacked my friends, and me. He threatened to kill my best friends wife, and one year old daughter." I whispered as I moved to meet her eyes. "Who opened the doors?!" A voice came, and I looked over to Burke as he took down the security of the Jail within seconds, opening every door before shooting out the control pannels as I stood there, useless to them. "Oh shit, they're inside!" A voice echoed in the distance as gunfire came through. "I told you.. I didn't want to leave." Burke said as he raised his gun to his head, "No!" I shouted as the shot rang through, and his brain splattered across the consoles. 

"Peggies in the control room! Rook! Anyone! We're under att-- No! Hold 'em back!" Whitehorse's voice broke out as I rolled onto my back to look into the night sky, pushing myself out of the Bliss field that fuzzed my brain into a haze. An alarm blared in the distance as I stumbled to my feet, I looked ahead and found myself across the road from the Jail. I tripped over myself as I ran forward when an explosion came, I pushed myself on to force my legs into a sprint. "They grabbed the Sheriff! Fuck! Earl's been taken!" Tracey's voice came as my feet shielded only by socks at this point hit the asphalt. "Rook --  Where the fuck are you?!" I let out a groan of pain as twigs and grass poked at me from their place ensnared in the fabric of my black socks. I cut through the fielded area, ignoring the absorbent nature of my socks as I came to the parking area outside of the Jail. There was smoke in the air, swirling into the sky as I looked towards the destroyed gate. "I hope you're close, Rook. Fuckin' Peggies are inside, they've blocked th entries. There's a vent on the roof. Find a way up, and come in through it. Hurry!" Tracey spoke in a rushed voice with panting as gunfire rung around her. 

I smacked my fist across an Angel's jaw knocking the balded woman out before picking up the curved pipe from the ground as it clattered. I swung it at an approaching Angel and send them flying away from me as I ran for a latter, climbing up. I stepped back as Faith stood before me as I came to my feet on the stone wall. "Look at you rushing to help. Don't worry.. Your friends will be safe with me." I swung my pipe at her making her disappear in a puff of Blissful air. I ran around the wall as I looked up at the roof looking for a way up. I skidded in place when a man with an AR shot below us as he strolled around the stone. I slowly made my way over to him as silent as I could before I bashed him upside his head, pulling away with the blood stained pipe that I slipped in my belt as I picked up his gun. Shooting at any Peggie I saw until I got to the back wall of the prison. I looked at the roof that stuck out from the building, looking to my sides as Peggies approached I moved back to the edge of the wall before sprinting forward to land onto the slanted roof. I slid down due to my socks but grabbed onto the barred windows to keep myself up, I hoisted to a standing position as I shot at the two men across me. When they dropped I turned to the bars I held onto, lifting up to stand on the cross hatched metal to lift higher up, grabbing onto the cement building to roll myself onto the roof.

I panted as I rolled onto my back before hopping up to look for a way further up the roof, I spotted lines of blue in the distance and ran towards them to climb up the latter. When I hopped over the stone wall I spotted Faith dancing in a slow sway beside the open ventilation, I walked towards her as she smiled at me in a mockingly pouted manner. "Awww... Still trying to be the hero.. It's too late you know.. You should have listened when you had the chance." "I did listen, and you continued to fuck me over when I trusted you." I let out as looked into her eyes holding the top of the vent before climbing into it on all fours. I dropped down and crawled forward until I came into an opening, looking down at the cells below with a few Peggies crawlin' around, hostages knelt on the ground with ropes tied over their arms. I looked to my left to a man keeping watch, I glided over as silently as I could to bash him upside the nape of his neck into his skull so he tumbled down to bleed out.

I looked down as the man dropped a bow, I grabbed it and yanked his arrows from his back so that I could put it over my shoulder, looking down as I lined up a shot with a man below, taking him out I watched as he fell limp onto the ground with an arrow through his eye socket. I walked to where he was, dropping down through the hold in the ground, I moved back into the cell behind me as I kept an eye on the men around  the hostages. I took a deep inhale as I shot one man, two, three, four all dropped within a minute as the civs looked around for who'd taken the men down. I lifted myself onto the bars to hop over and land onto the ground below as I cut the last rope around a person's wrist I heard Tracey's voice called out to me, "Rook! Over here!" I looked back to jog over to Tracey, pulling on the bars of the door as  I glanced down, "S-Something happened with Virgil, and the Marshal.. A-And everything went nuts.." She said as she let out pants, looking up at me, "They got the Sheriff, Rook.. They got everyone! We're in trouble.. We gotta move! The gates locked --  One of those fuckers out there has the  key. Hurry!" 

I turned to search each of the men dropped to the ground until I spotted a little yellow tag and pulled it out of the dead man's pocket. I gasped as I looked up to Faith directly in front of me. "It's so sad.. You're trying so hard for nothing.." I ignored her, turning around before jogging back over to unlock Tracey's gate. I helped her onto her feet and she went into Virgil's office. "Oh no.. no ..no ...no." She let out tearfully as she pulled Virgil's lifeless body into her lap and in that moment I remembered John. How hard it had been on me to kill him, and that I would have to kill Faith.. "Help me!" She shouted and I stumbled forward onto my knees to try anything. "Put pressure on it!" She choked out and I pressed down onto the gunshot wound as I glanced up to his lifeless face as Tracey leaned his head back while gently patting his face trying to get him to respond. I slid my hands from his chest to take her arm gently making her look up at me, "Trace..." I murmured to her causing her eyes to soften with a deep sadness when I shook my head slowly. "Oh god.." She let out as she held him over the shoulders, cradling his limp form as she choked out sobs while I remained silent with my tears as I looked to the ground, picking up a button covered in sticky crimson blood, wiping it with my thumb I held it as tears fell from my blue eyes. Tracey glanced to me before moving her hands to Virgil's pin on his vest, yanking it from the fabric to look over it with a tearful gaze while she shook her head slowly, "This is what she does.. Takes... Destroys." I shifted on my knees as she pulled me to her,

"Find her. Kill her. Don't let her get away with this.

* * *

 

"Now you see what we can do." Faith's voice came as I stood in front of a metal gate that held the P.E.G. symbol, for a moment wondering if I'd been taken to the actual gate they kept talking about as it swung open slowly. "Come to me, and I'll show you a world you never dreamed possible." As I walked forward I found myself entranced as I walked through the glowing land. Was this her vision of the world after the Collapse? The New Garden. I followed the path of nature with glowing orbs flowing from the Earth under my step as I came into a large clearing. "Amazing Grace.." Faith's voice lulled as I watched a butterfly come passed me, waiting for Faith to appear as her voice bounced around my brain. "How sweet the sound.." I turned with the fluttering blue insect to look over at Faith leading Whitehorse by the hand, he had a large smile on his face as if her were an excited child being lead to a surprise. "That saved.. a wretch liike me." Faith sang as the Bliss washed through my brain causing the flowers to move into a three D color effect of blue and red around me. "I once was lost..." I watched as the Sheriff picked a Bliss flower at Faith's guidance, "But now am found.. Was blind..." I listened to Whitehorse's echo as she lead him forward, reaching out for him only to have the younger girl grab me by the arm to prevent me from interfering. "Your Sheriff strayed you from the Path.. But now he understands it's purpose." She smiled, turning to him, "And he'll join our family in Eden." I looked to Whitehorse as he wandered off ahead, Faith turned me to her by a light trace of my jaw, "And if you try to stop him.." She spoke warning but giggled before she continued, disappearing in a cloud of Bliss. 

I felt the mint green fog dancing inside of my lungs as my gaze buzzed a stark white that sent a gentle vibration over my body as I moved forward. "Your Sheriff was a wall." She spoke as she flickered into existence before me. I followed her voice but she vanished when I got just a few feet away, "A wall between you and The Father.." She whispered from behind me as my legs tingled weakly while I made my way to the large rock in the center of the clearing to rest. When I knelt on it, Faith appeared above me as he hovered over the Earth. I looked up at her as I stumbled onto my back to land on the ground, I felt something at my side and grabbed at it. Lifting my arm up I saw it was my AR that had fallen to the ground along side me. "So, I will knock down that wall.." She spoke in a contorted voice, and I aimed at Faith then took a shot at her. In a poof of green smoke and rose petals she vanished. I heard screaming around me and shot out at approaching Angels. 

For what felt like forever passed with Faith disappearing, and reappearing when I shot her, Angels surrounding me only to vanish with a hit. She talked about the Sheriff being saved by the Father. She appeared all around me in an illusion of copies mirrored around the clearing while I shot out and shattered each one.  "You could have joined us in Eden.. Instead, you will die _alone_." She let out lowly when each of her vanished. "I _wanted_ to join you, Faith! I loved _all_ of you! But _you're_ the ones who drove me away in the end. This isn't on me!" I hid behind the large rock, laying against it as I patched myself up before standing on it to shoot out at her. " _Why_ do you keep fighting us?! You **know** what's coming-- The Father _showed_ you.. The world is _crashing_ to an end! It is _diseased_ and **corrupt**. The Father is offering you a chance to let go.. to stop worrying.. To be _free_!" She shouted as she appeared all around me once again for me to take out one by one in extreme caution when she shot out her odd force at me that reminded me of getting my head dunked into Bliss filled water. 

"You cannot cross The Father!" She shouted as her petals darkened, and her appearance became more scattered. "You throw away what I offer?!" She shouted from behind me, and I whipped around to fire at her. "You strike but you cannot destroy what He created." Well, I've certainly destroyed a lot of it. "Don't you see what you're doing?" I moved to hide behind the rock again as my body pulsed in pain, trying to shut itself down from the amount of pain that ripped over me. "You will never know what I know!" I furrowed my brows in confusion as I panted against the rock while it vibrated violently from the impact of her blows. "It's not my fault.. None of this was my fault! You think I wanted this? He plied me with drugs... He threatened me.. I was seventeen.. I was just a child.." She let out in a broken voice, and appeared over me. "The Father sees what you do.. And he with remember!" I felt a pang in my heart as I held the AR out, I shot her from my laid position on the ground making her vanish again as I was covered in petals of Bliss white and Rose red with a crimson mist over me that spotted me with red freckles. 

"You still don't understand.." Faith started as she stood before me in a Bliss filled field of view. "You don't know what it is you're doing, do you?" She let out weakly as she stepped forward, I moved back as I scanned her damaged features with a heavy weight over my heart. She cast her eyes down at the rejection and stood in place as she spoke, "Joseph believes he's our savior," I furrowed my brows as she referred to him by name, and spoke as though she didn't believe what he did. "But you'll be the one who decides what happens.. You are the start.. and you will be the end.." She spoke weakly, and I stepped forward with my hand out stretched, she took it and nearly collapsed on the spot, "Faith... What did Joseph do to you.." I whispered as I held onto her, looking into her broken green eyes for answers. "It was always going to happen this way.." She muttered ignoring my question, "Take me to the water.. Please..." She whispered, and I picked her up in a bridal manner to carry her to the lake split stream, the water soaking through the fabric in a swift crawl with every step I took until the water tickled at my belly button in gentle waves. "You'll walk the Path... You'll rescue your Sheriff. You'll be The Hero." She murmured as the lake licked at her while I eased her into the water, she cupped my cheek to pull me to her, I pressed my forehead against hers as she smiled. "And then... You'll choose.." Faith let out in a voice weakly above a whisper, pulling me into a gentle kiss that left cold Bliss tickling at my lips. Her ice lips moved away from me and laid back in my arms limply. "Choose.. Choose what Faith..? Faith..?" I whispered as I held her, but she didn't respond, she floated gently in my arms as I looked down at her.

I let in a deep breath as I moved my arm from hooking under her legs to close her eyes before holding her by the small of her back, propping her up on my knee as I cradled her head in my hand. "What did he do to you..." I muttered against her forehead as I let myself be rocked in the smooth stream that pushed over us. I closed my eyes as tears cut through the cold that bit at my cheeks, pressing my lips against her forehead while I held her in silence. "Amazing... Grace." I whispered in a crack of my voice, "How sweet the sound.." I let out in a sob, biting my quivering lip before continuing, "That saved.. a wretch like.... Me." I sang as the Bliss water washed over my skin, "I once was lost..." I moved my arm from her back, feeling the drugged water tickle at my pores, "But now am found.. Was blind... But now I see.." I let go of her head to let her dirty blonde locks absorb the cool water as I stood, I held her hand as she floated away from me. I let her fingers slip from mine as she was pulled away by the current to drift through the universe until it came to an end.

* * *

I walked down metal steps as a dull feeling hummed over me. Nick, the Resistance, and even the Whitetail Militia helped me raise Hell in Faith's bunker, the Sheriff was safe and sound thanks to all of their help taking it down. I held a Bliss flower in my hand, twirling the stem in between my fingers as I came into the Wolf's Den. I set my back pack on the ground, taking out my sketch book John had given me, I placed the flower in the back, pressing it closed over the flower before slipping it back into my bag. "Pierce." Eli spoke as I zipped the bag, standing up slowly to meet his gaze. "Hey, Eli.." I let out in a scratchy voice before clearing my throat painfully due to it's raw nature from my wails of grief. "How's Wheaty? I know he headed back before me, I came to make sure he made it." I let out as I leaned against the table, Eli stood in front of me as he gave a nod, "He took a shower, ate dinner while I made sure he was okay, and now he's resting." I nodded with a faint sigh of relief at his words. "How about you?" I looked up at him, shrugging slightly, "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? Got an arrow sticking outta me somewhere?" I asked in a humorous tone as I reached over my shoulder. "I don't mean physically, Kid. You seem pretty much invincible there.. I mean with everything that happened." I glanced up at him slowly, "What'd you mean?" I asked as I crossed to the other side of the table, standing diagonal to him I was met with the deep brown eyes filled with a knowing gaze, "The Seed family meant something to you, Pierce. You can't hide that, not with the way you acted after John's death.. You've been makin' some pretty stupid decisions.." I blushed as I looked away, "Stalk much, Palmer.." I murmured defensively, he let out a slow sigh as he steps an inch closer, "It ain't like that, and you know it." He said lowly, I looked up at him as I let out a deep breath. "I know.. Sorry."

"I don't care about that." He started as he walked around the table to stand to my right Look, I keep tabs on you because I want to make sure you're safe. I had a team out dealing with a Prepper after you left and I saw you go into a bar, come out with a man then you disappeared and all this stuff went down with Faith.." He said, and I looked down at the ground. "I'm not saying he planned it, but it seems awfully convenient that those Peggies knew where to find you." I sighed as I glanced to the side, "I get, I was stupid.." Eli shook his head, "That's not the point I'm trying to make. I need you to look after yourself, I don't want you getting hurt. I want you to be safe and sound every night when you go to bed. A strangers is far from it.." I felt an odd stutter in my heart as he spoke, Shame danced around inside of me along side Regret in an obscene manner as they mocked me. "Look, I'm not trying to pry on your life, I just want to make sure you won't get hurt, Kid." I nodded slightly as I took in a deep breath, "I know that, Eli. I'm not mad that you brought it up, I just wish there wasn't anything  _to_ bring up.. Not something like this at least." He nodded in understanding, "Alright, let's talk about something not so stupid that you did. Saving Whitehorse. Taking down Faith's bunker. Taking down those two even though you care about them. You're incredible, and I know you don't appreciate that enough. Hell, I don't think anyone does. Before you rolled up on Falls End, there wasn't a damn thing us small groups could change.. Then you came along, my Militia grew with the Resistance, people got the courage to stand up and fight. You did that. For all of us, you help everyone you come across, and I think that's more amazing than anything I've seen people do out here. You care, and we need more of that. More people like you." I smiled softly, glancing down as I nudged his foot with mine in a playful kick, "Thanks, Mountain Man." He chuckled faintly with a nod, "No problem, Kid."

I moved my hand forward on the table, sliding my fingers into Eli's. My hand grazed his as I looked up at him letting in a deep breath at his watchful gaze, he was still at the contact as if he didn't know what to do. I slipped my hand to lock over his, and I felt his hand twitch before he moved it in to interlock with mine. He came closer to me, my lungs filled with his scent warming me. I was caught of guard however when a cool metallic feeling tickled over the surface of my skin, and I looked down to his left hand that I held to a golden band. I pulled my hand away immediately at the glistening ring that wrapped around his finger, I stepped away to turn and leave. Eli grabbed me by the upper arm, looking down at me with soft eyes, "It's not like that." I moved my arm out of his grasp, and he stepped back when I did so as if I'd slapped him with a silent warning. "She's not here anymore. She left me a long time ago.." I glanced to the entrance hall with a heavy feeling on my chest, "My son died years back.." He whispered and my gaze snapped back to him, "He was barley 16.. He was killed by Cultist, that's why she left me. She blamed me for his death, I wore the ring waiting for the day she'd come back, but she never did.. Now it was a part of me, a part of my life. It's important to me, but I promise you that it's not like  _that_. I didn't mean to spook you off, I'm sorry." I shook my head as I looked down, "No, I'm sorry.. I should have looked for a ring before I tried going and kissing people.." I murmured with reddened cheeks,

"Don't be sorry. Stuff like this is never planned." He reassured as he leaned against the table, "We don't plan the people we fall in love with.. You never would have seen yourself with Jacob. I would have never seen my wife falling in love with me. It happened, and we're lucky enough to have had that. I still love my wife, and you _still_ love Jacob. There's no escaping that, when we love someone so deeply.. It's forever." I looked down as he spoke, not bothering to deny it. "I told you when we first met that I wouldn't judge you, and I expected the same from you. I don't think you're stupid for trusting Jacob Seed.. I was dumb enough to work for Jacob myself a few years back.." I rose my eyebrows at the new information bubbling around in my brain. "Who do you think built him all those Peggie Bunkers..? You think I saw any of this coming? Hell no. Because of it, my wife blamed me when our boy died." He let out a deep, slow sigh as he continued, "You didn't see yourself loving him when you saved your friend, right?" I shook my head, and a smile ghosted his lips, " _Hell no_. I was a part of the Cult. So were you, Deputy. I don't care about what you did, what Jacob has done to you. You got that fire in your eyes, and that's what I like about you. Don't let it go out because you let yourself fall in love.. I ain't got a damn thing against you for any of that." I looked down as I stepped forward, peering up at him as I parted my lips. When he showed hesitance in moving I cast my eyes down with a chuckle, "Look -- I can't take all this rejection, Palmer.. Send me some clearer vibes." He smiled, shaking his head as he moved closer to me, "Believe me, I'm not rejecting you, Dep.. I'm just making sure that you aren't doing this for any stupid reason.." He whispered as he tucked a stand of my raven locks behind my ear. "I want to because I find you _extremely_ attractive.. Because I trust you, and I know you care about me.. So even if it was stupid, I know I wouldn't regret it. Ever... Would you?" I whispered as I moved closer, he trailed his hand down to hold my jaw gently, pulling me into a deep kiss. I took a sharp inhale of surprise as I molded my lip with his, wrapping my arms around his neck as he held me by the small of my back, he pulled away from my lips slowly, they clung together as I opened my eyes slowly to look up at him.

"Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eli like never says my name bc I think it's so weird that we have such similar names lmao.  
> Sorry if you don't like the Scruffy Mountain Man, but I love hiiim. There will be more Palmer x Pierce in the last chapter too.  
> Any who, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	15. Yearn of The Solider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smutty goodness and depression!  
> Enjoy haha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, our story has come to an end.  
> I changed up the ending of the game in my own like.. Third decision at the end of the game, there will be a lot of emotions and I hope you like it :)  
> It's a whopping 12,120 word mixing bowl of all kinds of shit man, fluff, smut, depression, anger, and lots of love.  
> I hope you enjoy!

_Here I am, out on a limb_  
_I'm giving up, so come on, Honey, give in_

I hissed in pain as the damp fabric of the cotton wash cloth made contact with my skin. "Sorry.." I shook my head as I tightened my grip on my shirt as I kept it pulled up, "You're fine, doesn't hurt that bad.." I murmured as I looked down at the deep cut on my hip, "Bullshit.." Eli said as he set the rag to the side to grab the thread from his first aid kit, "Gonna need you to lay back and keep still for me." I did as I was told, laying back on the bed that he used during long nights spent in the monitor room. I watched his face as he worked, putting a dry rag under me for any blood that might ooze out of my body while he worked. I bit my lip slightly as I felt the curved needle pierce my skin, tugging slightly as he moved the thread through me and I felt like an old t-shirt  being patched up anew. I moved my eyes to his dark ones as he focused intensely on the wound while he worked. "How exactly did this happen, Dep?" He let out in a disconnected voice as he kept his concentration on the stitches he wove. "Uh-ha.." I chuckled nervously, "I got a little spontaneous and attacked a group of Peggies who had hostages.. They all got away, but it was me against four. I totally had it until a fifth guy came back from taking a piss, I guess.. I snuck up on me and tackled me to the ground while I was lootin' the camp. I managed to take him out but I hadn't realized there was a huge gash in my side until I was like... A mile away. I tried calling Nick but I felt so light headed that I couldn't remember how to work shit. Just lucky the Militia members found me." 

_But you don't my arms or legs no how  
_And I've been trying, I've been trying to figure it out__

I chuckled, and he shook his head as he cut the thread, bandaging me up before he gently pulled my shirt down over it, "You need to stop going out by yourself." I shrugged, "Nick's at home with his daughter, and I like being alone while I'm out. Besides, it was an easy job. If that guy hadn't been able to sneak up on me, I'd of been just fine." I sighed as I crossed my legs on the bed, rubbing my thumb over the heel of my foot to smooth over the fuzzy socks I'd worn to keep my toes nice and toasty. "You should take someone, take Peaches or Siris if you don't want anyone interrupting your silence." I looked down with a sigh, "I can't take Siris, he reminds me too much of him. As for Peaches, she's been sick so she's been at the vets. She's stubborn so it's hard to really treat her." Eli sighed as he sat back in his chair, "You could always tag along if you're so worried. You don't talk much, I might not mind." I joked as I leaned into the wall behind me while looking up at him slightly. "I've got work here I can't ignore, but maybe every now and again I can keep you company." I smiled as I looked down, rubbing my side gently over the fabric. "Everyone already turn in for the night?" I looked around once I noticed the silence that was over the bunker side from the faint lull of Wheaty's music, Eli nodded in response as he packed up the first aid kit. I hummed to the song as I watched him, "You patched me up, so you should let me clean you up." I said as I leaned over to scruff his beard. "Take your pain medication and leave my beard be." I smiled as I took the pills from him, gulping them down with the water he handed me without a moments hesitation. "Just a little trim so it doesn't puff your hair up at the ends with way it does." I murmured as I smoothed my hand over the hair that was softer than you'd imagine.

"Do you condition it?" I asked, and he looked over, "Fine, you can trim it." I smiled as he stood up, moving into the hallway to go to the bathroom, and I waited patiently knowing he wouldn't let me follow him being all patched up. He returned with a pair of scissors and another chair for me. I stood to move into the chair across from him as he sat down, he held his hand out for me and I took the scissors from him with a smile. I set them in my lap and pulled my backpack to me to get my brush out of the front pocket, "Imma use this to make sure it's all nice and neat." He rolled his eyes, "I know what a brush is." I chuckled softly as I held his jaw to gently hold the hair as I brushed it out, I tossed the brush onto the bed before I started to shape the long scraggly strands that extended from him. As I moved my hands through the trimmed curls I had flashes of ginger that replaced his walnut hair, piercing blue eyes watching me rather than his own warm brown eyes studying my features. I took a deep breath to let in Eli's scent leather, evergreen, and a faint trace of a familiar smokey tang. I furrowed my brows with a slight smile, "Palmer, do you smoke cigars?" I asked, and he quirked an eyebrow at me, "I do, why?" He let out and I chuckled softly, "I can smell it on you, I've never noticed. When did you start smoking them?" He hummed for a moment before giving a shrug, "A few years, I go out once everyone is asleep to smoke to get ready for bed." I hummed, "Eli Palmer's night time routine. What's that like?" I chuckled as I wiped his shoulders of hair.

  _And I've been trying, I've been trying to figure it out..._

"When I'm not patching you up?" He asked jokingly, I gave a chuckle as I moved to get the broom to clean up the fallen hair while he brushed himself off, "It's pretty boring." I smiled, "Aww, your nights are boring without me?" I asked in a teasing joke. "Pretty much." I chuckled but looking up at him he just gave a warm smile that made my heart flutter. "I have a uneventful routine, kid. I finish up the days work, check the cameras, turn the alarms on encase of any threats lurking around. I go out for a smoke, come back in to brush my teeth, check around the bunker to make sure everyone is safe and sound. Lock the latter hatch, the main hatch, then I go into my room to retire, usually to read before I just go to bed." I smiled as I swept, imagining Eli doing everything as he spoke. "What's your routine now that I'm here tonight?" I asked when I came back from throwing away the hair, he looked up at me as I approached, "Depends on how long you plan on staying, Pierce." I gave a hum as he stood, towering over my short self, "Let's say... Over night..?" I saw his dark eyes warming into a boil as he glanced down to my hand that was placed over his chest, "In that case.. Drastically different." He let out in a low tone that send a gentle shiver up my spine to heat my cheeks lightly, "Walk me through it?" I whispered and he smiled, "I'd find you at my door.. Patch you up for your reckless behavior" He started causing me to let out a chuckle, "Let you talk me into cleaning up a bit.." He hummed as I slowly moved my hand through the shaped beard, "Making you look nice and even more hansom.." I added as he moved his hands over the small of my back to hold me, "Have pointless conversation that's far from meaningless to me because it's with you." I looked down with a blush blooming dark with my smile. "Admire your beauty and wonder how I got lucky enough to find a beautiful soul that has made me feel happier than I have in the passed... 5 years?" I felt his index finger and thumb ghost a pinch under my chin to move my gaze up to him slowly. "Show you what you mean to me, if you'd let me..?" I felt by heart pound against my chest in a shaky throb, nodding slowly as I looked up at him feeling his hand slip to hold me by the curve of my jaw, fingers tickling the nape of my neck as he guided me into a kiss that made my breath waver. I moaned into Eli's lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on my tip toes to kiss him fully. 

Eli pulled away slowly, and I let out shallow breaths as I looked up at him. "Gotta do this right if we're going through with this..." He whispered, his tone asking for more reassurance, more confirmation from my side to be sure I wanted this. I nodded as I peered up at him and I could feel the cloud of lust darkening my bright blue eyes. He hummed as he kissed me again, guiding me as he walked backwards, we came into the dark hallway. Standing in the closed door across the bathroom as he reached back to turn the knob. We moved inside, pulling away as he locked the knob as I studied the room, Eli's room. It had a bed pressed into the wall with a deep grey blanket, and navy blue pillows at the head. There was a small dresser across from it with papers stacked on it, and a Whitetail Militia poster between the two. He watched me as I pulled my shirt off, looking down at the bandage on my hip, I glanced down to it before pulling his focus back to my eyes. "I'll be fine, I've done more with worse injuries. I took down Faith's bunker with a bullet in my shoulder, and one near my lungs. Along with second degree burns over my legs and back." I shrugged dismissively, "This is nothing." I reassured, and he glared down at me in concern. I pulled him by his shirt into a kiss, he hesitated before cupping my cheeks, easing me away so that he could guide me onto the bed cautiously. I hummed softly as I watched him move over me, tugging on the button of my jeans as he gazed down to me with gentle eyes. I lifted my hips up to encourage him to pull them off of me, he did so quickly, easing me down and I chuckled softly knowing it was because of my stitches.  

 

_Baby, I might as well break it to you now..  
You're still the one..._  

I was left in my under garments beneath him, my lacy blackberry purple lace bra, and black underwear with a little purple button in the center to match the bra. He smoothed his hand up the hip that wasn't wounded, trailing up the silhouette of my body, pulling the opposite leg up onto his thigh to move me closer to him as he brought me into a deep kiss. I pushed his jacket off, and he tossed it to the side, tugging at his shirt for him to pull it off. I studied him as he threw the Militia shirt onto the floor with his jacket, he was thin under the layers, but he was toned over, and I traced my hand over the rolls of muscle. He watched me as I did so, taking my hand before it slipped under the band of his jeans, I looked up and he shook his head, "Slow." He hummed, "I want to take my time with you, Ellie." My heart stuttered at my name on his lips, and I nodded slowly while moving my hand over my head, "Then you'll have to keep me still.." I murmured, "I tend to.. not listen." I whispered, there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes as he gave a soft chuckle holding my wrist gently,  
"I wouldn't expect any less.." He said, moving to pin both my wrists down making me give a soft gasp as a blush burned over me. Eli slowly kissed me, moving down from my jaw, to my neck, and over my chest. He trailed a hand across my rib cage before he smoothed over to my back, I lifted at the pressure he gave, and let him move under me to unclasp my bra with his free hand. I looked up at him with a smile, "Impressive.." I chuckled as he pushed it up to expose my breasts, "Like I said.. More experienced.." I murmured as he moved down to suck my nipple passed his lips, I gasped softly at the shiver of pleasure that tingled over me as he did so. He tested the waters with a gentle nip at my skin, when I let out a hushed moan as I arched my back he repeated the action with more intensity behind the bite. I nibbled on my lips as he sucked on my skin to mark it darkly before pulling away for goosebumps to rise at the cool air that washed over his saliva. He stroked my jaw in a gentle touch, when I flinched at the touch he pulled away. I looked up at him with a soft reassuring smile, "I'm used to being slapped.." I murmured suggestively with an innocent tone that tended to drive men crazy.

I saw Eli's beard shift telling me he flexed his jaw at the comment. "Eli..?" I whispered in the innocent voice, and he hummed lowly in response, "What's the matter, hmm?" He shook his head as he watched me, "I've never met a girl who.." I smiled softly as I wrapped both legs around him to pull him into me. "You've never been with someone like me?" He shook his head, "I never brought this stuff up, and I..." I moved my hands out of his grasp and he let me, "You were scared to ask for it?" He nodded slowly and I followed suit, "Most men are, asking the wrong girl could lead to terrible places.. I know, I've met guys who had it happen. They want to control a woman, want her helpless.. Weak, struggling against their power. Whatever the fantasy, the wrong girl could demonize you." I looked into his eyes, "But I'm the right girl." I whispered, pushing him into me as I moved myself into him. Eli groaned at my words, eyes closed as he gripped into my leg to still me, and I obeyed the action. "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it, Palmer. You don't have to worry, I've got my safe word ready." I grinned, he opened his eyes to peer down at me with a low groan, "It's red. You hear that, stop.." I gave a shrug, "But I hardly ever use it." I whispered, and he moved his hand over my soft cheek. I turned my neck to expose more of my cheek in encouragement as he hesitated. Eli moved his hand away from me before connecting with my skin quickly, I gasped softly as I let out a moan at the soft blow. I could feel his breath become shallow as he hovered over me, I looked up at him with big foggy eyes. His jaw popped as I ground up on him, pushing me down by the hipbone to still me, I smiled as I bit my lip. "Anything you want specifically?" I asked, and he studied me, "Any names you like..? Sir is an easy one, Daddy..? Master..?" I offered with a hum as he groaned, I bit my lip with a grin, "All of the above?" Eli looked down at me, "Stop teasing me.." I kept my lips sealed, and only left a trace of my smile as I obeyed. "I don't know what I want.. Not specifically, I just want.." He trailed his hand over the pink mark over my cheek, "More." I nodded in a silent sign approval, and he pulled my loose bra off of where it hung over me, throwing it before he hooked his fingers into the hem of my underwear, pulling the garment off in one swift movement. I licked my lips as I watched him study me, he looked up at me, moving off of the bed away from me. I didn't question him as I laid there, just watched him silently awaiting orders.

_You're still the one.._

"Put yourself on display for me." He said carefully, testing the deep demanding tone on his lips. I sat up on the bed to turn to face him as I spread my legs for him, pressing my back into the wall to straighten my back, holding onto one of my knees and cupping my breast with my other hand. Eli groaned as he studied me, he moved forward to trail a hand over my knee, down my inner thigh making me twitch at the contact. I watched as his hand smoothed down until he was between my thighs. I gasped when he spread my lips open slowly, biting my bottom lip as I kept myself still, Eli rubbed circles around my clit but never directly touching where I needed him to most making me whine. I was jerked forward by my thighs causing me to gasp as I hung off the bed slightly, I gazed up at Eli with glossy eyes as I have soft pants, stirring my hips to try and create some kind of friction due to the denied pleasure. I heard a faint tear in the small room, and he shuffled for a moment before I was stilled by the knees, lifted slightly up I felt the head of Eli's cock brush over me and I moaned faintly, whining as he teased me, "Use me.." I whimpered out as I gazed up at him, in once swift movement he had pushed his full length inside of me before I could even tighten at the invasion. I choked out a moan, and he moved his hand over as he shushed me, "You'll wake the others up.." He murmured and I remembered that Wheaty was on the other side of our wall, giving faint giggle at this I pressed my lips together. Eyebrows twitching when he moved inside of me with a gentle rock of his hips so I would be well adjusted around him. I keened under him as he thrusted at a teasingly slow pace, stirring inside of me to hit every sensitive area inside of me until he found the right one as he angled upwards. When I let out a desperate moan, arching my back at the ripple over my body, he knew he'd found what he was looking for and he pushed into it with increasing pressure before pulling away gently. I whimpered under him as my body burned, itching for a fast pace as he pitched my nipple softly, and massaged my clit with his thumb. "Eli.. Please." I whimpered out as I looked up at him. "Please what?" He hummed, "Please stop teasing me.. I need you to fill me up.. I need you to hurt me.."

I heard the pop of his jaw before he pulled out of me slowly then snapped his hips forward causing me to gasp shakily. Eli's hand clamped over my lips, pressing against my cheeks to silence me, I held onto his wrist to keep his hand in place. He did so, gripping into my jawline as he picked up the pace, pressing our chests together as he held me close by the hip to keep his rhythm steady. Once I was sure he'd keep a hold on my cheeks I moved my hands to his back, raking my nails over his skin, he dipped into the guide of the claw marks as he let out a low groan. I hooked my ankles together to press him deeper into me so that the thrusts would be short and rough as his pushed passed the ruffles of my insides, pressing into each grove as he pushed into me. I arched my back as I coiled around him tightly, I lost my grip on his back as my mind filled with a white cloud, my small hands fell on his biceps to claw into the muscles as my body tingled with electric bolts of pleasure. There was a sudden sharp pain in my cheek, hand absent on my lips I could feel the pulsing of the phantom grasp over my jaw as my cheek throbbed. The pain tickled over my nerves in another unexpected wave of ecstasy that shook my core causing me to choke on the mewl I let out, Eli silenced me with his lips as his movements became sloppy. I let my orgasm rip through my body when I recognized that I was causing the man above me as much pleasure as he graced me with. The clenching around his swollen cock milked him off the edge to climax with me, I could feel the pulsing as he unloaded while inside of me. I panted as I looked up him with dazed blue eyes, a faint whimper escaped my lips when he pulled out of me. There was the snapping sound as he pulled the sticky rubber from him and threw it away. I sat up on the bed weakly as he pulled me up, I was guided into a kiss that made me moan against his lips at the sensitive nature of my skin following my orgasm. 

_Where'd you go?_  
_You missed the warm spring I would know, I felt everything.._

I slowly opened my eyes as my brain began to boot up, I drug my lazy gaze over my surroundings. First thing in my view were the messy raven locks that tickled my breast, I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist, protectively holding me in a warm embrace. I shifted on the small bed to look up to an unconscious, peaceful Eli snoring faintly as his hold tightened once I was still. I studied his relaxed features as he slept, tracing over the lining of his nose to the curve of his lips hidden under that beard of his. There was a shift in his breathing, a sort of sharp inhale as his eyes peeled open, brain whirring to live as he came to. His warm eyes fell on my watchful gaze, "Morning, Sunshine.." He let out in a gravely voice while smoothing circles into my lower back, I smiled with a hum, "Mornin', Love." A lazy smile came to his lips as he held me close, playing with my hair as he closed his eyes. I nuzzled into his chest as he wrapped a strand around his finger while I listened to his steady heart beat and the sound of him breathing. "We should get up, Eli." I chuckled, and he let out a soft groan of protest, opening his eyes once again to look at me, a gentle kiss was placed on my forehead before he rolled onto his back to let me free. I stood up to pull my clothes back on, I looked over to the half asleep man and opened his dresser to pull out a navy blue Whitetail Militia shirt to tug over my head. When Eli looked over he chuckled, "You stealing my clothes now?" I smiled as I pulled my hair out to drape over me, "Well, my Militia shirt kind of got ruined a while back, so yeah, I'm stealing your shirt." He chuckled as he stood from the bed in only his boxers, I watched him with cheeks tinted a pink as I bit my lip. Eli tilted me up by my chin with a hum, "That's fine, I like it on you." He said before moving passed me to pick up his dirty clothes from last night and redress in fresh ones. I sat on his bed as I tugged my fuzzy socks back on before dangling my short legs off the side of the bed. I smiled contently up at Eli as I watched him with a swelling heart.

"Thank you for trying to protect me." I spoke up causing him to look back at me, he looked confused for a moment before he spoke in understanding, "I was trying to protect the both of us. I have no problem letting you use me.. But I wanted to make sure that when it ended, you wouldn't hate yourself. I didn't want it to effect us, because I still want you in my life." I shook my head as I moved onto my knees on the bed to be closer to his height, holding his shoulders to steady myself, and keep his eyes on mine, "I would never regret anything I'd do with  _you_. I know I've made mistakes in the past with this stuff.. But with you it wouldn't ever change a thing, stupid reasons or not, you mean so much to me, Eli.." I reassured, he gave a smile, and I sat back on my calves while looking up at him, "Got it?" I asked gently as I held his hands in mine, he smiled with a slight nod, "Got it." I rubbed his hands, looking down as I felt the absence of his wedding ring, I glanced to his hand to see that the golden band was, in fact, missing. "Eli..?" He looked down as he let out a deep breath, "I know she's never coming back.. Six years is long enough, I'm tired of sticking to the past... I want to look at my future." I felt my heart pang as he cupped my cheek with a smile,  "Let me ask you something, have you ever been in love? You know, before him?" I looked down as I cleared my throat slightly, "Yeah, but I was just a kid.. It was right before my parents adopted me and then I moved out of state. They had been away on vacation when they decided they wanted to adopt right then. They'd talked about it for two years after my mom found out she couldn't have kids.. They saw the group home I was in, came in for a little one and walked out with me. I'll never know why, but they were a blessing. Later on they adopted my baby brother, who is nine now.. I was finally a part of a family, loved by people who were amazing, and could take care of us-- My mom's a doctor, and my dad's a lawyer." Eli rose his eyebrows at this, "Wow." I chuckled as I nodded, "I know, total power couple, it's kind of intimidating.." I trailed off as I looked down with a smile, "Anyways, I had only with him for a few months, but I loved him, he was the first guy I ever let myself love after what happened to me.. It's stupid, I was just sixteen, and it didn't even last long." "Sometimes the short lived ones are the best."

* * *

I sat in the living room with baby Beth in my lap, giggling as I bounced her on my knee while she held onto my thumbs with her tiny hands. The smell of stew filled the house as Kim cooked, Nick was setting the table for us as well as washing down Beth's high chair. I smiled as I kissed her tiny nose making her giggle. "Alright, making the plates now." Kim announced as she looked to me nuzzling mine and Beth heads together as I laughed before picking her up as I stood and rested her on my hip, I took her to her high chair. Once I had her chair all secured in place I came into the kitchen for her plate of cut up chicken, and veggies. I set it down to pour her favorite juice in her cup; Apple and Cherry. I helped Nick with our plates and we all sat down to eat, "It's not the weekend, right?" Nick said as I took a bite, and I looked up to nod, "You been drinkin' Rye?" I chuckled, and he shook his head, "When I went to take a leak I heard someone radio in about there being people at the Jessop place that you'd been livin' in, didn't see nobody's face, but there were lights turning on last night, and someone said they saw a girl's shadow while on patrol.." I rose my brow, "Well, it can't be Faith.. And we haven't been seeing them come around since John and Faith's deaths.. I don't think they've been taking it well with the broadcast eulogies, and increased activity in Jacob's region..? I doubt anyone is out there." Nick shrugged as he ate, "Just thought you might wanna check it out in case." I swallowed a carrot with a nod, "Oh, yeah, no -- We're going." Nick chuckled as he chewed his food. "I just think it'll be nothing. Local kids know it's been abandoned basically, the Seeds live there, and it's not like it's protected now that that's our territory." I shrugged as I watched Kim clean off Beth's face, taking another bite when she looked up. Kim noticed that the both of us were looking at her and gave a slight chuckle, "Yes, you can go, Nick. Ellie's probably right, just some kids or nothing at all even. You said it was like a family home to them? If anyone would be there it would be Joseph, and I'm sure it was just to get things they kept there. You two will be fine."

After we helped wash up, Nick and I headed out with his plane to save time, in case it really was nothing we didn't want to waste time. I pulled my walkie up to talk to the man who'd radioed the sighting in, "Don't worry, it'll be a quick check. I doubt anyone is still here, no need for back up." I assured as I looked down at the house as Nick flew around to land facing away from the house where the chopper used to go there was enough room for him to take off when we were ready to head out. "Just wanna look out for you, Dep. You've done a lot to make this place safe, don't want no Peggies coming around no more." The man's voice came in as I climbed out to drop on the ground, "I understand, we're here. I'll radio you when we're out." I said in dismissal as we walked forward, I looked to Nick as he followed me, "You check the greenhouses, I'll check inside." I said, and he nodded before going off to the nearest one while I cautiously made my way forward. I opened the door, moving to click the lights on but the power was out. Clicking on my flashlight I looked around the house, making my way to the kitchen as I studied every dark corner. I made my way up the steps and heard a creaking from my old room, I made my way to the door, opening it before holding my gun up. There was a gasp and I was met with big green eyes widened in fear, I put my gun down as I looked at the young girl, "Lilly?" I asked softly before pulling my gun over my shoulder. "No-- Stay back!" She shouted as she scrambled to her feet in fear while holding a lantern, I held my hands up in surrender as I came closer, "It's okay, I'm not here to hurt you, Lilly. I was just checking in on a call." I reassured as I looked over the girl, she looked like a mess compared to her usual angelic appearance that was now disheveled, she wore a simple white sundress, her feet were bare, muddy, and cut up. She had bandage around her left forearm that was old, and needed to be replaced by the worn out appearance with faded dry blood. Her hair had grown longer and was now in knots that stuck out, her once soft morning dew eyes were now a dull jade as if they had been sucked of her bright soul and replaced with fear, sorrow..

"Lilly, please.. What happened to you?" She shook her head, "The Father.. He -- He wanted me to be the new Faith.. But I couldn't.. The Bliss, it was too much... it was too scary, I didn't.. I didn't want it, it made my mind all foggy and gross.." She murmured as I came close, she seemed to have calmed at my approaching her but when I touched her shoulder she shoved me back, "No! You murdered John, and Faith!" She cried out, and I stepped back as she pushed me weakly. "Lilly, I had to.. They were hurting innocent people.. Did Joseph do this to you..?" I asked as I looked to her wrist, and she shook her head while backing up, "I did... Me." She whispered and I furrowed my brows in sadness, "Why?" I asked, and she gave a whimpering hum as she rubbed her eye, "They won't stop.. So much noise..." Lilly let out as tears fell, "They just keep yelling.. I can't help them, make it stop.." She whimpered and I came towards her, she looked up suddenly as a floor board creaked and she ran behind her through the connecting bathroom between mine and Faith's room. "Lilly, wait!" I shouted as ran after her, following her down the steps as she stumbled, bursting into the kitchen. I came in shortly after her to have a gun pointed in my face.. I held my hands up again as I looked at the pistol in her frail grasp, "Lilly, please.. I can help you, you can come with me, and I can help you get better." "No! You can't.. I'll be an Angel... No one can stop that, there's no cure for me.. I'm gone." She let out as tears streamed from her empty eyes, she face didn't even contort as they fell, she just stared blankly at me as if I wasn't really there in front of her, like I was another demon in her mind. "Lilly, I heard them too.. I was almost an Angel too, but my friends saved me.. I got better, it doesn't have to be this way.." I said as she backed me out the side door of the kitchen, I moved out of the house and watched as she pointed the gun behind me. "Nick. Don't shoot." I ordered him and watched Lilly's wild eyes swimming with paranoia and fear, "I can help you.. So can he, my friends have something to make you better.. It's scary, but it works. I promise you that you will get better, and I'll be with you every step of the way.." I reassured as I stepped forward, she watched me as the gun twitched in her hand, fat tears falling as she let me come close but didn't lower the gun. "How...?" She whimpered, and I smiled softly, "We have a sort of antidote, if you come with me I can give it to you myself." Lilly looked down with a slight nod, lowering her gun an inch.

_Yeah the blossom bloomed, and wouldn't you know_  
_It's a shame, it's a shame how it never did grow..._

Time slowed when a shot rang out, echoing in my distant mind as I felt blood on my skin. Cold fell over my body as the sounds of chirping birds filled the air as they flew away, there was another explosion of the gun and the smell of copper filled my lungs as blood gushed onto the ground. The crimson red splattered onto the stone path, seeping into the cracks as the soft grey was stained in splutters, and ripples that expanded as the blood hit the ground. I whimpered in pain as I stepped towards Lilly, falling to my knees in a tight grasp as we both landed on the hard surface. I couldn't tear my gaze away from those green eyes as I felt blood soaking through fabric under my touch, I let out a choked sob as time speed back up once my kneecaps bruised under the impact of the blood stained walk way. I held Lilly in my arms as blood crawled over her sundress, her green eyes frozen in a look of pain and paranoia. I sobbed as I cradled her head under my left arm as my right hand hovered over the bullet that had cracked through her skull, my fingers were smeared with her blood as I rocked her in my arms as I wailed in pain. I heard fast approaching foot steps as my throat rawed, I swallowed thickly as I slowly placed her limp form on the path, turning to the men before me as they all spoke. "I told you not to come." I let out in a low voice as my face fell slack, tears rolling down my cheeks to my neck. "I know, but you didn't answer your radio, and we wanted to help. She was pointing a gun at you, Dep, what were we suppos-" "She was afraid!" I snapped as I stepped forward, "You were  _supposed_ to stay the  _fuck_ back like I ordered you too. She was just a kid! She was innocent!" I shouted, and the man looked to the others with him, "Deputy.. She's a Peggie.." My eyes widened as I looked at him, before I could think my arm shot up and a bullet flew threw his skull, I aimed down and shot him in the lungs as the others stumbled back in fear. "An eye for an eye..." I murmured as I looked down at his mirrored wounds.

I blinked for a moment as I watched the blood spill over the ground and crawl it's way into the dead grass of the lawn.. "Nick..." I muttered as I couldn't move my gaze away from the man's limp form. Slowly I was guided away, face pulled up to look into Nick's blue eyes blurred by the tears in my eyes, the pistol was taken out of my hands before being dropped into the ground. "I... I killed him.." I muttered with a whimper, "Nick, I just killed a civilian.." I cried, and he hushed me as he pulled me into a hug. My sobbing stopped as my vision flickered, my brain buzzed with a melody that drowned everything out. My eyes felt like static as I pushed Nick away from me slowly. "Nick....." I let out slowly as my muscles became loose, weak under my weight as if it had tripled within seconds. A red tunnel came around my eyes, Bliss twirled around inside of me as I stumbled back, Nick tried to help me but I yanked my arm away, "No... No-- Nick, it's Jacob.. _Run_. Leave me alone, just leave!" I shouted as the sound intensified, ringing in my ears as the buzzing vibrated my mind, pain shot through my head as if my blood vessels were popping at the seer intensity of the sounds bouncing through my ears. My eyes burned as the red closed in on Nick's face, " **RUN**!" I let out in a deep voice sanded down in pain, I toppled over with the music blaring in my ears with the taunting tune of the love song tainted with my conditioning into a puppet for the man who once loved me, but always had power over me. 

_I listened to your songs, they were kinda getting old.._

When I opened my eyes I was laid down on the muddy ground of my cage. Dirt turned to mush with blood, urinine and who knows what else... I looked to my right to see the music box set outside of my cage, my brain snapped in action and I launched forward in hopes of shattering the damn thing. My face was pressed into the bars, and I strained to reach as my fingers brushed the box. I shouted in pain when my hand was crushed under large, familiar boots that dug into my skin to further the pain. I looked up to Jacob as I held onto one of the bars above me, trying to pull away from him. "Don't worry, you'll be out of there soon enough.." He spoke as he lifted his foot, and I stumbled onto my back, sprawled out as I looked up at him. Jacob leaned closer into my cage as I looked through foggy red eyes, "Did you think you were free?" He chuckled as he picked up the music box, "You may have been one of us.. Gotten away from us in the end, but that's okay.." He hummed as he winded up the box while I shifted to hold onto the bars weakly. "I'll teach you not to run from me. You killed my baby brother.. All for what? To be a hero?" He scoffed as he held the box, "I already told you. You're not a hero. You are a tool. Now you know your purpose. You've known it from the beginning..." He whispered as he opened the box filling my mind with his manipulation as I dropped to the ground.

I opened my eyes to the room I came into so many times before, the oddly painted revolver before me as Jacob's slide show clicked in the back ground. I came forward to grab the gun as the two men stood to point their's at me but I shot them first. One, two, dead. I ran into the room as I grabbed the orange SMG, shooting at the men on the balcony, across me, and running after me. One, two, three, four, five, six.... I hopped over the wall to got into the next room, grabbing the shotgun before me as my mind buzzed with silent orders as I pushed on. One, two, three, four. I grabbed the AR as I came into the large opening, shooting out as fast as I could as the people dropped like flies around me. One, two, three, four-- fuck how many were there....? Jacob's voice came out in praise as I moved on, telling me to push on, Cull the weak.. I came to the broken stair case room, and shot at everyone as the fires of Hell burned behind a fense making the room feel like an oven as I killed the men. One, two, three, four, five... I hoped onto the next floor, throwing myself forward to land on the platform and slide down the odd hall like tunnel. I came into the room with floating furniture and kitchen utilities, shooting the men as they came running in th door. One, two, three, four. How many people have I killed during these trails..? Jacob praised me as I moved on to the halls full of people in tiny pocketed rooms. I came into the next room that held the faceless man in it. When I pulled the trigger however, I noticed that the man had distinct features this time around...

The world came to a slowing halt as I looked at the man before me, I was frozen in time as realization rippled through me painfully. _**Eli.**_ The still world around me warped as Jacob's voice came, "Only you... Can make this world seem right.. Only you.." He sang as he came into view, "Can make the darkness bright.. Only you..." He continued as I watched him push the barrel of my AR with his index finger, pointing at me as me moved away from me, _He can't be real...._ "Hey, only you could have gotten _this_ close." I was sobbing, my chest was ripping to shreds inside of me but all I could do was stare blankly, unmoving... _He's not real, they're never real..._ "Only you could have earned his _trust_. It was always **only. ever. you.** " _Wake up... Take me back to my cage, I finished the trail. Wake up, wake up, wake up.._  "Good work, you did it, you passed your test -- You made your sacrifice. But now.." He pointed to me as he sauntered over to me, stepping close to me as my gaze remained on Eli's falling form. _He's not really there.._  "You're _alone_. And you're **weak**.. And we know what happens to the weak." Jacob whispered as he came within an inch of my face, tearing my gaze to look up at him with all the strength I could muster. "I cull the herd.. It's what I do." _It's all you'll ever do..._ "I'll be outside waiting for you.." He warped around the air as he disappeared from view, singing that damn song...

_You're still the one.._

Time speed back to normalcy around me, and I watched as Eli's body flew back to slam into the ground. "Eli...! No...! No!" Tammy's voice came as she ran to him, my eyes trained on the bullet wound between his eyes as I choked on the oxygen stuck in my throat, a sob breaking free as tears streamed down my face as I let out cries. "What the fuck did you do?!" Wheaty shouted as he yanked me by the shoulder to face him, the last time I'd seen him was this morning when he teased Eli and I for sleeping in, and noted that I was wearing his shirt.. "You fucking killed him!" He shouted as he shoved me forward, pointing his pistol at me as I stared into his tear stained eyes, "You fucking piece of shit!" His voice broke as he yelled, "Wait! Wheaty!" Tammy shouted as she came over to try and keep him calm. "He trusted you!" His voice shouted as I stared at Eli's body, choking out a sob. "Wheaty!" Tammy shouted, and I turned my attention back to him when he came closer, "I trusted you!" My lip quivered as I stared at him, "Wait! Wheaty. It was Jacob." Tammy said as I slowly stepped away from the two, studying Eli's limp body coated in blood. His gun clicked as he tried to aim it at me but I didn't move. If Wheaty was the one to finally put me down, I wouldn't even fight it at this point. "Listen to me! It was Jacob! We've seen this before..." I couldn't look at him anymore, I just kept remembering those warm eyes on me, his smile, his touch as he held me.. Our last words to each other. "Ronnie, Parker.. This is what he does. And we let him right in..." I watched as Wheaty listened to Tammy, allowing her to pull the revolver free before stepping back. "Wheaty..." I let out hoarsely as he walked away, and I stepped back from them again. Tammy turned to me with a hardened face through her tears, she grabbed me by the collar of Eli's shirt wrapped around me,  "You find.. That motherfucker.You find Jacob, and you kill him." She ordered as she shoved me away, and I looked down as I backed up. "Or next time I see you, so help me God... I'll kill you myself." I moved my gaze to Wheaty as he held Eli's blood stained hand in his own as he cried, and I backer away from the scene, and left the Wolf's Den behind.  

_You're still the one..._

"Don't cry about Eli... He was weak, and selfish." My jaw clenched as I stepped out of the bunker. "I gave him a chance to prove himself, all he had to do was hand over his Whitetails.. Could have save us all this trouble." The world was on fire in my deranged mind still effected by the conditioning twisted with the Bliss in my mind. "Let's say you get out of this. What's next? You go back to running errands for some teenager and a housewife? The Whitetails are _nothin_ ' without Eli.. _You_ are nothin' without Eli." I destroyed the world around me to get to Jacob for what I had done because of him. I killed every person, and damn Judge around me as they came in for a kill, I tore everything apart as I made my way through every obstacle he set in my path. Destroying every beacon to take me out of his damn trance. Clear minded at last, I came out victorious against his men, every one of them that came after me was killed within three minutes. I made my way up the mountain that Jacob was sniping from by moving around with ease in the darkening sky. I could take someone down unnoticed with the camouflage of my dark clothing, and hair. I beat them to death with pipes; Men, women, wolves. All of them to a bloody pulp before I inched closer, up the mountain, climbing the rocks, following the path until I came to him. I took a shot to the shoulder, he a shot to the forearm. I took another to my bicep and he took a close call to the face, the bullet grazing his cheek before he tried to zip-lined away from me. I ran out at Jacob to shoot him in the back of the leg before he could get to it, in fear of him reaching Tammy, and Wheaty. I came out of the trees slowly as he fell to the ground in a stumble before forcing himself up, turning to me with a chuckle,  "Ahh, bout time you came out.. Lurking in the shadows -- I thought I'd have to come get cha'. Was worried you'd turned soft on me." "Fuck off, Jacob. I was only hiding so I could live long enough to end you." I let out lowly, and he chuckled as came over in a slight limp, "No.. You're a _solider_. You _do_ as you're _told_. _That's_ why I picked you. You don't think -- You _act_. Like I said, at the end of the day.. You're _nothing specia_ _l_."

_And in the end, call it what you may..  
A war, a twister, or a tidal wive.._

I swallowed as I felt his words cut deep, glaring at him as he spoke. "You're just another tool. Your judgment is clouded because your mind is weak.." He groaned in pain as he put pressure on his leg before chuckling as he spoke, "You're tougher than I thought, I'll give you that.. But killing me? Won't change a  _god damn_  thing." He stepped up to me, even in a limp he towered over me.. "You think I  _give a shit_  if I die? That's  _my_   _purpose_. I'd give my life for Joseph's -- And I'd do it gladly. I understand my role; I am his sacrifice. It's as simple as that. But  _you?_  ..You've forgotten your purpose, Deputy. You were on the Path of the Chosen.. But now you've  _strayed_. Fear did this to you -- But don't worry. I can help with that, I can  _remove_  your fear.  _Give_  you strength. It's not too late..  _Come back to me_.. I  _know_  you still care about me..." He whispered as he move to hold me by the jaw. " _Remember_  your purpose.. The weak must be culled.. You will  _train_ , you will  _hunt_ , you will  _kill_. You will  _sacrifice_." "I love you."  Jacob was taken aback by my words, finally admitting to him what I meant to that day so long ago.. Finally speaking the three words he acted as though they had never matter to him, when in reality they meant the world for him. To believe he was loved by someone in the way he'd always yearned for, even if he didn't admit it, even if he didn't believe me when I told him. I took his moment of weakness to my advantage and plunged my bowie knife into his side. He gasped as I slicked through his skin, and held the blade in place as I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

_Well, hell, I say we just made a couple bad mistakes..  
It's a whiskey burn we just need to chase._

I dropped with Jacob to the ground as he let out choked noises of pain, I looked down at him as he panted under me. I glanced up as birds flew overhead in a large group, confusion contorted my face as I watched them. I scanned the surrounding area as an odd whistle cut through the crickets, and peaceful night air as the full moon glew over head. There was a rush of cool wind biting at my skin before a blinding flash ripped through the sky, my eyes widened as I watched the sky fill with smoke. "Jacob..." I muttered as I watched the mushroom cloud bloom, brightening the night air with its power as chills crawled over my skin creating goosebumps. The light dimmed as the smoke filled the sky, a radiating wind whipped around the mountain tingling at my skin as I looked to Jacob as he coughed, my eyes landed on the zip line and I stumbled up. "Jacob, we have to go. Now." I said as I tugged on his arms weakly, struggling as he barley propped up into a slouch as he groaned in pain, "No can do, Darlin'.." I pulled on him again, "Get the fuck up! I have lost too many damn people today. Get your ass  _up!_ " I shouted, he looked up at me with a painful grunt he got up, I let out a shaky breath at the blade in his stomach, I tugged off my jacket, ignoring the burning sensation over my skin as I balled up the center as I looked up at him. "Take it out, quick and clean.." I ordered, and he did so with a painful cry, I pressed the balled up hoodie into the wound, wrapping the loose sleeves around him tightly to keep pressure on it, "We need to find a bunker, and quick if we're gonna make it out alive.." I muttered as I looked around with tears burning in my eyes, "The zip line.." Jacob groaned out, I looked at him, "You go on that and it's not gonna end pretty." I said, "I'll be fine." He grunted, and I nodded "Then go." I ordered, "Go! Don't fucking argue." He was down in a flash, and I waited for the thing to come back, when it was within 30 feet I couldn't wait another minute with the blistering over my skin, I jumped off the cliff side to grab on, sending me rocketing down the line to meet Jacob at the bottom. My lungs burned painfully as I looked around, "I came in a car... It's close by." I held the mountain of a man he was up on my shoulder as he guided me through to where he had the car, when we got to where he pointed me to I saw Baby parked. No time to dwell on Jacob keeping my car, I shoved him into the passenger side, willing for her to turn on and get us the hell out of here. When the engine roared to life I cried out happily before halling ass without any real sense of where I was going, "My bunker.. It's far, but it's the best we got..." Jacob said weakly, and I took a turn, pushing on 120 as we zipped through the streets of fleeing cars.

There was another blast behind us in the distance, the sky turned a ominous crimson over head with smoke clouds blocking the moon from letting light peak through. I let out cries as I flipped on the brights while trying to get us to the bunker. "You know, my brother saw all this comin'.." He groaned as he held the knife in place, "I don't know if he talks to God, that doesn't matter. He was right.. Humanity is once again.. In crisis.." He let out in a groan, "Doesn't matter what we build, or achieve.. We will always find a way to break it down.. Babylon, Rome... Empires rise, empires fall... America." He grunted, "We're no different.. Thought we we're indestructible.. World War Two, War on "Terror".. We survived it.. but it only brought us closer to the edge... Now look at where we are..." I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel as I drove, "How about you save the breaths you have, Jacob. I took you with me so you  _wouldn't_ die.." He turned over as I took a sharp turn to avoid a fallen tree. "Yes.. You saved me, you could have left me behind.. But you didn't.. Your friends could have saved you in that bunker of theirs.. Why didn't you go?" He let out in a wheeze, "Because despite every, single,  _horrible_ thing you've done to me, made me do, and put me through.. I still love you. I didn't just say that to stab you.." I explained as I drove on, "I love you, you _god damn_ sociopath -- Now let me _fucking drive_."

But there you go, you turn your face away  
I should've known, it's how you've always played..

When we finally got there I slammed on the breaks as I basically drove into the damn entrance as we arrived. I hopped out of the car, running over to Jacob's side to get him out as quickly but cautiously as I possibly could. We made our way to the sealed door and I looked over to Jacob as he yanked the key from his neck to hand to me. I unlocked the bunker and ran with him to go further into the bunker. "Don't bleed out on me, Jacob." I said as I wavered in my step weakly, "Wouldn't dream of it, Darlin'. Would be easier if you hadn't stabbed me though.. Just sayin'." I let out a weak laugh as I stumbled, we reached the bottom of the stairs to a room filled Peggies. Everyone's attention turned to us as we collapsed onto the ground together, I turned my gaze up to Joseph as he made his way towards us, my mind registering him slowly. "Jacob.. Needs to be... Patched up." I let out as my insides burned, I was lifted up gently, and Joseph cupped my cheeks in his hands as he looked into my eyes as I held onto his wrists weakly to keep myself up. "Take my brother to the infirmary along with my dear sister." Joseph ordered without moving his eyes from mine, I gaped up at him as I was moved away with Jacob and guided further into the bunker. With the knowledge that I was safe for the time being, and Jacob would be getting the help that he needed, my brain decided a black out was in order.

_You redact your cards, but you never did show..  
You had a queen and king, and you chose to fold._

I opened my eyes to a metal ceiling, I sat up slowly to take in my surroundings, I rolled over to see another bed across me with Jacob in it. He had a blanket pulled over him, only thing visible was the clean white shirt he wore, he was sleeping by the look of it. I glanced down at myself wrapped in bandages all up my arms, over my neck, and even a large band-aid over my right cheek. My skin throbbed, burning under the wraps to be itched until my skin peeled off. I let out an irritated sigh at the pain before standing to find myself in a white tee shirt, and a pair of what clearly used to be sweatpants, but was cut into shorts to bandage around the burns on my legs. The pants made shorts made sense, the fabric could cause further irritation that I did not want. My attention was drawn to the opening bunker door, landing my gaze on Joseph as he came into the room. "Ah, so you're awake." He smiled, I looked at him as I took a hesitant step to face him, "You.. You called me your sister again, and you had your people treat me.. But why?" I asked as he made his way into the room with me, he placed a hand on my shoulder as he stood before me, "My dear, you have followed the Path. You have returned to your home." He smiled as he cupped my cheek, my brows twitched slightly in confusion, "Joseph.. I killed John.. and Faith.. How could you ever-" "My siblings' deaths were meant to happen.. They were my sacrifices.. Thanks to you however, my brother Jacob has lived beyond the Wrath of God. You broke a seal when you caused him harm, but when you decided to help him.. You changed your fate. You were always meant to end up here. With us, part of our family. You strayed from the Path, and we lost our dear brother, as well as our beloved sister. Through the sacrifice you made of your own life to save my brother's.. You were able to preserve the remainder of my Family.. I have forgiven you my dear sister.. Because of you Jacob is finally happy." I looked down as I listened to him, he stroked my cheek when we heard Jacob stir. We both moved over to him as he sat up, looking over at me as he opened those piercing blue eyes I'd missed so fucking much. I fell onto the edge of his bed to pull him into a cautious hug. "Nice to see you, too, Darlin'." He rumbled out in a gravely voice as he held me in a tight embrace with one arm. "Let me take you to eat, my Family." Joseph said making us pull apart, I helped Jacob up and we all made our way through the bunker to the large cafeteria and dining area.

_Could've paid you debts, but now you're gonna owe..._

I followed behind Jacob as he made his way to a table while holding his side in pain. I smiled sadly as I sat with him, "I'm sorry I stabbed you.." I muttered, and he chuckled, "Ah, it's alright, Darlin'.. Just remind me never to cheat on you." I felt my heart stutter at this, he looked up at me as he took a bite of his sandwich, "Don't look so surprised. You may have gotten away from me, and we had a falling out.. But I told you before, you never stopped being mine.. I know you were with other men, with Eli." I looked away slightly as he spoke, "But I beat you in the woods, then forced you to kill the man who stole you from me.. So, I forgive you.." He said, and my heart ached at the mention of Eli, there was a deep sigh from Jacob as I remained silent. "Real question is.. Why the hell did you save me after all that.. How the hell can you say you love me after that?" I rubbed my eyes before picking up my spoon to poke at my Jell-O, "I haven't a damn clue, but I'm sure it'll be the death of me." He chuckled as he looked over me, "Looks like it almost was.." He murmured as his eyes scanned over the bandage wrapped over my limbs, "Ah, this is nothing. Burn scars all over my arms and legs? I mean, I don't exactly expect you to run for the hills considering.." I smiled as I took a bite of the jiggly sugar goo. There was a clatter of a plastic tray at the head of the cafeteria that drew my attention to the line we'd come from. There was a pain in my chest when my eyes landed on Grace, she was disheveled in appearance; Her long dirty blonde hair hadn't been brushed, leaving it in wild waves, there were dark circles under her empty and tired doe eyes. She wore a large blue shirt that hung over her thinned form, nearly reaching her knees making the sweat pants she had on seem useless. She was standing with Joseph when she'd dropped the train sending her food all over as she marched across the dining area. I watched as she neared us with an hard focus on me, "You! You murderer!" She shouted, as I watched her I turned in my seat to stand, "Grace, Look I-" "No!" She screamed to silence me.   
 _  
You're still the one._

"You.. You killed John.." Grace let out lowly, tears falling from her eyes as she stepped to me, " _You_ took my husband from me." She cried, and my eyes fell on the diamond wrapped around her finger as pain jolted in my heart, "You get to keep yours.. But mine is gone.." She spoke numbly, and I ignored Jacob being referred to my husband because she lunged at me. We fell to the ground with her on top of me, "Why do you get to keep him?! You are the Sinner, you're the non-believer! I have served God while you have rejected him! Defied him, but you?! You get the happily ever fucking after?!" She shrieked as she ripped my bandages off to swipe her nails over the raw pink flesh, I screamed in pain as the blisters tore, and the radiating burn inside of me scorched deep into my soul as the girl attacked me. I couldn't bring myself to fight her back, the girl had been like a sister to me when I lived with the Family. I had taken away the only good thing in her life.. I was drawn out of my thoughts by the sound of metal clattering to the ground, a throbbing pain came to my cheek as Grace was pulled off of me by Joseph, yanked back to be bound by his arms as I was pulled onto my feet by Jacob. I touched my cheek to pull back a blood stained hand as I looked down at the knife dripping with small beads of my blood. I looked up at Jacob as he scanned over my injuries before taking me back to the infirmary to have my burns treated, re-wrapped, and to get the cut on my face cleaned up, it didn't need stitches, but it would scar. The jagged line went from the end of my cheek bone up to brush my hair line, she had missed my eye only by a millimeter, the cut going over my eyebrow above the end of my eyelid. It gave a dull pain when I would blink, but I'd had worse, I  _have_ worse now.

_You're still the one.._

Jacob had an angry look in his eye as he looked over me. "Don't make that face.. She's hurt.. I killed a civilian because they killed the girl Lilly from Jessop's.." I trailed off as I touched my bandaged face, looking up at him. "I don't like not being about to protect you, Darlin'.." I shrugged, "I could have protected myself, I just chose not to. Besides, you could have ripped your stitches." I hummed as I leaned against the wall, the Infirmary was rather big, which came as no real surprise, after nuclear war people were bound to be injuried badly. From car accidents to radiation burns like mine, the dark clothing I'd been wearing caused the radiation heat to cling to me, however. Most of the Peggies wore those white shirts, long sleeved because of the cold weather out. Jacob and I had beds across from one another at the entrance, but the rest of the room expanded from the smaller area we were in, there were beds lined up neatly, cabinets and crates filled with medical supplies I'd helped collect before. I rubbed over the soft skin of my hands that hadn't been burned luckily as I kept my eyes trained on the ground, "What do you think will happen to her? To Grace..?" Jacob let out a sigh, "Joseph said she needed to be lead back to the Path, she lost her mind over this, but before that little break down she was.. Becoming 'Faith', she's totally strung out right now." I glanced up at him as I crossed my legs in my bed, "So what-- Joseph's is.. Re-conditioning her?" I asked, and Jacob shrugged slightly with a nod, "Essentially, yes. She wanted him to after John's death, she wanted to take her role as Faith. I think the girl wants to belong, and she's willing to anything in order to." Before I could respond Joseph came into the room, looking to us with a gentle smile, "Grace will be alright, there's no need to worry. I hope that you were not injured to severely?" I shook my head to him, "Just a scratch.." I smiled, and he returned it, "Then I'm glad. Now, I have prepared a room for you two, follow me?" I looked to Jacob as he stood, and followed suit with a nod. "Excellent.. Come, come." He said before leading us out of the room, and through the halls to where we would be sharing a room.

The room was filled with the basics for the moment, there was a bed on the left wall, a large dresser across from it, a desk with a rolling chair, another door in it that lead to a bathroom. The room was bigger than I'd expected, not that I minded it of course. Joseph said his goodbye to make his way back to 'help Grace', and closed the large bunker door to seal us in safely. I watched Jacob lock the door as I sat on our bed with a familiar duvet over it, "Did you move in here from the Vet. Center?" I asked as I smoothed my hand over the thick charcoal grey cover as he came over to sit with me. "I did. I didn't want to be there anymore unless it was to train. Reminded me too much of you." I looked up at him as I pinched the fabric under my fingers, "Though, I still have plenty of shit here that reminded me of you.. The damn covers that you love so much." I smiled softly as I looked up at him, "They're so thick, and fluffy. I love the ruffling sounds, very soothing." I chuckled, and he moved to rub his thumb over my cheek not covered by the bandage for my burn. "I'm all damaged, and scarred up now.." I murmured as I touched his exposed old scars, he had his own burns wrapped in bandage as well. "Ah, we've just got so much more in common now." I chuckled as he spoke before letting out a deep sigh, "Jacob.. Are we going to work out..? You said before that I was still yours, but are you still mine?" I asked, and he scooted closer to me, "Darlin', I will be yours till the day I die. Ain't a god damn thing you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. I've already been proved wrong, thinking I ever stopped loving you." He furrowed his brows slightly as he looked down at me, "Only question is.. Do you want that? You wanna be stuck with a 47 year old vet, damaged and ugly with a mind more fucked up than any scar on my body?" I smiled as I held his cheeks in my hand, "I must have a more fucked up mind than you, Love.. Because I don't want nothing more than to wake up to you every morning.." He looked down at me with soft eyes, "Then I guess there's no escaping me now. You're stuck with me for good, because I'm never letting you go again."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

_You're still the one..._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I had throughout the last chapter had played in the Wolf's Den the last time I talked to Eli, and it broke my mf heart man. I hunted it down, so if you want to know what it is it's Still by Huxlee. It made me so emotional listening to it because it made me think both of Eli and Jacob at the same time.  
> Side from that, I hope you guys enjoyed this long ass ending chapter, and I'm glad you stuck around!  
> I plan on making another book, but I haven't yet planned anything out but a lot of domestic fluff with Jacob.  
> Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you in the future of my Far Cry world! <3


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